Memories for the Future
by shadowinRW
Summary: Being rewritten as Splinter and Reforge. Because this title didn't fit at all.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** Hey! So, I'm in college and have no idea how long it's going to take me to update. Hopefully not too long. Anyway, this is my first fanfic, but I have done a fair amount of writing before, so there shouldn't be much of a problem.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.

* * *

The Konoha Ninja Academy buzzed with the giggles and shrieks of excited children and the amused laughter of their parents. Five-year olds tripped over their too-big ninja sandals and their extra-long shinobi pants, then leapt back to their feet, determined not to be labeled a crybaby on their very first day of ninja academy.

Umino Iruka couldn't help smiling at the familiar noises; today was one of the few times he could really enjoy himself. The combined adrenaline of all the entering students could almost reach the level of the energy of his favorite knuckle-headed ninja.

His smile quickly fell off his face at the thought of Uzumaki Naruto, formally of Konohagakure no Sato. The blond ninja had been missing for four years now, and his absence still stung the hearts if those who had been closest to him.

"Iruka-san," a low voice called, "If you keep grimacing like that, the students will think you hate them." Iruka quickly forced a grin back on his face as he turned to face his teaching assistant.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Iruka, Hinata-san?" He hoped the near reprimand would startle Hinata to the point that she would allow her shyness to take over. It was an underhanded trick, but he really didn't want to discuss Naruto with the woman who had practically put her career on hold when the boy first went missing.

Hinata smiled, and Iruka knew his trick hadn't worked. The chances hadn't really been good anyway—no one had even seen the Hyuuga heiress blush, let alone hear her stutter, since her re-entrance to the ninja world three years ago.

"Your avoiding the question, Iruka-_san_." She shook her head, allowing the long braid she now used to sway across her back. "Besides, you're my old sensei. I can't just drop the honorific. Especially if you persist in calling me me Hinata-san as well."

He grinned and tugged her braid, keeping his grip loose so as not to skewer a finger on the spikes she concealed in her thick mane. He doubted there was a chance she'd be wearing poison-coated spikes around children, but the non-lethal spikes hurt enough.

"Why don't I call you Hinata, and you call me Iruka. I may have been your sensei, but you're a clan heir and a jounin. I'm still a chuunin." He knew that last argument was weak. Few people knew that Hinata had been promoted to jounin five months ago, and everyone knew that if Iruka ever decided to stop teaching, he would be promoted to Jounin as soon as the paperwork could be turned in.

"Deal," sighed Hinata. "We can't really argue over our names in front of the students anyway." She paused, and then turned her head to meet Iruka's soft brown gaze with her piercing white eyes. "You still haven't told me why you were grimacing earlier."

He looked away. His glance fell on a young brunette sitting on a swing, ankles crossed over too tight shoes and eyes unfocussed as she stared into a world only she could see. Hinata followed his gaze and waited.

"He…" Iruka's voice cracked, and he forced himself to start again. "He would've been twenty, and probably Hokage. If he were still here."

Hinata's breath caught; her shoulders stiffened, and her soft face took on a stony rigidity. Iruka winced and looked away. He should've known better than to mention Naruto in front of the Hyuuga heiress!

"Iruka," Hinata's voice was soft, and it trembled a little, but she did not stutter. "I never told you that I requested to be assigned as your teaching partner even after I reached jounin level. I especially didn't tell you why."

He turned his head to stare at her. "No. You didn't"

She nodded once, then began to scan the playground. "It was because you saw him. All those years ago. Even before he began proving himself to the others. You saw him, and not as a demon or an annoying brat. I wanted to work with someone who could see so clearly even without the byakugan. And I wanted to work with someone who loved- loves Naruto-kun."

Silence fell between them, heavy, depressing silence. There really wasn't anything Iruka could say in reply to Hinata's confession. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to say anything.

So he cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. "Let's welcome our new students."

* * *

Thirty students sat in their seats, impatient eyes fixed on the two adults standing in front of them. Their only indications of boredom were occasional rustles of fabric, the tapping of a finger or two against the scarred wood of age-old desks, and the occasional, hastily stifled yawn.

Iruka sighed: if only their attentiveness would last through the next seven years! He squared his shoulders and began his first lecture.

"Hello. My name is Umino Iruka, and you will refer to me as Iruka-sensei. My father was Umino-sensei, and I am not, nor would I ever presume to be, my sensei. My teaching assistant is Hyuuga Hinata—Hinata-sensei."

Already the class's attention was beginning to wander. He wondered if he should scare them into paying attention, or save his scare tactics until the next year. He decided to wait—they were only five.

"Throughout the year, you will be learning the theories behind being a ninja. You will learn our most important tools, how to use them, and when to use them. You will learn the difference between Taijutsu, Genjutsu, and Ninjutsu. If you continue into next year, you will learn how to put the theories you have learned into practice."

Half of the class groaned that they had wanted to start the cool stuff right away, and Iruka frowned. He would have to nip that kind of thinking in the bud. Ninjas concerned with being "cool" got their teammates killed.

"As the years go on, your classes will get harder. You will learn more, read more, write more, train more. You will want to sleep more, but you will not have the time to do so. This strenuous schedule will prepare you for your graduation and entrance into the world of real ninjas. If you think you won't be able keep up, or if you just don't want to try, you should just _give up_ now."

That had done the trick. A couple students looked nervous at the prospect of so much work. A boy in the back had such an annoyed look at the concept of _work_ that he could pass as a Nara. The rest of the students looked indignant at the thought of giving up. They'd show Iruka they had what it took even if it killed them!

"Future kunoichis will also learn how to act like a civilian woman. You boys will spend time learning a trade. We used to take the extra time given to boys to start them on their taijutsu, but Hokage-sama and her apprentice, Haruno Sakura, has pointed out that this type of thinking could ruin kunoichis by making them think their strength is inferior to that of shinobis. Girls who think like that tend to act like damsels-in-distress. It's a dangerous tendency that gets both genders killed."

He looked around at the now sober faces. "Any questions?"

The class looked back at him with huge eyes, no doubt just beginning to realize that shinobis actually did die. Finally, a tiny boy with lurid turquoise hair raised a hand.

"Ano, Iruka-sensei? What's 'strenuous' mean?"

Hinata stepped forward before Iruka could manage to smash his head into his desk. Her clear, soft voice commanded the attention of everyone in the room.

"What Iruka-sensei meant when he used the word 'strenuous' was that you would all be pushing yourselves to the brink of exhaustion voluntarily. You will have a busy schedule with barely any free time, and it is this hard work that will allow you to become the superior ninjas I know you have the potential to become."

Iruka stepped forward, composed once more. "Thank you, Hinata. Our first lesson is on the most important ninja tool you can and will use. Deception. Can anyone tell me what deception means?"

"Why?" Piped up a redheaded girl seated near the back. "Don't you know? You're supposed to be the teacher."

Laughter erupted at her words, and Iruka saw the turquoise boy throw an appreciative glance over his shoulder.

"I do know what it means. What I want to know is if anyone else is blessed with even a fifth of my vocabulary or if I also need to add that subject to our growing list of things-to study."

The laughter cut off nearly as quickly as it had begun. Slowly, a boy with dark brown eyes and curly black hair raised his hand.

"Deception," he began when Iruka signaled for him to speak, "is a way of tricking people into seeing you in a false light. You make them underestimate you, and then you strike in a way they never believed you could do."

"Good," smiled Iruka. "Now, you are all going to introduce yourselves. Tell us some true things and some that are false. Make sure that you will be able to trick even people who know you. At the end of the week, you will reveal what part of your introduction was true and what was false. I will tell you how you could have improved your act, and how you could have spotted someone else's lie. We will do this exercise one a month, and your grade will be dependent on how well you maintain the façade, how quickly you see through someone else's, and how you incorporate my advice."

He looked around. "You have five minutes to construct your personality. Be grateful. You'd be lucky to get five seconds from and enemy. Begin."

His ears were met by the furiously scratching pencils of thirty over-eager students. He'd have to break them of the need to write everything down.

Hinata smiled at him and nodded. They had an interesting batch this year. Enough for at least one really good team. Maybe even three. There hadn't been three truly good teams since Naruto's graduating year.

**Author's Note:** I just thought I should probably let you all know that I have absolutely no intention of making you guys go through seven years of watching OCs grow up. I would not be interested in reading that, so there's no way in hell I'm going to write it.

The next chapter should be talking about graduation, and you'll be seeing some old faces.

I'll also try to make my OCs as individual and definable as possible. I'm a big fan of reading and writing for character, so I have absolutely no intentions of writinh flat, boring OCs.

(Also, please note that this is not an exact replica of the Orignal Rookie Nine. That would be boring)


	2. Academy Life

**Author's note:** I guess this doesn't really matter if no one's reading anyway, but it feels good to write anyway. Maybe the internet elves are reading it. Maybe I should rewrite my summary, or change the title.

Maybe you're just waiting until I prove that I won't take ten years to write three chapters…hmm, that would suck. I'd never forgive myself.

Anyway, I REFUSE TO BE DISCOURAGED!! Someone will eventually read this, and maybe even like it enough to review. Maybe I should advertise…Yes.

Anyway, enough rambling—on with the story!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto Uzumaki. I do hold credit for the students whose names I am about to reveal—except maybe one…ish. But the guy who owns that one (or the idea for that one) also owns Naruto in his entirety. Yeah. Lucky you, Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

_His ears were met by the furiously scratching pencils of thirty over-eager students. He'd have to break them of the need to write everything down._

_Hinata smiled at him and nodded. They had an interesting batch this year. Enough for at least one really good team. Maybe even three. There hadn't been three truly good teams since Naruto's graduating year._

* * *

**Seven Years Later**

Hinata felt like banging her head repeatedly against a wall, or perhaps even the sharp edge of a blunt axe. Yes, that might release some of the pressure that had been steadily building up in her mind ever since she'd started helping Iruka teach this particular class.

It was the final day of the academy—the only thing the kids had left to do was pass the final examination. So what do they do? They tar and feather the floor, desks, and walls. Actually, it probably wasn't the entire class's fault. No, it was probably _their_ fault.

She was about to release a **Suiton: Suiryuudan** on the classroom—and the students—for the dual purpose of both cleaning the room and getting her revenge on the damn class. Unfortunately for her, and luckily for the students, Iruka walked in just before the annoyed Hyuuga could begin to focus her chakra.

His eyes widened briefly in horror as he took in the sight of a fluffy room, thirty giggling students, and an uncharacteristically red Hinata.****

"Hello class," he stated hurriedly. "Why don't we have our exam outside today?" As they filed outside, he shot a concerned glance towards Hinata. He didn't want to have to piece together any students who made the kunoichi angry…angrier today.

"I'm fine, Iruka." Her voice was flat, a sure sign that she had just completed at least one breathing exercise. "Let's go get these kids graduated."

After five hours of the written exam, the taijutsu practical, and the genjutsu demonstration portions of the exams, Iruka finally told the students in was time to test their ninjutsu skills in the form of the Bunshin no Jutsu. He was about to tell them to go one at a time into the small copse of trees so they could finish their test in private when Hinata interrupted him.

"Why don't we have them demonstrate their bunshins right here, Iruka? It's not as if they'll have the excuse of stage fright in a real fight."

Iruka was about to disagree when he caught a glimpse of a disappointed look on the two troublemakers of the class and the larger-than-usual veins around Hinata's eyes.

He realized that it was very likely the neo pranksters of Konoha, as they had been so accurately dubbed, had probably trashed the classroom so that the exam would have to be held outside, and therefore have the ninjutsu portion of the exam in the most secluded area. He wouldn't have been surprised to find an elaborate trap set up to humiliate the first person to enter the mini-clearing.

A quick glance at his roster confirmed that the potential unfortunate would have been one Abino Triyu, the boy most likely to become rookie of the year. The opinion of the majority of the class, save for a couple fan girls, was that he was a stuck-up snob. A little humiliation would have done him good.

Iruka sighed: it would have been fun to see the arrogant boy brought down a few pegs, but it was an extremely unprofessional viewpoint. Damn. "Good idea, Hinata." He smiled. "Abino Triyu? You're up."

* * *

His tree was starting to feel a little cramped. Really, if he was honest with himself, he didn't even want to be here. He especially didn't want a Gennin team. The thought of all the work that would go into properly training three rookies for a time of covert war made his head ache.

And now, here he was, sitting in a tree. Cramped, bored, and hungry, watching a bunch of brats who only sort of knew what they were doing—he didn't even have a good view of the sky from this angle. Why was he here?

Because the Hokage wanted a team of strategists and tactical thinkers. "Shikamaru," she had said, bloodshot eyes telling him that even thinking the word 'troublesome' would get him smashed through a wall. "Shikamaru, I want you to train three Gennin who might be able to out-think you."

A single raised eyebrow had caused her to amend her wish to "three Gennin who can stay out of your **Kagemane** for a minimum of ten minutes." Seriously, did she want him to get an ulcer?

He rolled his head to one side in order to watch the tests. It looked like they were getting to the final portion of the test: **Bunshin no Jutsu**.

"Abino Triyu?" A tall, slender boy walked forward, a smirk on his smooth, handsome face. Brown and gold hair fell neatly to his shoulders and complemented his clear brown gaze. He was attractive, and he knew it. He was also pretty good, Shikamaru noticed, as fifteen clones suddenly occupied the space around him.

This was the part that he was interested in: watching how the ninja wannabes performed in front of others. If they were arrogant or modest. Composed or nervous. Quiet or loud. Thus was the part that would really show just how well different candidates would do together, who was the most likely to stop being a ninja, and who needed one more year to prepare for the life of a real shinobi.

He watched intently and mentally made a profile list of the other eight potential ninja candidates he saw.

_Aburame Azelle_: Now here was a walking enigma. An attractive, smiling Aburame. Black hair that turned red in the sun pulled up in a short ponytail, eyes she was willing to show the world a friendly dark green. It was clear that she was very popular. Even the two, Shikamaru had marked down as pranksters smiled at her as she walked by. She smiled at the female trickster in the middle of performing her jutsu, and messed it up, creating only three good clones and four others that looked as if they had just crawled form the grave.

_Denkou Uzu_: One of the two orphans of the class. Albino pale, but shockingly green eyes and eye-catching red hair. Short, about the same height that Naruto was in the Academy. No—don't compare them to the MIA blonde. Barely managed two clones.

_Hijiikata Sougo_: Medium build, oddly cute for a shinobi wannabe. Big brown eyes framed by prematurely white hair. Youthful, innocent face. The twin swords strapped to his back looked off. He looked like he should be carrying a musical instrument, not ninja weapons. He created six clones, grinned, and practically skipped back.

_Hyuuga Inari:_ Why was a Hyuuga male wearing make-up and dressing in rags? He looked like a poor, attractive, cross-dresser. And he only produced three clones. Where was the infamously good Hyuuga chakra control?

_Inuzuka Hikari_: Finally! Someone typical. She looks like a Kiba clone. Goofy grin, short spike hair with a black and red puppy nestled among the soft locks. Oddly good chakra control for a young Inuzuka—fourteen clones.

_Shishi Ryuu_: One of the pranksters and the other orphan of the class. Turquoise hair and eyes as golden as the lion for which his family was named. He fairly jingled with the trap making paraphernalia concealed about his person. Shikamaru wondered if he was the person responsible for the truly brilliant trap in the clearing off to his left. He seemed to be thinking hard, glancing at the Denkou boy before he produced…two barely adequate clones. Had he screwed up on purpose?

_Yuuhi Asuma_: Shikamaru's godson, and one of the destined signers of the monkey summoning contract. He would probably go on Shikamaru's team unless better suited for another sensei or team. After all, ten clones was nothing to scoff at.

_Zii Dia_: The girl at whom the Aburame had grinned before purposefully overloading her jutsu. Her hair was a darker red than Denkou Uzu's, and her black eyes sparkled with a brilliant sense of humor. She trotted to the front of the group and produced nine clones, putting her pretty close to the middle of the pack.

The other students, Shikamaru decided, weren't worth profiling. They would either wash out or go back for another year during the test, but these nine—they might actually be worth something.

'Especially,' he thought as he untangled his legs from the wire trap that had been holding him to his tree. 'Especially if those two pranksters rigged the test the way I think they did, so they could end up together and on the same team as the class prick.

Yes, this year's batch of ninjas would be a very interesting year indeed.

* * *

It was pretty impressive, Iruka reflected as he went over the written exams. Every single student had passed. That hadn't happed since, since… did Naruto's year really count?

Granted, the two orphans had barely passed the ninjutsu portion of the exam, something that surprised Iruka since he knew that Shishi Ryuu had the chakra control and capacity to rival Abino Triyuu's. And Aburame Azelle should have produced more clones. Unless?

A nagging doubt in the back of his mind was justified by Hinata's exclamation of "I don't believe it!"

He turned to look at Hinata's results of team line-up. Shishi Ryuu had done surprisingly badly. So badly, in fact that it placed him at…last place? Horror slowly sinking into his stomach, he ran his gaze over the rest of the class placings.

Sure enough, Abino Triyuu had made Rookie-of the year, closely followed by Yuuhi Asuma and Inuzuka Hikari. Placing almost exactly in the middle of the pack was future kunoichi Zii Dia, best friend and fellow prankster of Shishi Ryuu, self proclaimed rival of Abino Triyuu. There was only one student left whose grades might matter:Hijiikata Sougo. Based on the boy's class performance, Iruka doubted the kid could beat Triyuu.

If they followed the usual protocol for placing teams…"Oh _shit_." He muttered. "I pity the sensei who ends up with that team.


	3. Team Matchups

**Author's Note:** Okay, I am slightly heartened now that I have found the thingy on my profile that lets me see how many hits I have. Thank you for taking a chance on reading me. Now if you just want to push that risk a little further, might I suggest a review? It doesn't have to be long—you can write "sucks" or "nice." Actually, I might cry if the only review says "sucks."

On the other hand, I might cry if I get no reviews.

Do you people want me to cry?

On that note, on with the disclaimer, review, story, etc.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. I believe I do own my characters, though.

* * *

Last Time

_He turned to look at Hinata's results of team line-up. Shishi Ryuu had done surprisingly badly. So badly, in fact that it placed him at…last place? Horror slowly sinking into his stomach, he ran his gaze over the rest of the class placings. _

_Sure enough, Abino Triyuu had made Rookie-of the year, closely followed by Yuuhi Asuma and Inuzuka Hikari. Placing almost exactly in the middle of the pack was future kunoichi Zii Dia, best friend and fellow prankster of Shishi Ryuu, self proclaimed rival of Abino Triyuu._

_If they followed the usual protocol for placing teams…"Oh shit." He muttered. "I pity the sensei who ends up with that team._

* * *

It wasn't really the tree's fault. It hadn't told him that he was going to have a Gennin team. That he was going to be stuck in Konoha with a bunch of rookies when he should be outside. Looking for his adoptive Nii-san or the Uchiha-teme that had undoubtedly dragged him away.

No, the tree hadn't told him to put his life on hold for a bunch of Gennin he barely knew. Unfortunately, unless he wanted to be arrested and executed, he couldn't demolish the person who was responsible for the…the…amateurs he was about to meet.

In all likelihood, Tsunade-sama would probably demolish him before he could even land one punch on her. But Konohamaru really didn't feel like thinking logically. He wanted to punch spmething until he couldn't feel his hands anymore, and this tree…no longer resembled a tree in any size shape or form.

It looked like a demented bush. With rabbit ears. The sun sinking behind it made a perfect silhouette of a kangaroo bounding away from some horrible danger. Perhaps even a disgruntled ninja who had just been told to babysit kids who really didn't think they were babies.

Wait a minute. The sun. Was sinking? Shit!

Scowling at his lateness and lack of time to re-bandage his hands, Konohamaru leapt into the trees and moved towards the Hokage tower as fast as he could.

* * *

Senju Tsunade really thought that legalizing the castration of late shinobi would make the village of Konoha a much more pleasant place to live. As if in answer to her thoughts, Hatake Kakashi shifted and sneezed, barely getting his book out of range of the nasty goop that soon found itself dripping slowly down the side of the Hokage's desk.

Really, it was strange that Kakashi was there and they were still waiting to start the annual meeting of team-less Jounins.

As if yanked towards the waiting ninja's bored and annoyed thoughts, the last Jounin slammed through the door, growling out a reluctant apology. Barely anyone heard it. They were either busy watching the blood that was steadily dripping down Sarutobi Konohamaru's hands or glaring at the upstart Jounin who had made them all wait for over two and a half hours.

Finally, the tense silence was broken by Maito Gai's exclamation, "Yosh! The flames of youth that were diminished by Konohamaru-kun's lateness are replenished by his admirable drive to train!"

Tsunade cleared her throat to the statement's resulting growls and said, rather pointedly, "Now that we have everyone _here_, would Iruka-san please bring forward the list of candidates?"

Iruka quickly stepped forward and held out his sheaf of papers.

Tsunade's eyebrows travelled upwards as she looked over the unusually long list of candidates. Then she turned her head towards her evaluation and strategy specialist. "Shikamaru! Which of these candidates, in your opinion, have the highest capability of becoming Gennin this year?

The lazy Jounin slowly straightened from his hunched stance and said, "Abino Triyuu, Aburame Azelle, Denkou Uzu, Hijiikata Sougo, Hyuuga Inari, Inuzuka Hikari, Shishi Ryuu, Yuuhi Asuma, and Zii Dia. Of these nine, I suspect Zii Dia, Aburame Azelle, and Shishi Ryuu threw the exams to make Shishi Ryuu the last of these nine and to put Aburame Azelle directly in the middle of the pack. I request all three of them for my team."

"Denied," Tsunade smirked. I want the Aburame in a different team for reconnaissance missions. You can have the other two. I suspect they were the masterminds of the plot to begin with?" She looked at Iruka for confirmation.

He nodded. They have been at the center of some of the most ingenious pranks and trick I've seen since, since—"

"Since Naruto." A quiet voice, one that people rarely heard anymore, came from near the back of the crowd.

Sakura Haruno glared at the crowd of surprised Jounins staring at her and snapped, "What? Aren't I allowed to mention my old teammate's name?"

Tsunade allowed herself to grin at the rare view of spitfire emanating from her apprentice and asked, "Who was the rookie-of the year?"

"It was a close tie between Hijiikata Sougo and Abino Triyuu," said Iruka. "Despite constantly being outperformed by Abino-san, Hijiikata-san actually beat Abino in the final exam."

"So we'll put him with the two pranksters. Does that work for you, Shikamaru?" Tsunade turned away from Iruka and looked questioningly at the Jounin who still seemed to favor hair styled after a pineapple.

Shikamaru was about to object when he remembered the odd veil of deception that hovered around the Hijiikata boy. Where most people treated deception as a necessary evil, Hijiikata Sougo seemed to treat it like a game. It was a trait that would work very well for a strategist. "Yes, I think it will work very well."

"Good." Tsunade turned her gaze back to her list. "I believe I have heard that the Abino boy is rather arrogant. Who is the most easy going boy and the least fanatic girl we have left?"

"Actually," said Iruka, "None of the graduating kunoichis with the most potential were particularly fangirlish. I would suggest Inuzuka Hikari and Yuuhi Asuma to make the team an all-rounder track and attack team."

"Good," said Tsunade. "Konohamaru! That's your type of team. Agreed?"

Konohamaru met her level gaze with a furious glare, and then nodded reluctantly. He could always find another tree.

"So that leaves Hyuuga Inari, Denkou Uzu, and Aburame Azelle for a reconnaissance team," mused Kakashi. "Who gets them?"

"That Hyuuga is an oddball," Ino remarked. "Does he know he looks like a professional cross-dresser?"

"Ano?" Hinata looked down, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I think that was my sister's fault. She liked playing dress-up with him when he was younger. It kind of, well, stuck."

"Ah." Tsunade looked around the room with sharp eyes. Her gaze landed on the Hyuuga heir. "Hinata. I'm taking you off teaching and making you a Jounin-sensei starting now. Have fun!"

Hinata almost stuttered her shock before she remembered that she was a confident Jounin, and she really shouldn't be teaching academy students anymore anyway. At least this way she could still teach. She resigned herself with a brisk nod.

"Good." Tsunade smiled as she looked around. "I need seven Jounins who want to fail a team to volunteer _now_."

About fifteen hands eagerly waved in the air. Tsunade picked Anko, Ibiki, Tenten, Kakashi, and Lee for the potential washouts, then Sakura and Kiba for the kids who probably needed only a little while longer before they could fully mature.

Soon after, all of the Jounins had departed leaving Tsunade alone with a bottle of sake and a too-sober head full of memories.

"Oh, Naruto," she sighed as she began her night of binge drinking. "You would have made such a _good_ Jounin-sensei."

* * *

Okay, so I'm going to try the whole A/N thing at the bottom of the story to see if that works for the whole review thing. On the other hand, I find really long Notes at the bottom of a story fairly annoying. So, yeah.

Tell me what you think and where you think I might be going with this. You'll probably be right. I don't think I'm being too mysterious about this plot.


	4. Getting their Teams

**Author's Note:** I really don't know why I keep leaving notes, but I'm enjoying babbling nonsense, so I'll keep doing it. Okay, thank you very much for reading this all you non-reviewers. If you ever decide to click the little blue button at the bottom of the story, I'll be thrilled enough to mention your name in the part that's coming up next…

**sco23-**Thank you, thank you for being my first, and so far only, reviewer! To answer (or not answer) your question, Naruto is off in a void somewhere, and nobody knows where he is. It will be further explained eventually, but as of right now, all people know is that he went on a mission, got into trouble, and never came back. They have no idea what the mission was or if he succeeded. Well, Tsunade might, but she's not talking.

Yes, it is kind of the rookie nine. I almost made Sakura a Jounin-sensei, too, but that was a just a little _too_ cliché.

I don't know yet if there's going to be a Chuunin exam—probably, and I may ask for suggestions. We'll see.

**On with the story!! And I don't own Naruto!**

* * *

**Last Time**

_"Good." Tsunade smiled as she looked around. "I need seven Jounins who want to fail a team to volunteer now."_

_About fifteen hands eagerly waved in the air. Tsunade picked Anko, Ibiki, Tenten, Kakashi, and Lee for the potential washouts, then Sakura and Kiba for the kids who probably needed only a little while longer before they could fully mature._

_Soon after, all of the Jounins had departed leaving Tsunade alone with a bottle of sake and a too-sober head full of memories._

_"Oh, Naruto," she sighed as she began her night of binge drinking. "You would have made such a _good _Jounin-sensei."_

* * *

**Shishi Ryuu**

Shishi Ryuu was unbelievably _bored_. Here he was, the most attractive person on the planet, and all the girl who was clearly meant to be his soul mate could do was rant about how she was _finally_ going to beat Abino Triyuu once she had him all to herself.

Honestly, why had he even gone along with her plot to sort-of plan the teams ahead of time? He could have easily been one of the top of the class. Instead, now he was the dead-last idiot with 

bright blue hair, and to top it off, he was going to be on a team with one of the most arrogant pricks ever to walk the planet.

Again, how had Dia talked him into it? Maybe it was the way her hair had looked with the sun shining from behind her, the way her eyes had sparkled as she revealed her brilliant plot.

Then again, it could have just been that he was looking forward to the chance to humiliate Triyuu as often as possible…

Erm…yeah.

Where was everyone? Why was it just him and Dia sitting in the soon-to-be outdated classroom? Hadn't Iruka-sensei told everyone to meet at nine in the morning? His bedside clock had said it was eight thirty when he left, so it would be nine just around _now_. His watch said it was…eight…fifteen?

"Dia!"

* * *

**Zii Dia**

Finally. It was about time that they got out of the classroom and started saving the world for real, one prank at a time. She'd heard there used to be this really amazing prankster dude who disappeared about a year after she was born.

Something about a mission gone wrong…

Eh.

Maybe he'd have made a miraculous return just the night before and was ready to take on a Gennin team—_her_ Gennin team—already. That would be totally awesome! She and Ryuu could totally have a prank war with the guy and completely show-up that Abino-teme.

Yeah! That would be the way she would beat her rival: through the noble war of tricks and pranks! Their new sensei person—what was his name again? Something to do with ramen… Anyway, he would be totally awesome and he would kick Abino-teme so hard that his head would come unstuck from his ass.

Sweet!

Yeah, right. Even if Ramen-sama is back, he's probably too cool to take on a bunch of Gennin like us. Damn.

Oh well, she'd make due kicking Abino-teme's ass. How brilliant was she? To make up the ultimate plan to make the teme's life utter hell. The only wild card to her plan was that Hijiigata Sougo person, and she doubted that he was quite good enough to take the rookie-of-the-year title away from 

Abino-teme. Although he was awfully good at that whole deception stuff Iruka-sensei kept trying to teach them…

No, no. Abino-teme would be rookie-of-the-year, and she and Ryuu would totally make his life miserable until he either lightened up or got sent to the phych ward. Heh.

"Dia!"

Oh. Ryuu must have noticed she'd set his alram clock forty-five minutes early.

* * *

**Abino Triyuu**

Finally. The last day of school with a bunch of loud idiots who don't know what they're doing there are only a couple people who. He couldn't wait to get away from the giggling girls. Unless? They wouldn't be mean enough to put him on a team with a giggler would they?

Sure, they took his silence and social awkwardness as a sign of arrogance. And, yeah, he did think he was pretty darn awesome. Even if he couldn't manage to say anything other than a cleat, historically proved fact or the name of a jutsu without stuttering.

But still, they couldn't decide that his self-imposed ostracization was so bad that they had to punish him with, with, _gigglers_. They'd get him killed!

His dad had died on a mission, and Triyuu was absolutely positive that a stray noise, like, say, a giggle, had been the thing that had gotten him killed.

The hokage had told his mother that Abino-san had been too tired to notice the enemy'e genjutsu until it was too late, but that really was impossible. His dad was awesome.

It had to have been a giggle that got him killed.

Oh, Kami. They weren't going to give him the reading, giggling Jounin as a sensei, were they?

* * *

**Hijiikata Sougo**

What a beautiful day. Absolutely perfect to mess up someone's plans for team placements. And his latest scheme was nothing short of brilliant. Who'd have thought that all of those lesson's on deception Iruka-sensei had given them would one day allow Hijiikata Sougo to prank the pranksters?

Not only that, but he'd be on a team that would probably accept his undoubtedly sadistic, but oh-so-cute, quirks. Sure, there might be some problems at the beginning. They would undoubtedly be sorry to lose the chance to torture Abino-san. But they would accept him. After all, that's what teams did.

Sougo ignored the terrified look his younger brother gave him, slipped hot chili pepper into his father's coffee, and hugged his mother goodbye. It would be interesting to see the reactions to this year's team placements.

* * *

**Aburame Azelle and Inuzuka Hikari**

Really, the day they put the heirs to the Inuzuka and Aburame clan on the same team was the day they permanently improved the two clans. The Inuzuka influence on their fellow Aburame's caused the traditionally uptight clan to relax, and in return, the notoriously impulsive dog-users had started to think through their actions a little more thoroughly.

Well they had influenced the younger generation, anyway. Azelle's cousin Shino was still as stoically taciturn as, well, a rock. And Kiba's head was still as thick as a rock. Huh, that was probably how the two got along so well.

Now that they thought of it, who had been the other person on their cousin's team? They had been tracking and reconnaissance, so maybe a Hyuuga? Which one? Clearly not Hinata-sensei. All of the Gennin from that generation were Jounin.

Wow. Nine elite Jounin from the same year.

The two turned to each other and grinned, clearly on the same wavelength. Theirs would be the next class to produce nine Jounin, or they would die trying.

Arm in arm, the two best friends neared the Academy for the last time, looking forward to the team assignments and hoping that Dia's plan had landed the two kunoichi on the same team.

* * *

**Denkou Uzu**

Thank Kami he was about to become a Gennin. It would give him access to old ninja files, and he might come a little closer to finding out who exactly his first cousin was and where he could find him.

He honestly hadn't thought it would take this long to find family when his clan had left him eight years ago.

Sure, for a four-year-old, the whole concept of time isn't quite all there, but even his clan had thought that he'd find Kushina's son fairly quickly. It probably would've helped if he'd remembered the last name of his deceased mother's older sister.

Still, the fact remained that Uzu only had a year left to find his older cousin before his clan put the kibosh on his quest and told him to rejoin their nomadic tribe.

He had promised his dying mother that he would find her nephew and bring him into the family. For a member of the Tribe of Restless Waters, the need for family and the love they showed to each other was practically a bloodline. Love and appreciation added to the strength of their people, and when someone fought to protect his or her loved ones, they became near-invincible.

He had to show his cousin that there was a whole tribe just waiting for him with open arms! He had promised!

Maybe his new Jounin-sensei would help him out. He'd ask if the Jounin proved to be trustworthy.

**

* * *

**

Hyuuga Inari

Really, why did people have to stare at him so often? He was just an attractive guy with white eyes purchasing an apple to eat on the way to team placements.

The fact that he was dressed in a very attractive kunoichi outfit really shouldn't surprise too many people. There were plenty of shinobi with weird quirks who didn't get eyeballed every waking hour of the day.

The snake lady and the twin eyebrow-freaks? Greeted with a perfectly normal "Hello! What can I do for you today?"

Sure, the civilians had had time, years even, to adjust to those quirks, and they were quirks that showed up later in life. It might be a little weird to see a cross-dressing twelve-year old, especially one from the noble house of Hyuuga.

Hanabi-chan thought it was cute, though. She had even offered to do his eyeliner that day so he could look perfect for team placements. Hanabi-chan was a little weird though. Some people said that when all the pressure her father put on her went away, when Hinata-sama decided to step up to being the clan heir, Hanabi's mind went a little silly from relief.

She was fine, really. Maybe not as dignified as the rest of the Hyuuga, but then neither was Hinata-hime. Inari smiled at the thought of his beloved Hinata-hime.

She had stopped the main house from putting the caged bird seal on his forehead. He had been the first of many free branch members, but he would always love Hinata-hime from sparing him from the fate Neji nii-san talked about in his sleep.

Really, when you thought about all the destiny crap being spewed around the Hyuuga household, Inari could almost be considered normal.

Almost.

Inari grinned as he entered the Academy, a new thought occurring to him. Most of the class didn't know Hinata-hime was actually a Jounin. Maybe they would make her a sensei. Maybe they would make her _his_ sensei.

That would be so awesome!

* * *

**Yuuhi Asuma**

His mother usually told him more than what she had done. All she had done today was smile at him and said to wait and see.

He didn't want to wait and see!

Sure, he knew his Jounin-sensei would probably be Shikamaru-kun, even if he didn't think that would be the best match-up. But he still didn't know who his teammates would be.

Maybe he'd be put in a containment team. Yuck. That just meant way too much sitting around in one place. Sure, genjutsu was similar, but at least you were allowed to use your imagination then. With containment, you had to sit still _and_ pay attention to whatever you were containing.

It would be torture! Pure torture!

If he was honest, he really wanted to be on an attack team. People always assumed that since Yuuhi Kurenai was his mother, that meant he could only be good at genjutsu.

There were two problems with that theory. First, his mother might be known for her illusions, but that didn't mean she was no good at hand-to-hand combat. His mother could kick ass! Second, he may not have the same last name, but he was still a Sarutobi! He belonged to a clan with its very own taijutsu style.

Sure, he might not know it very well yet. The only person who had mastered it was a little too obsessed with some nindo mission thingy that he didn't have much time to teach it to his young cousin. Still, the fact remained that Yuuhi Asuma was the heir to a very dangerous fighting style.

He could fight! He was one of the top taijutsu students of his class.

What Yuuhi Asuma really wanted was to be put on an assault team with a sensei whose idea of a good time was a long nap followed by a stimulating game of shogi.

* * *

**Iruka**

He couldn't believe it, but he was actually going to miss this class. Here they were, all on time, wonderful schemes ticking away behind their small, innocent faces.

He didn't want to say goodbye to the class that was helping him get over the loss—no, the disappearance—of Naruto.

Still, a sensei had to do what a sensei had to do. He stepped forward, deflecting questions about Hinata-sensei's absence, and began calling the list. He wasn't really interested in his student's reactions until he got to his fourth team.

"Team four: Zii Dia, Shishi Ryuu," he allowed the two to high-five each other, "and Hijiikata Sougo, this year's rookie-of-the-year." There was a thud as Ryuu lost his composure, and the chair he had been balancing on one leg slid out from under him.

There was a quickly stifled yelp from Dia, and the two turned to look at the final, unexpected member of the team, the shock on their faces quickly turning to respect as they took in Sougo's amused half-smile. Yes, this would be a _very_ good team. Iruka smiled and continued, "Team four's sensei is Nara Shikamaru."

Teams five through seven were unimportant, but Iruka was not disappointed in his announcement of the next team.

"Team eight: Hyuuga Inari, Aburame Azelle, and Denkou Uzu. Your sensei is Hyuuga Hinata." Inari gave a happy yelp that sounded suspiciously like 'hime-chan.' Azelle looked slightly resigned as she looked at Hikari and shrugged, and then whipped her head back to look at Iruka, a puzzled frown forming on her face. Uzu had looked relieved for half a second before giving his head a rapid shake and raising his hand.

"Excuse me, Iruka-sensei," he said, "but I thought that only Jounin could be team senseis?"

Inari grinned—was that _lipstick_ on his mouth?—and said, "Oh, Hinata-sama's been a Jounin for over seven years now. She was a Jounin when she started teaching us."

"And obviously she loved this class enough to decide to stick with at least three of us." Azelle hadn't sounded this sarcastic since she had explained to Hikari that one really couldn't eat rocks. "I thought only Chuunins could teach Acadamy."

"Most of our teachers are Chuunins," Iruka admitted. "For her own personal reasons, Hinata-san decided to teach here for a while. She'd actually still be teaching if Tsunade-sama hadn't decided it was time for a new tracking and detaining team."

He raised his eyebrows at the surprised class and said, "Didn't you know? Hinata-san was part of one of the best tracking teams Konoha has ever seen. Her teammates are fairly well-known: Inuzuka Kiba and Aburame Shino." Azelle and Hikari shot each other surprised looks, but remained silent.

"Now," said Iruka, "if there are no more questions, I'd like to continue."

"Team nine: Abino Triyuu, Inuzuka Hikari, and Yuuhi Asuma. Sensei: Sarutobi Konohamaru." He almost didn't notice Triyuu's relief among the excited shouts of Asuma and Hikari. He wondered if 

Triyuu had been hoping for a strong sensei or if the relief was based on his team placement. It would be interesting to find out.

He finished telling the last team their placement, then smiled at the crowd of excited kids. "Congratulations on passing. Go get some lunch and come back here at noon to meet your Jounin-senseis."

Iruka watched as most of the class filed out haphazardly. Only nine students had decided to eat with their teams, and in doing so, with the other two teams expected to continue. He turned to the silently watching Jounin behind him, who nodded slowly.

This year's team match-ups had gone _very_ well.

* * *

**A/N:** So, yeah, barely any action in this chapter, not that there was a lot in the last three either. I wanted this chapter to be more of a chance for you to get to know my characters and for me to figure out who they were, too. I was not expecting to make Triyuu less of an arrogant snob.

Yeah, so, I've also fixed a couple problems with the last chapters. Nothing major. I just noticed that I'd switched rookie-of-the-year from Triyuu to Sougo, so I wanted to make that less confusing.

Action-ish stuff will be starting either in the next chapter or the one after. If you review, I might be encouraged to write faster. Don't make **sco23** fell lonely because he's my only reviewer!

Keep him company!


	5. Exploding Ninjas

**Author's Note:** Okay, clearly the whole waiting to get reviews didn;t work, maybe this story just needs to get longer first. And possibly more exciting.

Sorry it took so long to update!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto.

* * *

**Last Time**

_Iruka watched as most of the class filed out haphazardly. Only nine students had decided to eat with their teams, and in doing so, with the other two teams expected to continue. He turned to the silently watching Jounin behind him, who nodded slowly._

_This year's team match-ups had gone very well._

* * *

As the nine of them sat in a rather messy circle, they couldn't help sizing up how strong the other team matchups were and how strong their fellow teammates might be.

Almost immediately, they came to the conclusion that team four would be absolutely terrifying and dangerous. Hanging out with Ryuu, Dia, and Sougo might not make the other six fear for their lives, but such a pastime would certainly jeopardize their pride. On the other hand, it was a friendship that would promise never-ceasing excitement.

Team eight, well, it was a little weird. A cross-dressing, chatty Hyuuga? A friendly Aburame? And who the hell was Denkou Uzu? All they knew about him was that he had huge green eyes and bright red hair. And he was really flexible. It would be worth staying allies with this group because where there was mystery, it was better to keep it on your side, where couldn't come up later to bite you in the ass.

And finally, team nine. The calculating Inuzuka was by no means as creepy as a chatty Aburame, but there was still something distinctively weird about a twelve-year old Inuzuka using her brain. Yuuhi Asuma was a momma's boy, no question. They'd never even seen him hang out with his dad. Well, they'd seen him with a couple ninja, but none of them looked particularly old enough to be his father. And then there was Abino Triyuu, possibly the most arrogant person in the whole—wait a minute, is he smiling?

The mindless chatter the Gennins had been using died down as eight heads turned to stare at one of the most unusual sights they'd ever seen.

Abino Triyuu was _chuckling_. And _smiling_. What the Hell?

Suddenly, Triyuu looked up, saw sixteen eyes fixed on him, and choked. It appeared that he'd…swallowed…his tongue?

Weird.

--

Hikari, after half a moment's stunned silence at seeing Triyuu—_Triyuu_—laugh and then choke, reached over and pounded her new teammate's back.

"Easy Triyuu. We don't have to eat too fast. Our teacher's aren't due for another ten minutes." A red and black head poked its way out from behind Hikari's head and yipped its agreement.

Triyuu gasped, coughed, and nodded. He opened his mouth as if to say something. Shut it, glared at his plate, and nodded again.

Hikari glared at him. No thanks? Fine, her teammate could choke next time, and see if she would do anything to stop it!

A hand reached over and wrapped around Hikari's shoulders. Another one gently massaged her fists, getting her too relax. Azelle grinned at her friend while Asuma studied the cuts Hikari's nails had made in the palms of her hands.

"That's not good," he whispered. "I don't know what we're going to do if our sensei has us do something difficult today. Your hands will have a hard time grasping anything."

Hikari bit back an angry growl. This was all Triyuu's fault!

A soft hiss from Dia made her look up just as Abino reached forward for Hikari's hand. She jerked it back, only for him to seize her wrist.

"You don't trim your nails." His voice was even softer than Asuma's. It sounded as if he was taking his time to form each word, as if he had to say them perfectly or not at all.

For such a careful delivery, the sentence sucked. First, he doesn't apologize, then he makes her sound unhygienic. She'd show him untrimmed nails! She'd rake them down his face!

"I'm an Inuzuka, baka." Hikari gritted her teeth. "We need long nails to do some of our techniques."

He blinked at her, seemingly surprised at her anger. "Oh." He hesitated, then added "I have a salve for them. At home."

"So?"

He looked down again. "After we meet sensei, I can—" his voice broke off, and he almost choked again. "I c-can," he coughed, then finished quickly: "Icanputsomeonyourhandsifyouwant."

There was a pause as the young ninjas tried to figure out exactly what Triyuu had said. The Hikari nodded once, rather stiffly, and thanked him.

--

Dia snorted, unable to control herself. "Hey, Triyuu! Are you actually a snob? Or are you just—"

The rest of her sentenced was cut off as Ryuu's arm hit her in the mouth. "Huh?" He said. "Oh, sorry Dia I was just stretching, and—Ow!"

Sougo blinked once, then reached over and pried Dia's jaws off of Ryuu's hand. "Zii-san, I think that mauling our teammate's arm would be as detrimental to today's health as Inuzuka-san's long nails being imbedded in her palms."

Dia let go of Ryuu so she could yell at Sougo. "Don't tell me what I can and can't do to my best firend, Sougo! And what's with the formalities?"

Sougo was cut off from replying by Ryuu's yelp of "Best friend? After you mauled me? Who the hell do you think you are?"

--

Azelle grinned at the arguing trio, or rather pair—Sougo couldn't seem to get a word in edgewise.

She really loved times like these: loud arguments, funny jokes, people to make fun of and analyze. It really was fun.

Speaking of analyzing…it was interesting to see how Ryuu had cut Dia off before she could finish whatever she'd been about to say to Triyuu. That…was interesting. She'd never thought Shishi Ryuu was capable of tact, especially not when confronted with someone he usually thought of as an enemy.

Azelle looked at her teammates to see what they thought of the confrontation.

Hyuuga Inari was watching the argument rather gleefully, but instead of watching the two most persistent yellers, he was watching Sougo, who now seeming to be wrining something down on a small piece of paper.

The only sign Denkou gave of being aware of the fight was a slight twitching in his abnormally long and pointy ears. The rest of his attention appeared to be focused on a long, wickedly sharp dirk, which he was polishing. He also continued to dart the occasional glance towards Triyuu.

Triyuu. Now there was someone confusing. Azelle had had him down as the quiet, proud type before today. Now she wasn't so sure.

Before she could open her mouth to question Triyuu, two things happened.

First, the door to the classroom slid open, and a tall, bored-looking shinobi slouched into the room.

Second, a loud explosion came from the trio of arguers.

All heads whipped around to look at the source of the noise. Ryuu and Dia were covered with soot, while Sougo looked miraculously clean. His paper was gone.

There was a moment of stunned silence, then the tall shinobi sighed. "How troublesome. I'm Nara Shikamaru. Would team four please follow me?"

Two filthy Gennin, and a cheerfully smiling, pristine ninja followed the slouching-nin, leaving the room in a shocked silence.

Soon, the door slid open again, and a tall, grumpy looking man with bandaged knuckled stalked in, grunted, and snapped, "Team nine, meet in the clearing of training ground eleven in fifteen minutes." He put his hands together and vanished in a haze of…perfume?

Hikari, Triyuu, and Asuma stared at each other in dismay—training ground eleven was on the opposite side of Konoha—and sprinted out of the room.

The room filled back up with sound as the rest of the fresh graduates returned to the room. Several more teams left before the familiar sight of Hinata slid through the door.

"Team eight," her clear voice chimed through the room and instantly claimed silence. "Please follow me."

* * *

Ryuu, Dia, and Sougo looked curiously at the slouching back of their new sensei as they followed him through the streets of Konoha.

Nara-sensei was clearly not thrilled about his duties to be a sensei. It looked as if he'd really be happy lying out on the sun, and doing nothing else.

The three Gennin looked at each other in dismay. Even Sougo looked mildly perplexed. They really didn't think they'd be able to survive if their sensei didn't teach them anything. It would…suck.

Their nervous thoughts were cut short as Nara-sensei entered a ramen stand and sat down, motioning for his Gennin to follow him.

He looked over at them briefly and said, "I'll pay for your first bowl, but after that, you're on your own."

Cowed, Dia and Ryuu ordered the shrimp ramen, while Sougo slowly scanned his menu, and politely requested the Miso special.

After they had finished the delicious ramen, Shikamaru turned to his Gennin and looked them over.

Ryuu and Dia sat close together, shoulders nearly touching, fidgeting slightly. Sougo, sat a little behind them, his wide, innocent eyes fixed on his new sensei's face.

Shikamaru sighed. "It's troublesome, but you we should introduce ourselves. Tell me your names, hobbies, likes, and dislikes. If you have a dream for the future, you can through that in as well. I guess I can go first so you don't make any bothersome mistakes."

"My name is Nara Shikamaru. I don't care what you call me as long as it isn't Shika. I like my wife, family, shougi, and my old teammates. I dislike people who ask too many unnecessary questions. I don't have any hobbies: they're too much work. My dream for the future…is troublesome. I want to find an old friend."

The Gennin stared at him and wondered if this was the most they would ever hear their sensei say ever again. Finally, Sougo glanced at his two teammates and started talking.

"My name is Hijiikata Sougo. I like reading manga, explosions, and practicing swordplay. I hope I will come to like my new teammates. I dislike…I dislike…I'll come back to that. My hobbies are making people uncomfortable. My dream for the future…hn…is to have a dream. And to achieve bankai. I think I dislike anything that threatens what I like."

Dia shook herself and started speaking in a forceful tone. "My name is Zii Dia. I like pranking and Ryuu. And probably Sougo. I dislike arrogant asses. My hobbies are pranking arrogant asses. My dream for the future is to get a certain arrogant ass to lose the stick he has shoved up his butt, preferably through magnificently defeating him."

Ryuu grinned and cut Dia's rant about asses. "My name is Shishi Ryuu. The ladies at the orphanage named me. Shishi for my eyes, Ryuu because I liked playing with fire. I like fire, Dia, and Sougo. And explosions. And a lot of other things. I don't really dislike anyone or anything unless they make me dislike them. My hobbies are studying explosives. My dream for the future is…umm…well. I guess it's to become the world's best pranking and exploding ninja!"

Dia snorted. "Exploding ninja? You'd die!"

"Actually," Sougo said, smiling calmly, "it would be an excellent prank. Making your enemies think you dead through exploding."

Shikamaru sighed once more and cut across the budding discussion of exploding pranks. "It is a good thing you like planning pranks. This team was put together to be a strategy and tactics specialist team. Which is why I am your sensei. I am the Hokage's leading tactician, and I will teach you how to think like me."

He ignored the mutters of awe and continued. "Tomorrow, I will test you on your skills of out-thinking and planning ahead of your enemies. In this case it will be me. You may work together or separately. You have the night to come up with a good plan. Tomorrow morning at seven, you will try to capture me and then hold me for up to ten minutes. Meet at training ground seven. I have reserved it for the night and tomorrow."

He continued, looking intently at his Gennins' faces. "If you impress me, I will keep you as my team. If you do not, I will send you back to the academy." They were obviously surprised, but hid it well. Good. Test One—passed. He looked each one of them in the eye. "Either way, I will evaluate your performance and give you exercises to increase you planning skills. A full night is more than you will usually have to prepare. Be grateful."

He disappeared in a swirl of leaves, leaving his new team in a shocked silence.

* * *

Team nine panted into the clearing of training ground eleven ten seconds shy of fifteen minutes. Hikari and Triyuu would have been there sooner, but Hikari had stayed behind to lend encouragement to Asuma, who simply wasn't built for speed. Triyuu had stayed slightly in front of them and called out directions and things to expect. His voice was considerably more confident with his back turned to them.

They arrived to see their new sensei trying to knock down an old oak tree with his bare fists. And succeeding. He stopped as soon as the Gennins entered the clearing and started re-wrapping his very bloody hands.

"I was going to give you all a test on teamwork, but it seems you already understand that. Good. Tomorrow, I will simply test you all on single combat, then team combat. If you show me something to work with, I will pass you as a team. We will train hard and bypass all D-rank missions. I want to get out of the village as soon as possible, and if I have to do it with Gennins, I'm gonna do it with competent ones."

He spun around and stared at them. "Introduce yourselves!" He was practically barking, Hikari noticed. Was he part Inuzuka?"

"Sensei?" Triyuu looked half terrified. Was he really going to have to talk about him_self_ in front of other people? He couldn't!

Asuma spoke up, staring at his cousin Konohamaru as if he couldn't believe the normally kind man was being so harsh. "Yuuhi Asuma. Son of Yuuhi Kurenai and, and Sarutobi Asuma. I live with Mom because Dad…was defeated by Akatsuki. I like taijutsu and coming up with new genjutsus. I dislike being surprised. My dream for the future is to make my family proud. _All of it._"

Hikari spoke next, slightly surprised. She hadn't realized Asuma's dad was dead. Or that he was a Sarutobi! "I'm Inuzuka Hikari. This is Kitsinu." She patted her red and black partner. "I like sparring and hanging out with Azelle. I dislike dog haters and being caught in the rain. My dream for the future is to beat Kiba nii-san and Akamaru-san in a fair fight."

Tryuu felt like a deer caught in headlights. He couldn't do this. He slowed his breathing and slowly began to speak. "I'm Abino Triyuu. I like knowing exact things. I dis-dislike gigglers and, and," he took another deep breath, "public speaking. My dream is t-to become more socially adept." He finished and took a deep breath, wanting to curl up in a little ball.

"Huh, " said the new sensei. "I didn't have you figured as a shy-boy. Anyway, I'm Sarutobi Konohamaru. I like travelling and finding new information. I dislike being held up by anything, and my dream is to find my first real friend and bring him home."

He glared at his team. "You are being trained to be an assault team. You need to learn how to move quickly, think on your feet, and hit hard. If you impress me, I'll even let you help fulfill my dream. We meet back here at eight. Run five laps around Konoha before you go home. I'll know if you cheat."

With that abrupt introduction, Konohamaru was gone, leaving three rather shell-shocked ninja. They shook the ringing out of their ears and began the long run around their town.

* * *

Hyuuga Hinata sat curled on a bench, allowing the sun to caress her blue-violet hair as she looked over her team.

"Welcome, team eight." She smiled . "My old team was eight, too. We had excellent teamwork. I expect yours to be better."

Her Gennin smiled at her, already relaxed in her soothing presence. "We'll introduce ourselves first, and then I'll explain your evaluation test and the purpose of this team. Tell me your names, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams, or anything else you want to talk about."

She smiled around at her group and continued. "I'm Hyuuga Hinata. I like training with Neji-nii-san and teaching. I dislike being taken for granted or being dismissed for being a soft-spoken kunoichi. My hobbies are flower pressing and studying seals. My dream is to find someone and to let him know he is not alone in this world."

The other pale-eyed person went next. "My name is Hyuuga Inari! I like Hanabi-nee-chan and Hinata-hime-sensei. I dislike the Hyuuga stereotype. My hobbies are sewing and studying anatomy. My dream for the future is to permanently erase all sticks up Hyuuga butts and create a new style of Jyuuken using senbons in correlation with Byakugan."

Hinata smiled at Inari. "Better not to talk about stick in butts in front of other Hyuuga, Inari-kun." He nodded, shamefaced, as she continued. "I can help you with your dream if you wish. I have a friend with deadly aim to help you with senbons, and then I could help you integrate them into your Jyuuken"

Inari restrained himself from dancing as Uzu began to speak. "My name is Denkou Uzu. I like my old tribe. I dislike people who think I am an orphan because my parents are dead. I still have family. My hobbies are swimming and setting up small spy networks. My dream is to find my cousin and introduce him to our tribe."

Hinata stared at Uzu for a moment, then asked gently, "Who is your cousin, Uzu-kun?"

He shrugged. "I don't know the name. All I know is that he was part of the Uzumaki branch of the tribe."

"Uzumaki?" Hinata's soft face was suddenly sharp with longing.

Uzu shrank. Maybe he shouldn't have told Hinata-sensei. "Yes." His voice was barely a whisper.

Hinata stayed tense for a few more seconds, and then relaxed. "I might be able to help you. I…knew…an Uzumaki once. He was-is a dear friend. Talk to me later."

Uzu nodded, very slowly, as Azelle began to speak. "I'm Aburame Azelle. I like insects of all kinds, especially moths and butterflies. I dislike people who think _bugs_ are gross. My dream is to integrated the Aburame contract into different species of insect, so our kikkais more closely match our personalities."

Hinata smiled and nodded. "You already know Shino, so I won't have to help you there."

Azelle grinned and shook her head as Hinata continued. "Iruka has already told you that this will be a tracking and reconnaissance team. I think you're teamwork should be excellent, so I'll be testing you on scenarios tomorrow. If you do well, you will become Gennin for real. If not, you can always try again next year."

She smiled at her team and stood up. "Make sure you get a good night's sleep. We meet tomorrow at 7:30am on training ground twenty-one. Don't be late. Don't be early. Recon depends on exact timing, so I expect you to begin practicing punctuality immediately."

As the rest of her team stood up, Hinata held out a hand to Uzu. "Come, Uzu-kun. I'll walk you home."

* * *

Far away, near the ruins of Uzugakure, a dark figure sped through the woods, swearing occasionally. His friend-his best friend was captured. The how was a little fuzzy. The guy was very nearly invincible, but it had still happened.

The man swore, and summoned a snake to help him go faster. "Dobe wouldn't be in this mess if he'd let me come," he muttered. "He just better not die."

Sasuke sped through the trees, wishing once again that he had a summons that could actually track a scent. Naruto's chakra used to be so _easy _to track before he'd learned to suppress it.

Now there was no trace—none.

The only comfort Sasuke could take from that thought was that it clearly meant the dobe wasn't dead.

After all, dead people left traces.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Once again, I apologize at the delay, not that I link anyone actually noticed, seeing as I have noe reviews.

I know it takes time to review, but it shouldn't take that much time!

I want to hear how you think I'm going to make people find Naruto. I mean, I know how I"ll do it, but you guys might have good ideas too. You never know.

So review and make me eternally happy!

Or at least pretty happy.

Please?


	6. Painful Tests

**Author's note:** Four reviews! Yeah! I mean, I think one of them was technically for a different chapter, but it doesn't matter. I got four reviews! Woohoo! Er…yeah. So, thank you for the reviews all you wonderful people:

**sco33** – Thank you, my loyal reviewer. And yes, those teams will be involved on at least discovering Naruto. They might not bring him home, though. Who knows.

**Rena the pirate jedi wizard** – I'm very glad you like it. And you're right, Konohamaru is a little too angry towards his new Gennin. He's supposed to be. He's a little frigid at the moment. The Gennin must melt his heart. Yes.

**crayontesla** – We might have a large team for that purpose put together later, but I can't see Sasuke dragging Naruto back to Konoha, since neither of them have been there for about twelve years. I don't think I clarified that very well, though. Sorry.

Anyway, thanks for the reviews, feel free to leave more and convince more people to leave them. I throve on them. I did a little dance this afternoon when I read my new ones.

Oh, now my dorm mate's singing the coconut song for arugula. Weird.

**Disclaimer** – I do not, nor will I ever, own Naruto.

* * *

**Last Time**

Sasuke sped through the trees, wishing once again that he had a summons that could actually track a scent. Naruto's chakra used to be so _easy _to track before he'd learned to suppress it.

Now there was no trace—none.

The only comfort Sasuke could take from that thought was that it clearly meant the dobe wasn't dead.

After all, dead people left traces.

* * *

**Team Four**

Shishi Ryuu could barely keep his eyes open. Here he was. It was six 'o clock in the morning, and he had been up all night setting up his traps, more commonly known as pranks.

Now he had one hour left before his final Gennin test, and all he wanted to do was sleep. Would he be allowed to sleep? No!

Instead, Dia had sidled over and grabbed him just as he began to allow his eyelids to droop shut. Now she was hustling him down some street without offering any explanations or apologies.

Ryuu vaguely wondered if he should "accidentally" get Dia caught in one of his traps for Shikamaru-sensei, or just set her hair on fire. She certainly deserved something for this rude treatment.

Ryuu had nearly come up with the perfect plan for revenge when the scent of shrimp ramen reached his nostrils. Seconds later, Dia had shoved him through a curtain and…into Sougo's lap.

Wide, honey-brown eyes blinked down at Ryuu as Sougo tried to figure out why Ryuu thought the ramen wasn't on the counter. His question was answered moments later by Dia's surprised yelp.

"Sorry Ryuu! You don't usually fall so fast. I thought you'd land on a stool!"

Ryuu pushed himself off Sougo, beet-red with humiliation, and growled, "I'm not usually going on zero hours of sleep either."

Sougo blinked again. Ah. That explained it. Ryuu was tired. That…wouldn't do. "Ryuu-san—"

"Ryuu."

Another blink. "Excuse me?"

"Ryuu. Just Ryuu." The boy in question yawned. "I don't like honorifics. They're so—"

"Stiff?" Dia was feeling particularly helpful this morning.

"Mmm-hmm." Ryuu stretched his arms before looking at his bowl of ramen in delight and beginning to scarf it down.

"Ah." Sougo blinked yet again. How odd. "Well then, Ryuu. You do realize that as ninja, we may have to fight on even less rest than we have today? It's unhealthy, but it's a statistical fact that at least once in our careers, we will be attacked and will have to defend instantly on no sleep or food?"

"Yeah." Ryuu finished his bowl and looked up, meeting Sougo's light gaze with his own cat-like eyes. "I've been training my body to fall in a similar way to a different types of pushes. It'll make it easier to fight with partners that way. They'll be able to manipulate my body more easily. Dia's been helping."

He yawned again, seemingly oblivious to Sougo's surprise. "I just haven't built up perfect muscle memory yet. So when my brain's this re-wired, I fall funny." He looked at Sougo again and grinned. "You should help us out. It wouldn't do for just one of my teammates to know my quirks, now. Would it?"

Sougo nodded, gratified, and Dia slammed down her own bowl of shrimp ramen.

"Enough talking about stuff that won't help us today!" She glared at her two teammates. "What have you two set up? I don't want it messing with my traps. If I want to be a better prankster than that ramen guy from a decade back, I can't be messed up this early in the game!"

Ryuu's and Sougo's answers were drowned out in a rather loud crash from behind the counter. Three glanced over almost simultaneously to see the Ayame, the lady ramen-server, sprawled on the ground under several broken bowls.

Ryuu vaulted over the counter to help her while the old man, Teuchi, stared at Dia.

"You want to be a better prankster than Uzumaki _Naruto_?" He cried, voice cracking slightly.

"Is that his name?" Dia ignored his distress, chalking it up to his daughter's current predicament.

Teuchi stared at her for a little while longer, then grinned, shaking his head. "Well, you're in the right place. This was his favorite place to eat."

Dia's eyes lit up. "Really?" Then she frowned. "Was?"

The old man turned from his pot of noodle to look at her. "It used to be. And it will be again." With those mysterious words, he turned away from Dia and stared at his broth, completely absorbed. Ayame went to join him as soon as Ryuu finished pulling the dishes off of her.

Dia was held back from asking any more questions about her pranking idol by Sougo and Ryuu, who began to tell her about their traps in exchange for her information.

Forty five minutes later found them waiting by training ground seven.

"Well." A voice spoke from the shadows. "At least you're punctual. How…troublesome."

The three Gennin shot off on three different directions, ready to put their plan's in motion. The prevalent thought in each one's head was, "Thank Kami I only had one bowl of Ramen."

Their progress was halted by three separate shadows.

* * *

**Team Eight**

Azelle stared at her cousin across the breakfast table. How did he get the eggs, dripping with Tobasco sauce, past the collar of his jacket without exposing his mouth or getting the fabric dirty?

It was crazy!

It should be impossible!

Anyway, what was with the older Aburame generations and not exposing the lower halves of their faces? It wasn't like the kikkais deformed their faces or anything. Okay, there was the occasional bug caught on a tooth, but those were only in extreme battle situations.

Azelle glanced down at her lap when she began feeling a steady dripping sensation on her lap. Sure enough, her own Tobasco laden toast, all but forgotten in her musing over Aburame quirks, was dripping onto her light grey shorts.

Letting out a cry of disgust, then stifling it with a guilty glance towards her expressionless (and somehow smirking at the same time) cousin, Azelle leapt from her chair and ran upstairs to change into an identical pair of shorts, cursing her clan's hereditary addiction to the hot sauce.

Sprinting back downstairs, Azelle had just enough time to grab another piece of Tobasco toast and dashed out the door. Straight into Denkou Uzu.

Azelle watched in dismay as, once again, her breakfast went bye-bye.

Uzu stared at the red-stained toast on the ground, then at the Aburame who was biting her lip, trying not to cry as her beloved Tobasco bread soaked up dust.

He sighed once, grabbed her hand, and dragged her over to the Hyuuga compound, where Inari stood waiting for…them?

"Hey," said the cross-dresser, beaming at the two of them.

Azelle wiped a few tears from her eyes and managed to direct a small smile at the gorgeous, though admittedly strange, Hyuuga. "Hello."

Uzu cleared his throat and shifted weight. I was weird to see a friendly Hyuuga and an emotional Aburame, but the two of them together were just plain unnerving!

'I suppose I'll just have to develop a really nonchalant attitude,' he thought before striding after the two clan anomalies.

They reached training ground twenty one at exactly seven thirty, just as Hinata entered from the other side.

She smiled gently at her assembled team, pleased to see that they had all come together. Then she schooled her expression into a serious gaze. They had to think she was going to be stern.

"Welcome, team." She gazed at each of them, holding gazes until they looked away. Good. They only moved their eyes. No unnecessary movements. "We've had a change in plans. I won't be testing you on scenarios anymore."

She allowed herself a small smile as dismay showed on each face. "This test will be a bit more practical."

* * *

**Team Nine**

Yuuhi Asuma hurt all over. He had thought he was in good shape. But those five laps around Konoha had thoroughly trashed him.

He risked a glance at his other teammates and sighed. Triyuu looked just as stoic and put together as always, although he did seem to be limping slightly. Hikari was…Hikari. She was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

She saw him watching her and grinned, flashing a peace sign. "I run four laps around the village every morning with Azelle. We put it off today for team things and so I would be ready for Konohamaru-sensei's test."

Triyuu glanced over at her, opened his mouth, and then shut it just as rapidly.

Hikari caught his indecisiveness and grinned. "Hey, shy-boy, monkey-boy, do you guys wanna join me tomorrow? Do a little team training before Konohamaru-sensei beats the shit out of us?"

Asuma grinned. "Gee, dog-girl, I don't know. Sure you can keep up with me and Triyuu here?" It was a little rich, coming from the most exhausted Nin of the bunch, but Hikari appreciated the joke anyway.

They nearly missed Triyuu's whisper: "What if we don't pass? We wouldn't be a team anymore."

Hikari glanced over at Triyuu and frowned. "We'll use teamwork. You know." She mimed boxing an invisible opponent, then twirled to she was walking backwards and facing her teammates. "Use our skills to make each other look good!"

"Isn't that cheating?" Triyuu blinked. Hikari was so easy to talk to!

"No!" Hikari waved her hands defensively. "It's, it's," she looked wildly around as if hoping to pull the correct answer from the air. "Teamwork! Yeah, 'cause we're helping each other. Konohamaru-sensei already said he likes teamwork, so let's use it!" She pumped her fist in the air and grinned at her comrades.

Asuma and Triyuu stared at their excitable teammate for a few seconds, and then broke into happy grins.

Hikari smiled right back, and skipped backed between her new friends, linking her arms around theirs.

They entered training ground eleven together, a few minutes before eight. Asuma and Hikari proceeded to stretch while Triyuu watched them, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet.

It was in this state of camaraderie that Konohamaru found them. He stayed in the shadows for a few more minutes, watching his team, a reluctant smile gracing features that hadn't truly grinned for well over a decade. If this team showed that they had the potential to become formidable fighters, he would have to pass them.

Naruto-nii-san would never forgive him if he didn't give this team a chance.

He shook himself and stepped out of the shadows, noting the surprised looks on his students' faces. He would have to start teaching them sense chakra.

If they passed.

* * *

**Team Eight**

Inari, Azelle, and Uzu all stared at their sensei. Finally, Azelle cleared her throat and voiced the question the three of them were thinking.

"What exactly do you mean by _practical_, sensei?"

Hinata beamed at her team. "I want you to go spy on the other two teams."

They stared at her, not understanding. So she continued: "Team four is on training ground seven. Shikamaru-kun is testing their thinking and fighting abilities by getting them to trap him. Team nine is on training ground eleven. Konohamaru-kun is sparring with them. Go watch their tests. Bring back as much information as you can. I shouldn't have to say this, but this means I want you to wait to come back until their tests are finished."

She looked them over. "Consider yourselves lucky that I've told you where they are and what they're doing. They rest is up to you."

They turned to run and she called out after them. "Don't get caught! Especially not by your old classmates!"

They waved once in understanding, then split up. Azelle raced by herself towards training ground eleven, while Uzu and Inari hurried towards Team four's testing grounds.

Hinata prevented herself from doing a celebratory dance. They had made excellent choices.

* * *

**Team Four**

Azelle panted as she raced for the tree line. Just a few more steps and she'd have her sensei where she wanted him. She pushed aside the nagging doubt that her sensei had been playing them ever since he'd delayed them for a full half-hour.

She continued on her way… and found herself wrapped in a wire trap, completely unable to move her arms away from her body.

"Damn it, Ryuu!" She yelled, thrashing her body against the bonds that held her. "You didn't tell me about this one!"

Ryuu's voice sounded indignantly from the trees, "It would've been perfect if you hadn't set it off, you clumsy idiot! Oh, shit."

Shikamaru grinned, "Well," he said, "now that you're all tied up, I suppose I should go teach the loudmouth a lesson."

Dia struggled against her bonds, "Don't you leave me here like this, Sensei! I'll make you pay for leaving me here, damn it! Sensei!"

Shikamaru spared her a brief wave, then sped off towards the sound of Ryuu's voice. There was a thud, then a whelp.

Dia ignored them; she was too busy pulling the last strands of wire off herself, smiling at Sougo. He gave her a polite nod, and they circled around the clearing they had designated as their final showdown.

Meanwhile, Ryuu watched as Shikamaru-sensei looked for him. The subtle genjutsus he had cast placed his voice several yards away from where the boy himself was.

'_C'mon_,' he thought. '_Just a few more inches to the right_.'

Shikamaru took one more step, and the ground, carefully softened courtesy of Sougo, gave way beneath him.

That moment of lack of balance was all Ryuu needed. Kunai laden with explosive notes flew towards his Sensei. They weren't very strong, so Ryuu had no fear of killing the brilliant man.

They did serve their purpose in temporarily blinding, deafening, and numbing him, though, and Dia's wires snaked around him, pulling tight in a similar fashion to the wires that had caught her just minutes ago.

Shikamaru regained his senses to find himself tied to a tree, his three students smirking in front of him.

He sighed. "How long have you had me for?"

The three looked at each other. "Five minutes?" Ryuu guessed.

"Eight," Sougo replied.

Shikamaru smirked. "Too bad." He promptly sent a pulse of chakra through his bonds, expecting them to loosen and fall to the ground. They didn't.

Dia smirked, "Chakra-type wires, Sensei. Our family makes them. Only react to the chakra of the person who forges them."

Shikamaru stared at her. "Ah. Well, in that case…" He slit the wires that held him. "You pass. How troublesome."

They stared at him. "But," Ryuu looked ready to cry. "You got free."

Shikamaru shrugged. "You won't be able to truly hold me for that long until I've put some serious training into you. After all, you only managed to hold me for two minutes." He smiled at the shock on Sougo's and Ryuu's faces. "It was a good lie, but I could still tell it was a lie."

They nodded and looked down. Shikamaru considered them. "Your teamwork is good, but I want it better. I don't want you to plan on the same wavelength. I want you to think on the same wavelength. From now on, you eat together, sleep together, train together, shop together. You will spend hours tied to each other. It will be a drag, but you will be a seamless team by the time I'm through with you."

He looked them over, then glanced at the trees right behind them. "Get a move on. It's time to eat."

* * *

**Uzu and Inari**

They blew a sigh of relief through their nostrils as team four left to get lunch.

"I almost thought they had us," whispered Uzu.

Inari frowned after the group. "I'm not sure if they didn't. Let's go see if Azelle's gathered her intel."

Uzu frowned at Inari, then nodded. They disappeared just as Shikamaru popped up behind them. Or behind the branches that had just replaced them.

He shook his head. "It takes a lot of control to complete such a good **kawarimi**. How troublesome."

* * *

**Team Nine**

Asuma gasped for breath as he charged once more towards his older cousin. He was the last person who needed to hit the man. Hikari had managed to graze him with a **Tsuuga** and Triyuu had caught the man's shoulder right after, taking advantage of their Sensei's momentary surprise.

Konohamaru had promptly told them to sit out, and now Asuma was on his own to catch his cousin off guard.

Sure, Hikari was cheering him on, and Triyuu had caught him once when a particularly vicious punch form Konohamaru had nearly sent him into a tree, but the plans the three had made were rendered pretty much useless by their Sensei's reward for landing a hit.

Now, as he charged forward, he saw pity flash into his cousin's eyes, and it infuriated him. He clamped down on his muscles and shot forward at a nearly doubled speed.

Surprise replaced the pity in Konohamaru's eyes, but only for a second. In the next second, his cousin took the first serious stance Asuma had seen all day. It didn't matter. Asuma would land one punch even if it killed him.

Then he tripped.

Off-balance, he shot past Konohamaru's guard and straight for the ground. A swift, desperate thought caused him to lash out with his left fist, catching his Sensei on the calf.

Konohamaru stared at his cousin. That was surprising. But…he landed a punch. "You pass."

"No." Asuma was standing up, wiping mud and blood off his face. "That wasn't a real hit. I want to do it right."

Konohamaru stared at his cousin for a few more minutes, then slowly shook his head. "You hit me when you might not have. You refused to give up. You still refuse to give up. That proves to me that you have a great deal of potential. Therefore, you pass. You all pass."

He faced them all. "Tomorrow, you will be meeting with special trainers to help improve your taijutsu styles. Triyuu, you will meet Rock Lee to study the Iron Fist style. Figure out how to incorporate your family jutsus on your own time.

He turned to the kunoichi-dog pair." Hikari and Kitsinu, I'm sending you to Haruno Sakura. I'm curious to see what that strength will do in combination with the **Tsuuga**, and you're the first Inuzuka with the control to pull it off. It'll help to have someone with medic training on an assault team anyway."

His gaze fell on his exhausted cousin. "Asuma, it's about time I started taking responsibility as your cousin. Tomorrow, you start to learn the Sarutobi Monkey Fist style. And I'll have you sign the summoning contract for Monkeys."

He looked at all of his team. "I expect you to work hard for me so we can start our C-rank missions soon. If you want to take D-ranks, do it on your own time as a team, and don't expect help from me. They might be good for teamwork. You have the rest of the day off. Run one lap around the village tonight and another four tomorrow morning. Expect the number to go up."

He walked away, with a brief wave and a reminder to meet here at eight the next day. Suddenly, he turned, yanking out a kunai and facing the tree line.

"Sarutobi-san!" He turned. A young Hyuuga and some other kid were staring at him. The Hyuuga was the one who'd spoken.

"What?" He snapped, turning back to look at the trees. The presence he'd sensed was gone. He turned back and frowned. When had the girl shown up?

"Geez, guys," Azelle panted. "You could've waited for me." She looked up and smiled. Konohamaru shuddered. That was an Aburame smiling at him. It was creepy!

"Sarutobi-san," the Hyuuga continued. "Hinata-sensei was wondering if you could help Uzu and Azelle with taijutsu while we worked on my Jyuuken. She says she'll help you're team with genjutsu stuff in return."

Konohamaru stared at him, looking for a trick. "I'll think about it," he said at last, before turning for the trees for one last look.

Sensing nothing but a faint smugness from the Aburame girl, he quickly left the six Gennin.

Azelle waved at Hikari, and team eight faded away, leaving team nine to begin their lap around Konoha.

* * *

**Team Eight**

"That was quick thinking," Hinata said with a nod. "Although I was planning on finding you two taijutsu trainers anyway. Maybe I'll clarify it to Konohamaru and say that what I really wanted was a mass taijutsu training period."

"That would be nice, Sensei," Azelle said respectfully.

Hinata smiled at the three. "Well, you three pass. Take these coupons for Ichiraku's and enjoy the meal. I hear Teuchi makes a mean Tobasco-enhanced broth."

Azelle's eyes lit up. She grabbed the ramen coupons and her teammates in less than a second and promptly began dragging them towards the ramen stand, yelling thanks behind her.

Hinata smiled and shook her head. "Now I get to find out just how noticeable they were. I hope Shikamaru-kun and Konohamaru-kun aren't offended by my not asking them if my team could spy on theirs."

* * *

**Sasuke**

The facility was massive, but the snakes had told him that they could detect a faint hint of toad and fox from the interior.

He shook his head with a frustrated growl. This was all wrong! The people patrolling outside the facility were so weak! There was no way Naruto could actually have been captured by these wimps!

Unless…

His red eyes widened as a new thought occurred to him.

Had Naruto gotten kidnapped on _purpose_?

"Dobe," he snarled, "when you get out of there, you better explain fast before I kill you myself."

--

Deep in the bowels of a truly nasty torture facility. Uzumaki Naruto sneezed once and sank into a meditative state. Ignoring the whiplashes on his back that already bubble with an ominous red chakra.

'_Stupid teme_," he thought. "_I hope he got my note before he came haring out here to rescue me_."

* * *

**Author's note:** Well, that was fun. I hope you thought so too. A great way for you to let me know is to review, so click that little blue button.

Thank you!


	7. Crazy Plans

**Author's note:** Hello all! Even if 'all' doesn't seem to be very many. Sigh. Well, it's time for yet another update from yours truly: **shadowinRW**. Hope you like it!

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, I still don't own Naruto.

* * *

**Last Time**

_Had Naruto gotten kidnapped on purpose?_

"_Dobe," he snarled, "when you get out of there, you better explain fast before I kill you myself."_

_Deep in the bowels of a truly nasty torture facility. Uzumaki Naruto sneezed once and sank into a meditative state, ignoring the whiplashes on his back that already bubble with an ominous red chakra._

'Stupid teme,'_ he thought. _'I hope he got my note before he came haring out here to rescue me.'

* * *

**Sasuke**

He twitched.

The squirrel twitched.

He bared his teeth.

The squirrel chattered.

He blew a **Katon Goukakyuu** at the evil little rodent.

The squirrel dodged and threw an acorn. It bounced of the enraged (and extremely bored) Uchiha's head.

Letting out an enraged shout, Sasuke leapt to his feet and charged after the gleeful squirrel. It sprang into the air, spring-boarded off the S-rank nuke-nin's shoulder, and shot into the dense foliage of the surrounding trees.

Sasuke, in an attempt to quickly change directions, flipped in midair, cushioning his descent to the ground with chakra so he could push off the ground as soon as his feet made contact.

Unfortunately, he failed to notice the many acorns lying in wait, so when his foot came in contact with the nut-strewn earth, Sasuke's foot slid out from under him and he ended up staring at the sky, glad that no one had witnessed his embarrassing defeat at the hand (or paws) of a rodent.

"You know, I'm half tempted to contact the countries that have you in their bingo books and tell them that your main weakness lies in small rodents. First the weasel, now a squirrel. What'll it be next? A possum?"

Or not.

Sasuke slowly turned his head to glare at the grinning blonde. "I thought you were in prison."

"Oh yeah." The incorrigible kyuubi-vessel grinned. "I still am."

Sasuke stared at him for a few minutes, his eyes turning red for a few seconds. Then he huffed and looked away. "Your **Kage Bunshins** are getting pretty damn good. I couldn't tell the difference with my **sharingan**."

"Really?" The ball of sun grinned. "Yatta!"

Sasuke stood and stalked over to the clone, promptly bonking it on the head. "You stupid idiot!" He hissed. "How the _hell_ did you get yourself caught?"

The clone frowned and rubbed his head. "You're lucky we don't dispel after one hit anymore. That hurt."

"Dobe," Sasuke was growling now. Killer intent radiated from his form with a deadly precision that would have made a hardened Kage shiver a little.

The Naruto **Bunshin** simply rolled its eyes.

"You know, someone might decide to investigate that angry little aura of yours if you keep that up. And then my plan would be shot to pieces."

"_Plan!?_"

The clone winced. This was not good!

"You _planned_ to get captured on purpose? What the hell? What's wrong with you? Why the _hell _would you want to get captured by a bunch of idiots?"

The clone tilted his head to one side. The Uchiha was turning an interesting shade of puce. It was sweet that he was so obviously worried about his friend, but really, that color purple wouldn't be healthy on _Orochimaru_, let alone someone with as pale a complexion as Sasuke's.

The enraged man continued: "And you have the nerve to come up to me and tease me about squirrels?" I should tell all the countries that have _you_ in their bingo book that you have a bullheaded tendency to ignore common sense and rush into bad situations with stupid plans only halfway formed in your tiny little head!"

He glared at the clone and added one more angry barb to his Sakura-worthy tirade. "And you didn't even warn me. I could have been researching the Old Akatsuki's weapon plans. But noooo, you have to get captured and make me worried about you."

At this point, the clone felt put upon to interrupt, if only to keep at least some of the blood vessels in the Uchiha's face from bursting completely. "I left a note."

Sasuke choked on the breath of air he was inhaling. The clone obligingly patted him on the back. "He glared at it and swatted the helping hand away. "A note?"

"Yeah." The clone nodded and closed his eyes, clearly preparing himself to recite something from memory.

_Teme, I really hope you get this before you go all Uchiha and noble on me. I think I've found some of Pain's old notes on getting the weapon to work. Or how to stabilize it. If we can find that kind of information, we won't have to keep a constant watch over it. _

_I want to go back to Konoha as much as you do. Okay, probably more. So please trust me on this. This base has a lot of seal work on its perimeter, but seals of this caliber can only be made by a seal master like you or me. _

_So, I doubt that they have these kinds of seals on the inside, and I've always been pretty good at escaping. It's the whole subtle entrance thing that I have issues with. Maybe that Anko chick and I should start a club when we get back to Konoha._

_Anyway, I could deactivate the outer boundary seals, but it would take too long and attract too much notice. I could also do the whole infiltration thing, but I honestly don't feel like bowing and scraping to some idiot who thinks he's a capable shinobi._

_That leaves option C: get brought in, AKA get caught. I've always had a high pain tolerance, and Kyuubi-baka will heal any bad injuries, so I can sit in the dungeon for a while while they 'question' me until I figure out the continuation of my plan. _

_Anyway, finish your research; let Suigetsu, Juugo, and Karin know what we're up to, and come over to the compound so we can make sure my escape with the info goes smoothly. Once you get there, contact one of my __**Kage Bunshins**__. We've perfected the whole communication without dispelling, so we can formulate a plan pretty easily._

_Good luck! I really hope you get this in paper form instead of from a clone, but you can't argue with fate. Haha! I sound like Neji!_

_Anyway, see you soon…ish. With any luck, we should be returning to Konoha (at least to report we're still alive, kicking and loyal) within the year._

_Naruto…Dattebayo!_

The clone finished his recitation to see the Uchiha twitching again. Wisely, it decided to leave the enrage Sasuke alone while the still slightly purple man summoned a snake to relay Naruto's news to his subordinates.

They could plan how to finish demolishing the Old Akatsuki's plans later.

After Sasuke destroyed a couple trees.

* * *

**Inside the Compound**

Naruto Uzumaki finally finished melting his chakra-resistant shackles and stood, relieved that his captors hadn't realized he was a Jinchuuriki. Having Kyuubi-baka's chakra sealed off would've sucked—he might've actually needed Sasuke-teme's help for more than just making a clean getaway.

Whistling cheerfully, Naruto created a very resilient clone to take his place before re-solidifying the chains around the unfortunate **bunshin's **wrists and ankles.

Then he skipped off, utilizing an old move that Ero-sennin used to use when he was spying on naked ladies. He grinned. Finally, the technique would be used for something that could actually count as _real_ research.

Sliding into the first office he could find, Naruto grinned and rubbed his hands together, beaming at the filing cabinets.

He hit the jackpot almost right away. Well, kind of. He found nothing about Akatsuki, but he did find something about Konoha.

'_Sweet_,' he thought. '_I could use an update. Better take this to show Sasuke-teme, too_.'

He flipped through the small book, smiling at old names and frowning at the absence of some others. Where the hell were Moegi and Udon?

When he reached the back of the book, Naruto's eyes nearly bugged out. Quickly, he began to scan the next few pages.

**NEW GENNIN TEAMS**

**Team Four:**

**Jounin-sensei:** Nara Shikamaru

**Three-man team:** Hijiikata Sougo, Shishi Ryuu, Zii Dia

**Speciality:** Strategy and Tactics

**Team Breakdowns:**

_** Nara Shikamaru:**_

_Alias:_ Death Shadow

_Taijutsu: _Unknown, suspect low-jounin

_Ninjutsu:_ Mid-jounin

_Genjutsu:_ High-jounin detection and dispersion, mid-chuunin casting

_Kenjutsu:_ N/A

_Speciality:_ Family shadow ninjutsus. Can bind and kill opponent simply with a sliver of shadow.

_Rank:_ Jounin

_Title:_ Personal Strategical Advisor to Godaime Hokage

_Other Warnings:_ Genius. Has an IQ of over 200.

_Advice: _Do not engage! Attempt negotiation. If failed, flee.

_** Hijiikata Sougo:**_

_Alias:_ N/A

_Taijutsu:_ Low-Chuunin

_Ninjutsu: _High-Gennin

_Genjutsu:_ High-Chuunin

_Kenjutsu:_ Unknown. Uses two blades. Suspect high-chuunin to low-jounin

_Speciality:_ Kenjutsu in correlation with taijutsu. Extremely proficient.

_Rank:_ Gennin

_Taijutsu Instuctor:_ Hatake Kakashi

_Other Warnings:_ Rookie-of-the-year. Extremely sadistic and clever. Considered genius of deception. Uses gentsu occasionally instead of his taijutsu. Nightmarish illusions.

_Advice:_ Engage with group of at least two Chuunin

_** Shishi Ryuu:**_

_Alias:_ N/A

_Taijutsu:_ Low-Gennin

_Ninjutsu:_ Low-Gennin

_Genjutsu:_ Low-Gennin

_Kenjutsu:_ N/A

_Speciality: _Fire jutsus and explosive tags, traps, stealth.

_Rank:_ Gennin

_Taijutsu Instuctor:_ Mitarashi Anko

_Other Warnings:_ Skill ratings are unsure, suspect deception in order to be placed on team with friend. Extremely proficient with use and scripture of explosive tags. Traps are very good, especially when working with Gennin Zii Dia.

_Advice:_ Engage with one Chuunin

_** Zii Dia:**_

_Alias: _N/A

_Taijutsu: _Mid-Gennin

_Ninjutsu: _Mid-Gennin

_Genjutsu: _Mid-Gennin

_Kenjutsu:_ N/A

_Speciality:_ Family wires. Only react to chakra of the forger. Has mastered the forging, can use the wires. Proficient trap layout.

_Rank:_ Gennin

_Taijutsu Instuctor:_ Suzuku Tenten

_Other Warnings:_ Extremely dangerous when working with Shishi Ryuu. Plans to exceed nuke-nin Uzumaki Naruto as prank-master of Konoha. Potential to reach that goal with help from the original. Have hopes that the two will never come in contact.

_Advice:_ Engage with chuunin and Gennin pair.

--

Naruto took a few moments to absorb this new information. He wasn't sure which was more amazing: Shikamaru had gotten off his ass long enough to be made Jounin? Shikamaru had accepted an official title? Shikamaru took on a Gennin team?

Someone wanted to be a better prankster than the Uzumaki Naruto? Number one unpredictable ninja?

'_Oh hell no_,' he thought. '_We are having a prank war as soon as I get back_.'

Naruto bounced on the balls of his feet in excitement, and then busied himself in reading about the next new team.

--

**Team Eight:**

**Jounin-sensei:** Hyuuga Hinata

**Three-man team:** Aburame Azelle, Denkou Uzu, Hyuuga Inari

**Speciality:** Tracking and Intelligence

**Team Breakdowns:**

_** Hyuuga Hinata:**_

_Alias: _Angel of Konoha

_Taijutsu:_ Unknown

_Ninjutsu: _Unknown

_Genjutsu:_ Unknown

_Kenjutsu:_ Unknown

_Speciality:_ Family style Jyuuken mixed in with her own variation of different taijutsus and water ninjutsus.

_Rank:_ Jounin

_Title:_ Clan heir to the Hyuuga's Byakugan

_Other Warnings:_ Fighting style extremely unpredictable and deadly. Resembles a dance. Have not seen her fight for over eight years. Wears poisoned spikes in a long braid. Suspect developed immunity to said poison. Some skill in healing.

_Advice:_ Possiblity to intimidate. Battle status unknown.

_** Aburame Azelle:**_

_Alias:_ N/A

_Taijutsu: _Mid-Gennin

_Ninjutsu:_ Low-Gennin

_Genjutsu:_ Low-Gennin

_Kenjutsu: _N/A

_Speciality:_ Aburame kikkai techniques.

_Rank:_ Gennin

_Taijutsu Instuctor:_ Aburame Shino

_Other Warnings:_ Unlike most Aburames, Azelle is capable of using any insect as a kikkai. Is becoming proficient in the praying mantis taijutsu style.

_Advice:_ Do not engage in forests unless accompanied by proficient **katon** and **suiton** users.

_** Denkou Uzu:**_

_Alias:_ N/A

_Taijutsu:_ High-Gennin

_Ninjutsu:_ Low Gennin

_Genjutsu: _Low-Gennin

_Kenjutsu:_ N/A

_Speciality:_ Uses **suiton **jutsus in combination with taijutsu

_Rank:_ Gennin

_Taijutsu Instuctor:_ Genma Hayate and Hatake Shizune

_Other Warnings:_ Suspect he may be hiding some skills. Learning Senbon use and medical jutsu. Comes from the Tribe of the Flowing Waters, unsure which clan mother belonged to. Possible relation to Uzumaki Naruto.

_Advice:_ Engage with intent to capture for leverage over Kyuubi Jinchuuriki.

_** Hyuuga Inari:**_

_Alias:_ N/A

_Taijutsu:_ Jyuuken. Low-Chuunin

_Ninjutsu:_ Mid-Gennin

_Genjutsu:_ High-Gennin

_Kenjutsu:_ N/A

_Speciality:_ Jyuuken. Unmastered. Working on a new form. If he completes it, he will be known as the fourth Hyuuga genius.

_Rank:_ Gennin

_Taijutsu Instuctor:_ Hyuuga Hinata and Hyuuga Neji

_Other Warnings:_ Is a little strange for a Hyuuga. Cross-dresses.

_Advice:_ If engaged, do not attempt conversation. He will melt your brain.

--

Naruto choked as he read the description of Team eight. A Hyuuga cross-dresser? That was just…wrong.

He smiled in approval at Hinata's profile. She'd become so strong. And so pretty. His head cocked to one side as he regarded the soft, yet strong, features of the Hyuuga heiress.

'_Holy Shit! She's prettier than Sakura-chan!_'

He then noticed Shizune's new last name. Kakshi-sensei had gotten married? Did he still read _Icha Icha_? Did SHizune read it with him?

He shook his head at this disturbing thought and frowned at the profile of one Denkou Uzu. '_I have a, a, relative? Who's from a tribe? So I have a tribe!_'

He contemplated dancing in glee at the possibility of having a large family (he'd always envied the Inuzukas), but stopped when he remembered the advice on Uzu's profile. _Capture for leverage._

'_That's…off_,' he thought. '_These profiles have way too many details about Gennin to not be from Konoha, but the purpose of this book seems to be to help this group to fight our village. Where did they get this book?_'

Naruto looked over at the drawer where he had found the book and noticed that he had disturbed a few more papers when he had removed the book. Making a mental note to check the drawer for evidence of a spy—or even a traitor—in Konoha, Naruto returned to look at the last team.

--

**Team Four:**

**Jounin-sensei:** Sarutobi Konohamaru

**Three-man team:** Abino Triyuu, Inuzuka Hikari, Yuuhi Asuma

**Speciality:** Pursuit and Combat

**Team Breakdowns:**

_** Sarutobi Konohamaru:**_

_Alias:_ Vulpine Avenger

_Taijutsu:_ High-Jounin

_Ninjutsu:_ Low-Kage

_Genjutsu:_ High-Jounin

_Kenjutsu:_ High-Jounin

_Speciality:_ Inheritor of the Monkey fist taijutsu style. Has summoning contract with the monkeys. Occasional use of perverted jutsus.

_Rank:_ Jounin

_Title:_ Honorable Grandson to Sandaime Hokage

_Other Warnings:_ Will do anything to find and help Jinchuuriki Uzumaki Naruto. Possible Hokage successor.

_Advice:_ Flee on sight.

_** Abino Triyuu:**_

_Alias:_ N/A

_Taijutsu:_ High-Gennin

_Ninjutsu:_ High-Gennin

_Genjutsu:_ High-Gennin

_Kenjutsu:_ N/A

_Speciality:_ Exceptional combination of **doton** jutsu with very solid taijutsu.

_Rank:_ Gennin

_Taijutsu Instuctor:_ Rock Lee

_Other Warnings:_ Near rookie-of-the-year. Is either incredibly shy or incredibly arrogant. Do not mistake shyness for insecurity.

_Advice:_ Engage only with lightening user or Jounin

_** Inuzuka Hikari:**_

_Alias:_ N/A

_Taijutsu:_ High-Gennin

_Ninjutsu:_ Mid-Gennin

_Genjutsu:_ Mid-Gennin

_Kenjutsu:_ N/A

_Speciality:_ Combination of family taijutsuu and ninjutsu with chakra enhanced strength

_Rank:_ Gennin

_Taijutsu Instuctor:_ Haruno Sakura and Inuzuka Kiba

_Other Warnings:_ Combination of Inuzuka techniques and strength devastating. Learning medical jutsu. Extremely good chakra control. Fox-like nin-dog.

_Advice:_ Do not make her angry.

_** Yuuhi Asuma:**_

_Alias:_ N/A

_Taijutsu:_ Mid-Gennin

_Ninjutsu:_ Mid-Gennin

_Genjutsu:_ High-Gennin

_Kenjutsu:_ N/A, has begun learning

_Speciality:_ Creative genjutsu in combination with some taijutsu.

_Rank:_ Gennin

_Taijutsu Instuctor:_ Sarutobi Konohamaru.

_Other Warnings:_ Is other inheritor to monkey contract and taijutsu style. Son of Konoha's genjutsu mistress, Yuuhi Kurenai.

_Advice:_ Engage with chuunin present

--

Naruto, once again was shocked. Konohamaru was looking for him that hard? And he still hadn't found him? An Inuzuka with the potential for Sakura-chan's strength? Creepy.

Moving over to the cabinet, he sorted through the papers he had found with the Bingo Book crossbreed. He quickly found what he was looking for: a letter signed by...

"Danzo," he cursed. This would be a problem. Danzo was very determined to, to…

Suddenly, Naruto's scowl turned into a delighted smile. He had the power to get rid of one of Tsunade baa-chan's greatest enemies! Ha!

Delighted, Naruto plopped down on the floor, and quickly copied Danzo's letter, intending to leave the copy where he found it. Then he stared at the book, trying to decide what to do with it.

It really did have too much information about Konoha-nin in it. And he wanted to keep it as evidence. Well, a memento. But it would work as evidence too!

The only problem was, if he stole it, anybody who survived his escape would know that he had found the evidence against Konoha. What to do?

Letting out a slight groan, Naruto began copying the entire book. Well, not entirely copying. He got rid of some information and added some false information, taking care to make sure that all of the new Gennin would be completely underestimated.

Leaving one ear cocked in order to hear any approaching footsteps, Naruto contacted his clone to let it and Sasuke know that this impromptu mission might last a little longer than he had originally thought. He wanted to know exactly what was going on in here.

* * *

**Author's note: **Bleh, sorry about the incredibly long profiles. I know they might have seemed boring, but nine OC's can be kind of hard to keep track of.

And in case any of you think Sasuke's a little OOC, he doesn't usually talk (or yell) as much as he did in this chapter. He's just incredibly pissed.

And yes: I plan to make sure he keeps being defeated by little rodents. It amuses me.

**Question:** Do you want me to write profiles for some of my characters? I'd do one per chapter, but I really want to get at least Naruto and Sasuke in there. Only problem is, I don't want to do it if you guys don't want to read them.

So let me know!


	8. Oh hell no

**Author's Note:** Meh, I don't really have anything to say, but I wanted to put in a note. So, Hi! Enjoy the new chapter and then make me the happiest writer alive with a review! Yes please.

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Naruto. Will work on it.

* * *

**Last Time**

_The only problem was, if he stole it, anybody who survived his escape would know that he had found the evidence against Konoha. What to do?_

_Letting out a slight groan, Naruto began copying the entire book. Well, not entirely copying. He got rid of some information and added some false information, taking care to make sure that all of the new Gennin would be completely underestimated._

_Leaving one ear cocked in order to hear any approaching footsteps, Naruto contacted his clone to let it and Sasuke know that this impromptu mission might last a little longer than he had originally thought. He wanted to know exactly what was going on in here._

* * *

**Hokage Tower**

Tsunade stared at the nine assembled Gennin and their respective Jounin-senseis. Light glanced off their beady little eyes and made her head pound.

Damn hangovers.

Damn beady eyes.

Damn missions.

Konohamaru's team had just checked in for their first mission, and the amount of training they'd done made them eligible for a C-rank, not to mention the D-ranks they had done on their spare time.

If Tsunade didn't know any better, she'd check the ramen the Gennin devoured daily (it had become a regular meeting place for them) and see if Teuchi was drugging them to be upstanding citizens. Who willingly does D-rank missions?

Tsunade's eyes flicked towards Shikamaru's team and grimaced. Here was incontrovertible proof that the Gennin were not being drugged. Sougo, Ryuu, and Dia enjoyed tormenting everyone and everything too much to be considered passively drugged.

On the plus side, their antics had permanently traumatized that damn cat. It hadn't even attempted escape for over five months now.

The team was perfectly in sync with one another. They moved, breathed, fell asleep, woke up, snored, thought and tormented in perfect harmony.

It was horrifyingly beautiful teamwork.

And they were ready for a C-rank mission.

So was Hinata's team, another group of Gennin with teamwork to die for. And they were better behaved. Well, they passively terrorized the community instead of actively. That Hyuuga-Aburame pair was enough to make most people cringe away in shock.

Tsunade sat glaring at three of the most perfect teams she could ever ask for. She had a hangover and five huge stacks of paperwork. She had a pet pig and really bad luck. She had a shitload of missions.

Just no C-rank missions.

And she had nine, no, _twelve_, ninjas who would cheerfully and easily make her life a living hell if she even uttered a 'd-' sound.

Shit.

Frantically, she shifted through her mission piles, hoping against hope that three random C-ranks would magically appear.

They did not.

Instead, a B-rank mission that could easily take three Gennin teams appeared. A smile formed on Tsunade's pink lips as she gave herself a gleeful pat on the back.

These teams deserved good missions, and there was a tradition for permanent teams given a B-rank mission that she would love to apply to these teams.

Not to mention that she had no idea who else she could put on a mission that needed to be done ASAP.

Smiling, she looked back up at the teams. "I've found a mission. B-rank, so a little harder and more dangerous than you might have been expecting. Go back to you homes and stock up for a B-rank instead of a C. Hell, better make it an A, just in case. I'll iron out the details and get you individual mission paperwork. Be back in two hours, and be ready to go."

They stared at her for a second. Then, as one, the Gennin bolted out the door, Dia yelling for them to meet at Ichiraku's in an hour.

The Jounins stayed, fixing worried glares on their Hokage, who simply smiled at them and flapped her hands.

They glanced each other and strolled out the room, mentally listing weapons and tools they might need to get and deciding how long they needed to take before they could meet their teams for ramen.

* * *

**Sasuke**

"How much _longer_ is your idiot of a creator going to take?"

The blonde clone grinned and scratched his head. "Eh…it should only be a couple more hours now. He's found everything he needs, and now he's laying seals."

"Good," Sasuke grunted, turning his head away from the blonde and glaring at the compound. "What does he need me to do?

"Well," the clone hesitated, wondering just how pissed the Uchiha would be. "He needs you to use your fire jutsu to set off the explosive seals he's placing. He says yours are better than his, and the hellfire Kyuubi taught him to use won't work on human seals."

Sasuke fought the urge to stab the clone in his annoying, cheerful eye. "He wanted me to sit around for a week so I could throw a couple _fireballs_?"

Scratch stabbing the eye, he'd skin the damn thing alive and see just how much abuse Naruto's improved clones could put up with.

"Not just fireballs! The clone waved his hand in front of his face. "The boss says he's a wind and water master, and you're a fire and lightning master."

Okay, if the dratted clone was going to compliment him like this, he could just go with stabbing the eye.

The clone continued, seeing the black mood Sasuke was in lightening to a dark grey. "You know how the boss can just use his chakra to manipulate his elements? You should be able to do exactly the same thing with yours!"

Sasuke's mood lightened even further until he remembered that Naruto's mastered elements could kick his elements' asses. Damn.

The clone's eyes widened and he backed up as fast as he could. "So, anyway, I'll let you know when the boss is about to make his move. Oh! And he would appreciate it if you covered his retreat."

And with that, the clone was gone, leaving Sasuke with a powerful need for blood. And the only thing around was a…a…chipmunk.

Sasuke glared.

The chipmunk stuffed a peanut into it cheek.

Sasuke huffed and turned his back on the creature.

No way in hell was he going to fall prey to the cute and cuddly!

* * *

**Hokage Tower**

Tsunade stood by her desk as the three Gennin teams filed in. Once she was sure their attention was on her, she cleared her throat and began speaking.

"As some of you may know, for the past fifty years, Konoha has had a tradition for a team's first B-rank mission. There are only two requirements to meet this tradition. The first is the absolute certainty that the team is a good combination and will be used frequently, if not forever. The other is to be a team that only has a numbered name or is referred to by the name of the Jounin-taichou."

She grinned as she saw the Jounin's eyes light up. The Hokage was actually playing the tradition down a little. It was a great honor to be awarded the right to name your team. Only ANBU teams and teams with teamwork the caliber of the Ino-Shika-Cho combination were awarded with this particular honor.

To have it given to a Gennin team was nearly unheard of.

The only Gennin team to get the honor was that of Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, and Uzumaki Naruto: the Neo-Sennin team.

It as an award given only after two of the team members disappeared.

Tsunade's eyes crinkled in a sad smile as she predicted the thoughts going through her students' heads. "As of now, Team Four does not exist. It is replaced by Team Kansei." (1)

Ryuu, Dia, and Sougo grinned and clapped each other on the back, but they had the sense to stay quiet as Tsunade continued.

"Team Eight will henceforth be known as Team Hanto." (2)

Denkou jumped as he felt a weight sling across his shoulders. He looked to his left to see Inari stretching his arms across his shoulders and those of Inari, a huge grin adorning his face.

"And Team Nine shall now be known as Team Shimekiri." (3)

Abino and Asuma grinned as Hikari let out a yelp and hugged her teammates. The grins faded to identical looks of shock as she accompanied her hugs with a kiss on the cheek. Almost as one, they lifted shaking hands to touch the spot her lips had briefly touched.

Two seconds later, they were grinning again and watching as Hikari pranced around the room. Konohamaru was grinning too, but his attention was fixed on the boys of his group. He would have so much fun messing with his team.

He caught Tsunade's eye and reformed his gleeful thoughts. He would mess with his team _after_ the mission. Sarutobi Konohamaru was back in business!

"Ahem."

Sarutobi Konohamaru would be back in business _after_ the B-rank mission!

Tsunade shook her head at the blissful expression on Konohamaru's face and began speaking to the room at large. "Although I normally wouldn't give a B-rank to Gennins, your Jounin-senseis are some of the best in our village, and your teamwork is amazing. I'm sure you can handle this mission."

She paused to let them absorb this information and continued. "There is a compound a few hours travel from here. It is closely guarded by both humans and high quality seals. We have no idea how many people are there or what they're doing, and due to this compound's location, our lack of knowledge is decidedly not good."

She drew a breath and continued. "I want Team Kansei to scope out the place and figure out a way in. Team Hanto will be the ones using the formulated plan to discover as much information as possible. Team Shikekiri is the backup. Keep the other two teams safe. With our new taijutsu program, you are all considerably able to take care of yourselves, but battle is Team Shikekiri's specialty. Haruno Sakura will be on standby as a med-nin in case something bad happens and you get caught."

Twelve heads whipped towards the now visible pink-haired woman, who smirked at their dumbfounded expressions and winked at Hikari.

Hikari grinned back at her secondary sensei, pleased that another familiar person would be with her on the first hard mission of her life.

She handed out the folders she had prepared. "I want you all out there immediately. Read your mission explanation on the way. Dismissed."

Empty space greeted her last words.

* * *

**Naruto**

He froze in the middle of placing his next to last seal. What the hell had riled up the compound.

The sound of pounding feet and clinking swords met his ear. Was there some kind of invasion?

"Word in from Danzo-sama! Three teams of Konoha ninja dispatched two hours ago to infiltrate and gather information! Prepare to engage!"

Naruto froze. Konoha nin? _Shit_!

There was a mumble of questions, and Naruto stopped cursing his bad sense of timing in order to hear the conversation.

"Negative. Reports say that the teams each consist of three Gennin and one Jounin. There two Hyuuga's with them."

Naruto started cursing again. He'd have to stay and make sure the Gennin didn't get hurt. Or Hinata. There'd be hell to pay if Hinata got hurt. Naruto had spent the last week moving around in this compound, and he had learned a lot. Like the fact that there was a small army (made up of very good men, if their practice sessions were anything to go by) hidden inside the castle. Like the fact that Danzou was planning a coup, and he couldn't have any witnesses.

Naruto hurriedly finished placing his seal and moved to place the last and final one, mentally contacting his clone to let Sasuke now the _new_ change of plan.

* * *

**Sasuke**

It had been very difficult to resist slaughtering the damn chipmunk, but the great Uchiha had resisted. Now, though, he was wishing he had killed it. Damn clone!

"So, you see, we may have to stick around to help the nice Konoha people." The clone finished.

"Hn," Sasuke was seething so much that he was surprised he even managed to make a calm sound.

"Oh, and the Boss says you can set off the explosives any time you want."

Sasuke's eyes lit up as a stray thought occurred to him. "So I don't need you anymore?

"Nope," the clone grinned and put his hands between his head. "Why?"

A knife thudded into his right eye and he disappeared with a surprised shout. Sasuke stared at the spot where the clone had been standing. He wanted blood, Dammit! Why could the Dobe create long-lived, very smart, telepathic clones, but not clones that would bleed?

He would have to take the matter up with the dobe once they got through with this debacle of a mission.

If they didn't end up being dragged back to Konohagakure in chains.

He turned back to the compound, preparing to set off Naruto's brilliant explosive seals. Two seconds later, he spun around, drawing a kunai to face thirteen surprised Konoha nin.

A pink haired woman spoke first. "S-Sasuke-kun?"

He stared at her in shock. Naruto hadn't mentioned that Sakura would be there.

He managed a witty "hn" as the compound behind him began to explode and a blond, black-clad ninja came hurtling out of the building, pursued by one hundred angry soldiers.

Sasuke sighed and turned towards his partner in crime—and explosives. Explanation could wait until later.

* * *

**UCHIHA SASUKE**

_Rank:_ Gennin

_Class:_ S-rank

_Taijutsu:_ Kage

_Ninjutsu_: Kage

_Genjutsu_: Kage

_Kenjutsu_: High-Jounin to Kage

_Senjutsu_: No

_Fuuinjustu_: Master

_Speciality_: Is a master of the elements of fire and lightening. Combines the elements and Taijutsu in deadly combination.

_Other Warnings_: Holds the Mangekyou Sharingan. Uses it and the normal Sharingan very rarely. Was apprenticed to Snake Sennin Orochimaru. Holds the summoning contract with the snakes.

_Advice_: Flee on sight. If he begins to use the Sharingan, flee faster.

* * *

**Translations**

_Kansei_ - Trap

_Hanto_ - Hunt

_Shikekiri_ - End

* * *

**Author's Note**: Okay, all done. The shit is beginning to hit the fan. Oh boy. What will happen next? Review, and you will find out sooner.


	9. Protecting the Precious People

**Author's Note:** So, I just realized that I actually said I'd update faster if I got reviews, and I got two. Not great, but I kind of can't disappoint the people who were nice enough to take the time to click a button and type a few words. Geez.

The future lies in the hands of people like Shikamaru. Is it really that troublesome to review?

Okay, I'm going to stop attempting to be nasty (it's really hard--the being nasty, I mean), and get on with the story.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, and unless I have a really rich and unknown uncle, I never will!

* * *

**Last Time**

_He turned back to the compound, preparing to set off Naruto's brilliant explosive seals. Two seconds later, he spun around, drawing a kunai to face thirteen surprised Konoha nin._

_A pink haired woman spoke first. "S-Sasuke-kun?"_

_He stared at her in shock. Naruto hadn't mentioned that Sakura would be there._

_He managed a witty "hn" as the compound behind him began to explode and a blond, black-clad ninja came hurtling out of the building, pursued by one hundred angry soldiers._

_Sasuke sighed and turned towards his partner in crime—and explosives. Explanations could wait until later._

* * *

**Sakura**

It was Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke. Right there. In front of her.

She was numb.

The guy who dragged Naruto away from Konoha was standing right in front of her and she couldn't do anything.

She was pathetic.

And all he did was say "hn" like the arrogant bastard he was.

And now he was drawing blades!

Oh _hell_ no.

* * *

**Sasuke**

He really didn't feel comfortable turning his back on the people who thought he'd ruined Naruto's life, but he needed to cover the damn Dobe's retreat. Growling slightly, he pulled out a few kunai to take out some of the hundred odd soldiers in hot pursuit of his stupidly brilliant best friend.

The word exploded in a flash of green chakra.

Ow!

He whirled around to face the Konoha nin. Shikamaru, Hinata, Konohamaru and Sakura faced him.

Hinata's Byakugan blazed, and shadows danced around Shikamaru as if the flames in the compound were strong enough to stretch their light to his aid.

Konohamaru's chakra and killing intent danced around him in almost visible waved of violent red and prideful purple.

And Sakura. Sakura wasn't even bothering with killing intent. She simply charged.

Sasuke ducked. "Dammit Sakura," he hissed, dodging a chakra-laced punch. "This is a really bad time!

"Oh," she shrieked. "And when would _be_ a good time, oh high and mighty Uchiha-_sama_?"

He flinched.

Sakura saw the opening and took it, sending Sasuke flying into the air. He landed and rolled, flipping to his feet just in time to avoid Shikamaru's **Kagemane no Jutsu**. He dodged into Konohamaru's fist, which sent him straight into Hinata's Jyuuken.

Gasping, Sasuke staggered backwards, trying desperately to think of a way to subdue them long enough to make them listen to reason. If only he could use Shikamaru's shadow techniques.

"Come on, Sasuke-_sama_," Sakura sneered, ignoring the tears glittering on her cheeks. "Stop holding back. We aren't weaklings you know. You can use your Sharingan on us."

Sasuke growled and focused his attention on the woman who had once claimed she loved him.

He forgot about the Gennin.

Hard wires suddenly yanked around him and swarms of kikkai landed on every part of his body they could reach. Eight Gennin surrounded him while the ninth expertly secured him to a tree. Their eyes indicated that they were dead serious.

Their battle stances showed they knew _exactly_ what they were doing.

'_Well damn_,' Sasuke thought. '_I can't risk fighting and hurting them. They'll never listen then_.' He sighed in resignation as Konohamaru stalked over to question him and the other Jounin organized the Gennin to face the approaching soldiers. Naruto was nowhere in sight.

* * *

**Naruto**

That last **Kawarimi** he pulled had been a brilliant move. He was now back in the burning building and hoping Sasuke could hold off the soldiers for a little while longer.

He needed to find the leader of this damned operation and…

Ducking under the swinging katana, Naruto scattered a few of his custom made seals and yanked his own Katana out of its sheath.

* * *

**Attacker**

The appearance of the blood-red, gold-gilded hilt caused the attacking man to pause for a few seconds. His eyes travelled up and down the width of the blade, then flicked towards the man who bore it.

Gold and red hilt: Check.

Silver blade with faded etchings of frolicking foxes: Check.

Bright blond hair: Check.

Laughing blue eyes: Check.

Black shinobi pants and boots, bandaged with dark orange wrappings: Check.

Net shirt covered by a black, armored vest: Check.

Inside-out Hitai-ite: Check.

Oh shit.

The man swallowed as he realized exactly who he was facing. Uzumaki Naruto was not known for showing mercy to his clear-cut enemies, and if he was willing to blow up a building just to shut down an organization, the leader of said organization was definitely an enemy.

"Who are you?" The blue eyes were _not_ laughing anymore.

"Kenji Aho." Now would be a really good time to lie. He couldn't do it.

"Rank?" The eyes narrowed.

"C-commander." He was going to die.

The eyes widened and crinkled. "That was easy. I'm so glad you found me commander."

"R-really?" Maybe he wouldn't die after all.

"Yup!" The eyes closed in a cheerful smile and the man flashed him the peace sign. "Now I don't have to tear down the compound to find you. Can't have you dying before Ibiki gets a chance to meet you."

The hope that had been building in Aho's chest came crashing down just as Naruto moved in a blur and chopped his hand down.

His world faded into black.

* * *

**Naruto**

Well, that was easy.

Kind of disappointing.

Meh.

Swiftly, he bent down to heave the unconscious idiot of a commander onto his shoulders. Then, Naruto raced out of the building, creating two clones to keep the debris from falling on him or the deadweight lying across his shoulders.

It wouldn't do any good if the commander went and died before he could point out the Konoha traitor.

Naruto let out a sadistic giggle as he topped the rise of the hill and let his eyes search for the presence of his moody friend.

"Shit!"

Sasuke was wired to a tree. Even from the distance, Naruto could see the furious frown on his face as the 'last' Uchiha struggled to pull free from wires created and tied by a Gennin.

He was not succeeding.

Naruto's chuckle died in his throat as his gaze slid by Sasuke and fell on the battle just a few feet beyond him.

Hinata, Shikamaru, Sakura, and Konohamaru had formed a square were landing devastating blows to each and every enemy soldier they could reach. Their Gennin darted in and out of the fray, striking swiftly and retreating to the safe spot in the center of the Jounin square in order to find and plan their next attack.

It was beautiful.

They were still being overwhelmed.

Being attacked by four hundred well-trained soldiers will do that to you.

Naruto's eyes widened as he took in the sight of the enemy archer who had placed himself right in Hinata's blind spot. He aimed for the Hyuuga heiress as she killed yet another soldier.

Inari's head whipped around and he stared behind his teacher in horror.

Naruto didn't wait to hear Inari's warning cry. He had already formed a one handed seal with one hand and drawn a three pronged kunai with the other.

"**Kage Bunshin no Jutsu**," he whispered. Eleven clones appeared. One put away the special kunai and took the commander instead. The other ten focused their attention at the battle at hand.

Unlike the clone that had spent its days blissfully taunting Sasuke, these clones were completely on-task and deadly serious.

As one, the clones and Naruto called out the name of the jutsu Naruto had once naïvely claimed he would never use in battle.

"**Hiraishin**!"

* * *

**Hinata**

The soldiers just kept _coming_. She stuck and dodged and weaved, protecting herself and others from the attacks that only she could see.

It was hopeless. They kept coming, and they were too good to simply massacre. Only the thought of a young blond who wouldn't stay down kept Hinata from throwing in the towel and trying to save her comrades by surrendering.

"Hinata-hime!"

Hinata glanced at Inari to see him looking over her shoulder in pure horror.

Dread coiled in her stomach as she heard a distinctive "twang."

"**Hiraishin**!"

Eleven bolts of yellow, black, and dusky orange shot in to the battlefield. A clone vanished with a 'poof as it took the arrow meant for Hinata.

Over half of the remaining soldiers clutched their throats and chests and collapsed to the forest floor, dead. The remaining hundred fell back and regrouped, staring in apprehension at the ten blond warriors forming a protective circle around the Konoha nin and the dark-haired man coolly shaking off the wires a clone had cut before taking his place in the circle.

Hinata swallowed as she stared at the back of the man she had been wishing would reappear for Twelve years.

Her vision started fading around the edges, but she violently shook her head and set herself up un a stringer stance.

No way in hell was she going to play the damsel in distress!

* * *

**Sasuke**

Sasuke stalked over to the grinning original, thanking Kami he had learned to differentiate between the original and his clones.

"Took you long enough," he grunted smirking at the surprised gasp from one of the Konoha nin.

Naruto flicked a sly glance at the seething Uchiha and grinned. "First squirrels and now Gennin," he taunted lightly. "Which opponent will you underestimate next, teme?"

"It was a demon squirrel." Sasuke retorted. "And those Gennin aren't normal."

Naruto cast an appraising glance over his shoulder. "No," he said softly. "They're not."

"Good thing, too." Sasuke muttered. "Or they'd be dead right now."

Naruto shook his head. "You'd have gotten free if they weren't so good."

"Hn."

"Teme…"

"Hn?"

Naruto smirked. "I saw what you did to my clone. Are you ready for some real blood?"

Sasuke favored his partner with a broad grin.

They charged.

* * *

**UZUMAKI NARUTO**

_Rank:_ Gennin

_Class:_ SS-rank

_Taijutsu:_ Kage

_Ninjutsu_: Kage

_Genjutsu_: Kage

_Kenjutsu_: Kage

_Senjutsu_: Perfected

_Fuuinjustu_: Master

_Speciality_: Is a master of the elements of wind and water. Combines the elements and Taijutsu in deadly combination with **Kage Bunshins **and high level attacks such as the **Rasengan**.

_Other Warnings_: Jinchuuriki for the Kyuubi. It probably powerful enough to easily beat another Jinchuuriki without the use of his Bijuu. Has perfected the **Rasengan** and is thought to experiment with other forms of said jutsu. Holds the summoning contract with the frogs and with the foxes. Has an unlimited supply of chakra.

_Advice_: Flee on sight and pray he isn't bored enough to chase you. Has been known to grant mercy in exchange for Ramen. Will kill without hesitation if the ramen is bad.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Well, that was fun. I must go do real homework now instead of the much more fun activity of writing for you.

Please remember that I love to write even if I don't get feedback.

Please also remember that I have dance for joy in the presence of my roommate when I get reviews.

Blue button. Click.

It's not that hard.


	10. Fighting as a Team

**Author's Note:** Yo! Eh, I'm not sure if that style of greeting really suits me, but it does remind me that Kakashi's going to need to show up at some point. Hmm? When and how do you guys think he should show up?

I may come up with my own idea, and if I like it, I'll use it, but someone else might have a better idea.

So, yeah. Help!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto. Pity, too.

* * *

**Last Time**

_Naruto flicked a sly glance at the seething Uchiha and grinned. "First squirrels and now Gennin," he taunted lightly. "Which opponent will you underestimate next, teme?"_

"_It was a demon squirrel." Sasuke retorted. "And those Gennin aren't normal."_

_Naruto cast an appraising glance over his shoulder. "No," he said softly. "They're not."_

"_Good thing, too." Sasuke muttered. "Or they'd be dead right now."_

_Naruto shook his head. "You'd have gotten free if they weren't so good."_

"_Hn."_

"_Teme…"_

"_Hn?"_

_Naruto smirked. "I saw what you did to my clone. Are you ready for some real blood?"_

_Sasuke favored his partner with a broad grin._

_They charged._

* * *

**Konohamaru**

He was there. Right there. His boss was fighting.

"I need to start training harder," he mumbled to himself. "Boss has me completely overshadowed, and he's not even trying."

"Sensei?" Inuzuka Hikari was staring at Naruto. "Who's that?"

He glanced towards her and frowned. "That's Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha's number one unpredictable ninja."

Hikari's eyes lit up. "He's from Konoha?"

Asuma frowned. "Where's his hitai-ite?"

"On his forehead." Abino's voice betrayed the awe he felt. His sensei was awesome, and Rock Lee was the fastest shinobi of Konoha, but this guy was amazing. And the dark haired guy fighting next to him was no slouch either. "Who's the other guy?"

Konohamaru's mouth tightened as he glared at the former avenger. "Uchiha Sasuke. Konoha's number one traitor."

"Why are they fighting together then?" Hikari's brows were knit in confusion as she stared at her brand new idol.

"That," Konohamaru said softly, "is a damn good question. One that I intend to find the answer to."

That being said, he drew his kunai, ordered his team to stay put, and dashed forward with a roar.

Abino's jaw dropped as he took back his earlier thought. Konohamaru-sensei was pretty amazing himself.

--

**Shikamaru**

He could see Dia's eyes lighting up in excitement. Why did Konohamaru have to go and say Naruto's name out loud? He should know by now that Dia was Naruto's self proclaimed rival.

On the other hand, now that Dia was seeing just how good the former prankster was, maybe she would let go of _that_ particular ambition and pick a less…troublesome…one.

"It's really him!"

Or not.

"Dia," Ryuu groaned, grabbing his friend's (and secret love's) arm. "You can't go and challenge this guy to a prank war. It's really bad idea right now."

"I agree," Sougo said, and Ryuu sighed in relief at the extra back-up. "We should definitely wait until after he's done fighting."

Ryuu choked. Dia would get herself killed if she went up against this guy by…herself. He stared at Sougo. "You said 'we'"

Sougo inclined his head. "I did."

"We, as in a team, we."

"That was the idea Shishi-san."

"Ryuu."

"You are not as cold as I imagine a dragon would be, Shishi-san."

"Shishi, then."

"Very well, Shishi-_kun_."

Ryuu choked and reminded himself that just because Sougo was inclined to act as polite as an Aburame, he was really as sadistic as, as…Mitarashi Anko!

"Um, hello?" Dia's voice was calmer, more collected. "Can we figure out something to do while we wait for the battle to cool down? I don't want my new rival to thing I'm useless baggage."

Shikamaru was barely able to hide a grin at his students' antics. They were right, though. They needed to do something, and damned if he was going to let them get in the way of the real fighting.

Besides, it looked like Konohamaru had just completely lost his head and gone berserker, and although the power given a berserker in battle is useful, it was also liable to make people forget about the weaker allies around them.

The three remaining level-headed Jounin should be able to take care of the Gennin, but Shikamaru wasn't sure how much longer Sakura would be able to keep a grip on herself, and he was sure Hinata wanted to join the fight as well.

Actually, if he was honest with himself, he actually wanted to get a couple kills in himself.

"Naruto," he muttered to himself. "You always were troublesome. Making me motivate myself without even wanting to. Keh!"

Sougo looked at Shikamaru curiously, "What was that, sensei?"

"Nothing," Shikamaru replied. "Alright! All you Gennin, come here to hear your orders."

He caught Hinata's surprised look and grinned, nodding his head towards the battle. Her lips thinned for a moment, and then her face brightened as she turned her face towards Naruto.

"I want all nine of you to do a patrol around the perimeters of this fight. Do not engage in the main scrimmage. There may be other people out there, and I want them gone. Team Hanto! I hope you're all as fast as Hinata says you are. You're the outer ring of the circle. Scout to make sure you won't be caught by surprise and that you can handle any enemy you find."

Hinata's team nodded and briefly conferred with one another to figure out their formation. "Team Kansei!" Shikamaru speared a moment to smile at his team. "You're in the center. Plan for any sneak attacks for the enemy. When you find them, or if they find you, you're in charge of the battle plan. Don't disappoint me." Shishi swallowed.

Lastly, Shikamaru turned towards Konohamaru's team. "I'm glad that guy has been having you running so much. You're going to need that stamina and speed you've been building up move between Team Hanto and Team Kansei. Relay important messages and be ready to back up anyone who gets in trouble. You're the strike force, but don't be afraid to hit hard and then retreat."

He jerked his head in the direction of the trees, and they were gone.

Then, he turned towards Sakura and Hinata.

Hinata raised her eyebrow. "I hope you aren't planning to give _me_ orders Shikamaru-kun. I know exactly what I'm doing, and I'm sure Sakura does, too."

Shikamaru eyed Sakura. He wasn't sure he agreed with Hinata. Sakura's eyes were glazed over, and she fought to breath as she stared at her two teammates.

On the other hand, if he said she wasn't in any shape to go into battle, both Hinata and Sakura would hit him, and as they were the two med-nins on the team, Shikamaru really didn't feel like finding out if they would still heal him.

So he simply shrugged and raised an eyebrow.

Hinata and Sakura were gone before it had even reached its peak.

* * *

**General**

The bloodstains would probably never be washed completely from the forest floor. Luckily enough, all the blood belonged to the enemies, so none of the Konoha ninja were particularly bothered. It wasn't like they would have to live in the clearing after they were done fighting for their lives.

Once the Konoha Jounin had joined the fight, they had quickly whittled down the opposing force until only twenty-five of the best remained.

Naruto and Sasuke had unconsciously gravitated towards Sakura, and the three had begun fighting with surprisingly good coordination, considering they had never really worked as a team when they had an official one.

Now, though, they knocked their opponents around, continually pushing them towards one of the other members of their team, subconsciously using their old teammates to the best of their abilities.

Sakura's massive punches shoved her enemies towards Naruto and Sasuke, who scythed their way through any soldier who dared to face them (and many who didn't). Those who survived the massive injury sustained simply from the shockwave of a single punch found themselves faced with either a burning katana or an icy wakazashi.

As the former Team Seven—now referred to as the Neo-Sennin—demolished the ranks from the center out, Hinata, Shikamaru, and Konohamaru made sure no one escaped the battle to escape and attack people less able to defend themselves than ninja.

Shikamaru watched from a tree, weaving shadows in a circle around the battle. Any unfortunate soldier who stumbled into his trap was later found dead, his neck snapped by shadowy hands.

Konohamaru ran circles around the battle itself, stabbing and slashing at anyone he could reach. Not many made it past him into Shikamaru's shadow ring.

Meanwhile, Hinata opted to make use of her stunning flexibility. Sliding in and out of the melee, her swift Jyuuken strikes made every man who felt her light touch stiffen and fall to the ground, either dead or dying.

Soon, without even the use of jutsu, the battle field was emptied of all but the Konoha nin and their former comrades.

* * *

**Hinata**

Breathing only slightly harder than she usually did, Hinata pushed a little extra chakra into her Byakugan, making sure that no one nearby was in any shape to attack. That task finished, she turned her head towards Sasuke and Naruto.

She did not deactivate her kekkai genkai.

Naruto stared at her, his hand nervously going up to scratch his hair. He only succeeded in rubbing a red streak into his sunny hair.

"I think we deserve an explanation." She was proud to say her voice did _not_ tremble.

"Yeah," Naruto agreed. "You do."

"Hn." Sasuke's grunts were incomprehensible to anyone but Naruto, but the expression on his face suggested that he too thought that his former comrades could use some civil conversation.

"Should we start with my story or Sasuke's?" Naruto's expression looked funny on his face. It lacked any of the humor it usually displayed.

"Neither." Konohamaru's voice was sharp. "First we bury these idiots, then we wait for our Gennin to come back, and _then_ you give us all an explanation."

Sasuke spoke up, and the sound of his voice caused Sakura to visibly flinch. "Are your Gennin fully aware of the circumstances surrounding our disappearances?"

"No." Shikamaru's gaze was hard as he glared at Sasuke, but it softened as his eyes flicked over towards Naruto."

"Then," Sasuke continued, "You had best tell them about us before we explain our side of the story."

Naruto's voice rang out, but it did not come from the direction of the Naruto they faced. "Can explanations wait until later? This idiot is heavy, and I think the kids need some moral support stuff."

Hinata gasped as they whipped towards the voice. A shockingly blue eye winked at her before the clone it belonged to dispelled, gracelessly dumping the unconscious form of Kenji Aho to the ground.

Behind the clone were the Gennin.

Dia sobbed, her hands bloody and scratched, her gear torn and ashy. Shishi had his arm wrapped around her, murmuring soothing words to his best friend. His whole body shook. Sougo had both swords out, blood dripping down them, his eyes wide open and wild as he stood to the back of his team, clearly still feeling the need to guard them.

Hikari didn't look much better than Dia, but she was bravely holding her tears back, her left leg a bloody mess. Kitsinu nuzzled her neck, letting out soft whimpers. Abino and Asuma flanked her, arms wrapped around her waist. Abino had a long scrape along a cheekbone, and one of Asuma's eyes was slowly turning purple.

Azelle had her arm wrapped around Denkou, who twitched every so often. His eyes were wide, and his mouth panted open in a snarl.

Inari hung to the back, his eyes wide, and his mouth trembling. Even with Hinata running towards them, he kept his Byakugan activated. Only when his sensei gently touched his shoulder did he look at her.

Seeing the compassionate look on her gentle face, he sighed once, and collapsed.

"Sakura!" Hinata cried, but the pink-haired medic was already at the boy's side, green chakra swarming around her hands as she performed a diagnostic jutsu.

"Calm down Hinata." Sakura's jade eyes were calmer now that she'd had the vent in the form of battle. "He's only worn out. He should be awake again in a few hours." She sighed and looked around. "I think we underestimated the caliber of the people here."

"We all did." Naruto's voice was strained. "I spent two weeks scoping out this place before I infiltrated." He ignored Sasuke's snort and continued. "I didn't realize they actually had good fighters here until I was moving around, and I don't think I'd have known that if they knew I was there."

"Your genjutsus must have gotten better then," Sakura said, not meeting his eyes.

"Loads," he said with a wide grin. "It helps when you've got emo boy over there dropping you into high level genjutsus whenever you piss him off. I can break Tsukoyumi now."

Sakura met his eyes in surprise and started when she saw his grin. Slowly, even reluctantly, her own mouth curved into a smile.

Hinata winced. She wished Naruto would grin at her like that even once. Right now, though, she was almost glad he wasn't. Her team didn't need to see her turn into a gooey mess.

"Delightful as this happy little reunion is," Sasuke cut in, "may I suggest we bury these idiots and move somewhere that smells a little better?"

Konohamaru sighed. "Better start digging."

"Oi," Naruto said, his voice stern. "You're forgetting who you've teamed up with. **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!**" Eight hundred clones popped into existence, and Konohamaru gave his old idol a reluctant thumbs up. "Alright you maggots! Two clones to a grave, dispel yourselves slowly when you're done."

"Yes, Boss!"

Naruto grinned and signaled to another nine of the clones. "You lot, carry the young ones. I want to move fast, and they don't look like they're in any condition to move and think at the same time. Hinata?"

Hinata jerked her head up in surprise. "Yes?"

"Do you want to carry him?" He nodded to her unconscious student. "He's Inari, right? Your student? Would you rather carry him?"

Hinata looked at him in surprise. "How did you know he was my student? And yes, I would prefer to carry him."

"My information source," Naruto said grimly, "is one of the things we need to discuss. Let's go!"

They took to the trees at a sprint.

* * *

**HARUNO SAKURA**

_Rank:_ Jounin

_Class:_ A/S-rank

_Taijutsu:_ Kage

_Ninjutsu_: High-Jounin

_Genjutsu_: High-Jounin

_Kenjutsu_: N/A—doesn't need: she can break any but the best sword with a single tap.

_Senjutsu_: N/A

_Fuuinjustu_: N/A

_Speciality_: Is a master of the element of earth. Possesses the deadly strength of the Godaime Hokage and uses with Taijutsu and supplementary Genjutsu. Is excellent at dodging and is one of the strongest med-nins alove.

_Other Warnings_: Extremely volatile. Holds the summoning contract with the slugs. Has perfect chakra control. Incredibly smart. Sennin Tsunade's apprentice. Can cure any poison and has been known to bring herself back from the dead. Or nearly the dead.

_Advice_: Do not, repeat _do not_, mention her forehead. Flee before you can even look at her forehead.

* * *

**Author's note:** I'm having a lot of fun with the advice on these profiles. Who should I do next? Kakashi? Kiba? Sai?

And no, I'm not trying to trick you into reviewing. I'm just giving you a good excuse to do it.

**Next Up:** You'll be hearing what happened to the Gennin, as well as Naruto and Sasuke's stories. I have a lot of work to do though, so you might not be getting the update until next week.

Ciao!


	11. First Kills

**Author's Note:** Wow, so I feel a little bad about taking this long to update, even if it was only about a week. But it's so easy to forget stuff over the course of a week! Anyway, here's the next update, but first I feel like I need to respond to my reviews because they've all made me really, really happy.

**--**

**cdfe88:** We've already done some communicating on possibilities to make this story better, but I didn't want to leave you out, so thank you for taking the time to pay attention to my response.

**Rena the pirate jedi wizard**: Heh, one Kakashi profile coming right up! But not in this chapter. He's not really here in this chapter at all, so I feel kind of weird outing his profile in. He will be making an entrance in this story very soon, though. Glad you're enjoying the story.

**Reader-of-Many**: I'm so glad my humor is appreciated! I tend to get a lot of weird looks when I talk out loud. I think it may be because I have a tendency to ramble and skip around random subjects that have perfectly logical connections in my head. That's one of the nice things about writing: you can make the random connections.

**Lord Bear:** I really, really want to thank you for going ahead and reading some random reviewer's story. I have no idea how often you do that, but your response and review completely made my day. And I'd love to talk about story ideas with you.

--

Okay! Now that I've given you your much deserved thanks, on with the story!

**Disclaimer:** I'm sorry to say that I still have not figured out how to make Naruto mine. Which may be a good thing because I like reading the manga, and that would be lost if I were suddenly writing it. Er…I'm never going to be rich and famous, am I?

* * *

**Last Time**

_Naruto grinned and signaled to another nine of the clones. "You lot, carry the young ones. I want to move fast, and they don't look like they're in any condition to move and think at the same time. Hinata?"_

_Hinata jerked her head up in surprise. "Yes?"_

"_Do you want to carry him?" He nodded to her unconscious student. "He's Inari, right? Your student? Would you rather carry him?"_

_Hinata looked at him in surprise. "How did you know he was my student? And yes, I would prefer to carry him."_

"_My information source," Naruto said grimly, "is one of the things we need to discuss. Let's go!"_

_They took to the trees at a sprint._

* * *

Two hours later, Naruto signaled to the rest of the group that they had reached a safe spot. He disappeared two seconds later.

"What the hell?" Dia cried out, tumbling out of her tree and nearly cracking her head open on the now rocky terrain. "Where did he go?"

Sasuke snorted as he landed gracefully nearby. Dia jumped and gave him a nervous glare, and suddenly Ryuu and Sougo were between her and the traitor-ish person.

"It's one of our hide-a-ways," he said coolly. "I hope you realize how much the dobe trusts you all here. We can't afford to lose this spot. I hope you don't tell anyone about it."

The light tone of his voice would have made the unvoiced threat unnoticeable if it hadn't been for the sharp spike of killing intent accompanying his words.

The Gennin shuddered, and Inari finally raised his head from Hinata's shoulders. "What's going on?" He mumbled. "Where's the fight?"

"No fight," muttered Hikari. "Just a bastard trying to intimidate us."

"And succeeding," came a mild interjection from Sougo.

"Oi! Teme! Show them the way in so we can talk! I want to know what the hell happened to those Gennin!"

Sasuke sighed and tossed his head, rolling his eyes to glare at each of the Konoha nin.

Ryuu wondered how he managed to do this without crossing his eyes.

"Follow me," the Uchiha sighed, before slipping through a nearly invisible crack in the sheer rock face to the group's immediate left.

* * *

Hinata was the last of the group to enter the cave. Shock took over her features when she entered the room. She hadn't realized it was this big, even with her **Byakugan** activated.

Naruto took one look at her features and roared with laughter. "Well, Sasuke," he gasped. "It looks like Karin's genjutsus is pretty damn good if Hinata-chan's Byakugan couldn't see through it."

Sasuke smirked. "I told you we could trust her."

Naruto grinned and flapped his hand, this winced suddenly.

"Dobe?" Sasuke's voice was sharp. "What hurts?"

"Just my wrist, teme," Naruto muttered. "I probably just got careless during the fight."

"We'll see." Sasuke's voice was inscrutable. "Take them off."

Dia choked, her eyes fixed on the two _very_ handsome men in front of her. They were glaring at each other. The black haired man, fingered a kunai, and the blonde's eyes flicked towards a seal at the back of the cave.

"Dobe," Sasuke's voice was almost patient. "If you try to **Hiraishin** away, I'll tie you up, send you back to Konoha with them, and let you try to escape on your own time. You promised."

"Not in front of _them_," Naruto hissed, waving his arms at the assemble ninja.

"Why not? You were going to tell them anyway."

Naruto flinched and looked at the ground.

"Apparently," Shikamaru's dry voice cut across the cave's expanse, "He was trying not to."

Konohamaru shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Looks like the traitor wouldn't have let him get away with not telling us."

At this, Naruto's eyes flashed purple, and he was standing in front of Konohamaru before anyone could even blink. "_Don't_ call him a traitor Konohamaru. You don't know the whole story yet." Stung, the young Jounin opened his mouth to respond, but Naruto cut him off. "You can make judgments after you've heard his side, but not before. Besides," he grinned, "Future Hokage's are supposed to be diplomatic."

Konohamaru blinked, wondered if his old 'boss' was bipolar, and nodded. "Tell, then."

"No." All eyes swiveled towards Sasuke. "First the dobe is going to take off his shirt and show me his damn arm. _Then_ your Gennin will tell us what happened to them. You can hear from us after we've sorted out today."

"Fair enough." Everyone started at the sound of Sakura's voice. She glared at her former teammates. "Naruto. Shirt off."

The blonde stared at her for a few minutes, obviously remembering some of the past punches she'd landed on his head. "Fine," he sighed. The black armor was on the ground and his right arm in Sasuke's grasp within seconds.

"Shit," the normally stoic Uchiha grumbled as he gazed at the lines of glowing red seals snaking their way from Naruto's wrist to his elbow. "This is not good."

Naruto shut his eyes and blew his bangs off his face. "I know."

"Do you?"

Blue eyes glared at an activated **Sharingan**. "Stow it Uchiha," he growled. "I'm working on controlling the chakra, but if you push me, I may lose this arm."

Hinata let out a strangled sob as she watched the swirls of multicolored energy pound against Naruto's chakra coils. When everyone looked at her, she shook her head. "I think our Gennin are about to explain what happened."

"Yes," Shikamaru nodded. "I want a spokesperson for each group. Hanto, Kansei, Shikekiri. Go."

* * *

**Hanto**

Inari glanced around at his team. Uzu barely even glanced at him, his eyes narrowed as he stared at the blonde guy who held Hinata-hime's attention. Azelle smiled at him and gave him an encouraging nod.

He took a deep breath and began:

_I really don't know what exactly happened. We were patrolling around the edges of our group. I took the position closest to your fight so I could see if anyone was approaching; Azelle and her kikkais took pint, and Uzu was our rearguard. If we'd been at full strength it would have been perfect but I was tired, and I couldn't really focus everywhere at once. It hurt my head._

_Hikari was my go-between for communicating with Team Kansei, and if it hadn't been for her, I probably would have died. She smelled the attackers before I saw them. I- I think she killed the first one. She smashed his head in. I got the next two, and Hikari stabbed another one and __**Tsuuga**__-ed two more._

_Then there were a lot more of them. They tied Hikari up with chakra wires and knocked me over. I yelled, so I don't think the rest were caught as badly as we were. We weren't really off-guard. We just…didn't think anyone would get by you guys._

_We were ready in case they were. Just… we weren't ready for as many as there were._

_Anyway, I used chakra to cut Hikari loose. I think she was burned a bit by the chakra. We we ran towards where we heard the fighting. _

…

_It- it was scary. I don't think we would have survived if it hadn't been for Ryuu and Uzu. A lot of us, well, we did all right until we killed them. A couple of us lost it, but Uzu snapped us out of it, and Ryuu got us thinking again._

_It's all so much of a blur. We all were…_

_We were all…_

_The guys had us backed into a circle. I think they'd realized we were stronger than we looked by then, so they stopped being disorganized and started attacking with a plan._

_We held them off for a while, but we were tired, and there still about thirty left by the time they started regrouping._

_That's when that blond guy's clone showed up. He dumped that ugly guy in the middle of us, and he kind of roared, like. The guys attacking us tried to run, but…_

_I think they're all dead now._

_I don't know how we missed them until they were right there_.

* * *

Hinata's lips were pressed tightly together, and Konohamaru looked ready to tear something to pieces. Their Gennin, _their_ Gennin, had almost been killed by a complete fluke of—something.

Shikamaru unclenched his jaw and turned to Sakura. "Can you run diagnostics?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Hikari already got to most of their wounds. Ryuu's voice is a little strained, but given what Inari just told us, I'm willing to bet that's from mustering their forces. The only one I'm worried about is Hikari. Her leg looks pretty bad. I need to get it clean, but I don't think I have enough on my medkit."

"Ah!" Naruto hit himself on his head. "I completely forgot!" He ran into the back of the cave and came back, lugging a rather large and clearly heavy trunk. "These are our medical supplies for this hideout. Got 'em from a raid on…Oto?"

"Iwa," Sasuke said, shaking his head. "The Oto stash is at headquarters."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "I'm looking forward to hearing your story."

"You still have two more reports to collect," grinned Naruto. "And then a debriefing of the situation."

"Debriefing?" Konohamaru was turning red with suppressed rage. "You go missing for twelve years, turn up out of the blue, blow up the place we're supposed to investigate, almost get our Gennin killed, and then insist on _debriefing_ us? Like you're our superiors?"

Naruto met his gaze. "You're Gennin would be dead if that place hadn't been blown up. They knew you were coming. Got notification from a spy in Konoha. I have memories of their fight, and they're pretty damn good, but if you'd gone in their thinking that they would only have hunch that someone _might_ be spying, you would have lost a lot more than the time needed to coach your students through their first kill."

"Anyway," Sasuke interjected, "I don't think the guys who attacked them were with this body of soldiers. It sounds like they were masking their presence. The guys we were fighting were good, but stealth wasn't high on their list of priorities."

Hinata ignored Sasuke, opting instead to stare at Naruto in horror. "A spy in Konoha? This is a really bad time to have a spy there."

"Don't worry," Naruto flapped his hands. "I stole the papers that say who it is. And there are copies in the rubble we left behind. Guy won't know you've discovered him until he's being arrested."

"Gai?" Konohamaru's face was filled with horror. "You don't mean to say—"

"Ah," Naruto grinned and shook his head. "Not Gai—Guy. Sorry, English word I picked up so I could be vague if I was ever being tortured for information. Anyway, I think Gai would rather dress in black and Purple than turn traitor."

"Who is the traitor?" Shikamaru's eyes were sharp.

"After the Gennin reports," Naruto grinned. "We can't let your students feel neglected, now, can we? Kansei—right?"

* * *

Ryuu opened his mouth, and croaked. Sighing he looked at his teammates. Upon witnessing Dia's fragile appearance, he nudged Sougo, who looked up, startled.

He glared at Ryuu, who pointed to his throat and shrugged. Sougo's eyes softened, and he began to speak:

_We form the rings like Shikamaru sensei told us to. Dia, Ryuu, and I were in the middle. You've already heard team Hanto's formation. We assigned Hikari to Inari, Abino to Azelle, and Asuma to Uzu._

_We were maybe halfway around the perimeter when we heard Inari yell. They were on us about fifteen seconds later. They went for Dia first, but not to kill. I think they wanted to keep the girls, now that I hear what happened to Hikari and Inari. Inari always has looked awfully feminine._

_Anyway, Dia got her wire around their necks and pulled. I think she decapitated two of them before she froze. I stabbed one, and—_

_It's not the same. Human flesh and wooden dummies. I think if I hadn't been able to feel the difference, I would have been okay, but the Hijiikata family has always been a little more in tune with their swords than most people._

_The next thing I knew, Uzu has hit me across the face, and Ryuu was yelling for us to get in battle formation. I was back up for Abino since I had a larger reach. I think we took out about seven before they regrouped themselves. _

_Hikari was down by then, and Dia was guarding her. I think she shredded her fingers pretty badly. The attackers knew jutsus. They were about to torch us when the blond guy showed up._

_I don't care if they're dead! They would have killed us, so I don't care._

* * *

Naruto sighed and bopped Sougo over the head. "Always care," he stated. "It keeps you human." Sasuke snorted, and Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Don't pretend you don't care, Teme. You always sulk after a pointless battle. You've just convinced yourself you need blood, but you do care."

Sasuke met Naruto's gaze for a few seconds before looking away.

"Naruto-sama," Dia muttered.

Naruto flinched and looked at her. "No '_sama,_' please. I'm not worth it."

"You are!" Dia insisted hotly. "Without you we'd be dead!" He sighed, and she lowered her voice. "Anyway, _Uzumaki-san_, how do you cope? With the killing?"

He smiled. "I find my precious people. And I make sure I protect them."

Sakura snorted quietly, but remained quiet when she saw not only Dia's, but all the Gennin's faces, take on new resolve. She would avoid trashing their new idol. For a while, anyway.

* * *

**Shikekiri**

Asuma cleared his throat, raising his eyebrows questioningly at his teammates. Hikari waved him on, and Abino smiled in relief.

_We were moving between Teams Hanto and Kansei to relay information. I was on my way back to Kansei when I heard someone—I think it was Dia—scream. I made a __**Bunshin**__ to go back to Uzu and bring him in, then I ran back to Kansei._

_I think by then both Dia and Sougo were in shock. Ryuu was trying to herd them back towards him so he could keep them from dying. Someone was going after Sougo; I think he had his eyes on the swords. So I moved._

_I felt the guy's face crumble under my fist. I kept going, but I was slow, and upset. Ryuu yelled in my ear and woke me up. I teamed up with him, and we moved around the outside of the fight. Someone kicked me across the face, and I almost blacked out. My vision was a little blurry, and I can't really remember what happened._

_I think Ryuu dragged me back to the circle, and then this blond and black blur threw some guy at me. I caught him, and then all the attackers were gone. _

_The blond blur was that guy with the whiskers. He hurried us back to you guys, and then we ran here. _

_I'm... really... tired._

* * *

Asuma fainted just as Shikamaru reached out his hands. The shadow user kept the exhausted boy's head from cracking open.

"Well," said Sakura. "I guess we're waiting until tomorrow to hear Naruto and Sasuke's story. Gennin, go to bed in the back of the cave. We won't tell tall tales without you."

The Gennin grumbled and moved to the back of the cave. Naruto, Sasuke, and the Konoha Jounin spoke quietly in low voices until Hinata, **Byakugan** activated, nodded her head.

Naruto sighed and pulled out some papers. "These are the papers I lifted from the center. There's a full profile of each Konoha ninja in there, and signed orders from the guy who sent them."

"Who?" Sakura asked.

Naruto shook his head. "It's pretty obvious if you think about it, but I don't want his name creeping into your Gennin's dreams."

Shikamaru's eyes lit up in understanding as he slowly nodded in agreement.

"This guy," Naruto gestured at the still unconscious Aho, "was the commander of the operation you were supposed to investigate. Bring him to Ibiki and you should still complete you mission."

"Why are you giving us all this?" Konohamaru asked, looking up from blueprints of the Hokage monument. "Don't you want to know what's going on?"

"I have a pretty good idea," Naruto grinned.

"Besides," grunted Sasuke, "we have our ways of finding out what we need to know."

"Good," muttered Sakura, her voice heavy with sarcasm. "I'd hate to think you might be bereft of some precious information in _our_ behalf."

Sasuke glared at his former teammate, but Hinata cut across the beginnings of the argument.

"Naruto, what's wrong with your arm?"

"Oh, that?" Naruto beamed at his former comrades. "I'm kind of dying."

* * *

**KENJI AHO**

_Rank:_ N/A: Samurai

_Class:_ B-rank when alone, A/S-rank when accompanied

_Taijutsu:_ High-Jounin

_Ninjutsu_: Low- Chuunin

_Genjutsu_: Low-Chuunin

_Kenjutsu_: High-Jounin/Low-Kage

_Senjutsu_: N/A

_Fuuinjustu_: N/A

_Speciality_: Is a samurai and a master of all types of sword. Absolutely brilliant commander. Has the ability to muster an army out of a drunken mob.

_Other Warnings_: Although he is a samurai, Kenji Aho is well known for his ability to control and effectively use chakra. His ability to inspire loyalty in troops is legendary. Although he follows a bushido and is known for being honorable, the lack of work for serious samurai is low in this time. He will sell his work to someone he believes to have some semblance of honor—he's a bit gullible.

_Advice_: If he comes at you with more than one person backing him, consider joining his forces. If you can't find it in your heart to do so, run.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I didn't want you guys to think Aho is an idiot just because Naruto beat him and because his name is Aho. It's an unfortunate side-affect of my inability to come up with good names. Anyway, Naruto beat him because he was taking the fight completely seriously, and because Aho is a better commander than fighter. That's all.

And I have absolutely _no_ intention of killing Naruto, but I can't just let him be a happy-go-lucky Robin Hood. I'm also aware that this chapter was a bit less…light than some others.

Yeah.

Anyway, this ambitious writer has just discovered how hard it is to write a scene with a lot of characters present. Eek! Perhaps you should reassure me with reviews. They make me very happy and more incline to update.

Actually, they inspire me.

Oh, and sorry about the whole lack of Sasuke and Naruto story, but I made Asuma faint, and then I had the dying line, and you really can't end a chapter on a more exasperating note than that.

And I love being exasperating.

Anyway, will update soon…I hope. My computer might eat my homework again.

Urgh.


	12. Dying?

**Author's Note:** It's exciting to see how much more…I don't think 'popular's' the right word yet…anyway, how many more people read this as it gets longer. I finally got five reviews for one chapter!

And the fact that that's exciting makes me sad.

Sigh.

However, I have discovered that it is very difficult to hold updates hostage. So I'm eliminating the choice of kidnapper from my career options right now. I guess I'll never get that villainous death I've always wanted…unless I decide to go into theater.

Huh.

Anyway, on a more serious note, reviews really are nice and appreciated, and even if I can't hold anything hostage, reviews do put me in a productive mood… a lack thereof makes me depressed and uncreative. And I'm pretty sure this holds true for most writers.

So, to show my appreciation for my reviewers:

**cdfe88** – Can you keep me informed of Japanese spelling mistakes? My computer doesn't recognize the language no matter which setting I put it on. If you do that for me, I'll make an attempt not to get bored halfway through the spell check. Also, thanks for the advice on handling multiple characters. I actually do usually do that because I know how hard it can be to write a scene with more than five characters, but this one was unavoidable.

**Rena the pirate jedi wizard** – I was tempted to smash my computer when it told me "jedi" wasn't a word. Of course my temper tantrum may have been more to do with the Christian disco playing next door. I don't mind Christian rock—actually I think it can be quite good—but Christian disco is a little over the top. Anyway, due to a couple reviews, I'm writing a condensed version of the Naruto/Sasuke story and then devoting a story to them. Which I think I'll like better anyway: those two are fun to write.

**mander** – I'm glad to hear that about the Gennin. I was more than a little leery when I started writing them because I _know_ how hard it is to remember multiple OCs, especially if you're reading more than one story with them.

**WindRiver** – I know what you mean about the long chapters. The main reason why I'm not doing that is because I have a hard time writing past what I see as a chapter break. Also, it lets me update more frequently. However, if I ever write a chapter that's less than a thousand words, you have full permission to whack me over the head. Hard.

**Lord Bear** – I'm really glad to hear how much you're enjoying the story. And I love the idea about giving Sasuke and Naruto their own story. Do you think I should start writing it now or after this story is finished?

So, yeah…On with the story, FanFiction's the only thing I can contribute to this wonderful word because **I do not own Naruto!**

* * *

**Last Time**

"_This guy," Naruto gestured at the still unconscious Aho, "was the commander of the operation you were supposed to investigate. Bring him to Ibiki and you should still complete you mission."_

"_Why are you giving us all this?" Konohamaru asked, looking up from blueprints of the Hokage monument. "Don't you want to know what's going on?"_

"_I have a pretty good idea," Naruto beamed._

"_Besides," grunted Sasuke, "we have our ways of finding out what we need to know."_

"_Good," muttered Sakura, her voice heavy with sarcasm. "I'd hate to think you might be bereft of some precious information in our behalf."_

_Sasuke glared at his former teammate, but Hinata cut across the beginnings of the argument._

"_Naruto, what's wrong with your arm?"_

"_Oh, that?" Naruto beamed at his former comrades. "I'm kind of dying."_

* * *

**Hinata**

She rolled over and muffled a slight cough. She winced and hoped no one had heard.

"Hinata?"

No such luck.

"Yes, Sakura?"

"Do you think it's true? Naruto's dying?"

Hinata was silent for a few seconds, hoping that she was dreaming Sakura's question, that the stupid mission hadn't even started, and that Naruto was still missing, presumed dead, and very much alive.

"Hinata?"

Unfortunately, that dream world would have to wait for the next life. "I think he is dying." Sakura muffled a sob, and Hinata continued, "But I also think he and Sasuke are not telling us the whole truth."

"What makes you say that?"

"My **Byakugan**. It can see lies and truths. I didn't have it activated, but I did notice that Sasuke was watching Naruto very carefully while he spoke. He wouldn't need to pay so much attention unless they weren't sure how much to tell us."

"So you think Naruto might not be dying?" Hinata could practically hear the hope radiating from Sakura's voice, and it made her nervous.

"Why do you care so much?"

In the stillness of the cave, Hinata could practically feel Sakura's big eyes blink. "He's my teammate. Team Seven will always be a team, no matter how much we hate each other's guts at any given time."

"Any other reasons?" Hinata was shocked to realize that the hot feeling in her stomach was that of jealousy. Was she _that_ hopeless when it came to the blond?

"No. Why?"

"No reason," Hinata said as she blew out a sigh of relief.

"_Hinata_," Sakura hissed. "I am not, nor will I ever be, in love with Naruto. It would be weird. Like, like falling in love with my brother. My insanely powerful…and d-dying…brother. Not gonna happen."

Hinata closed her eyes as she felt the tears, tears she had held back for nearly twelve years, well up. She would cry when she got home, but there was no way in _hell_ she would cry with Naruto in the same cave and dying.

* * *

**Flashback**

"Dying?" It was more of a yell than a question, and Konohamaru didn't look like he was going to adhere to the phrase 'inside voice' any time soon.

"Troublesome," it was the first time Hinata had heard Shikamaru really mean that particular saying, and it filled her with an indefinable dread.

Sakura's face had gone dead white, but she remembered the Gennin, and so she seized Konohamaru, dragged him back into a sitting position, and told him rather forcefully to _shut up_. He did.

No one else seemed ready to find out exactly what Naruto had meant when he said he was dying, so Hinata forced herself to ask the question. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"Well," he scratched his head and gave a sheepish grin. "The Akatsuki got a hold of me."

"WHAT?" Konohamaru's roar was swiftly silenced followed by a glowing green fist.

Naruto continued as if he hadn't heard the yell from the boy he still saw as a younger brother. "I don't really feel like telling you how. It could cause a civil war in Konoha. Anyway they started the extraction process. Teme here was helping."

Sasuke pretended he couldn't feel the killing intent as he shrugged and said, "Orochimaru's curse seal leaves it's bearer in a woozy, easily-influenced state when it's removed. No one really knew this since the seal hadn't been removed before. Well, no one knew besides Uchiha Madara. He used that period of time to mess my mind up some more and convince me I wanted to destroy Konoha."

"And we're lucky I got to him before that happened," Naruto said. "Team Taka wouldn't have had much of a problem taking out most of Konoha. By the time they could be subdued—if they even were subdued—Konoha would have been too weak to resist the rest of Akatsuki."

Sakura hit Konohamaru before he could protest this portrayal of his beloved city, and Shikamaru asked his question. "Well, Naruto's not dead, and Konoha's still one of the five great shinobi nations. What happened?"

Sasuke grimaced. "Kyuubi's damn chakra. That's what happened."

"Explain." Shikamaru's eyes were curious, and if they had been on the face of anyone but a Nara, Hinata would have called them eager.

Naruto grinned. "Kyuubi's chakra always pisses the teme off. But it makes _him_ mad, not whoever's telling him how to act."

Sasuke continued before Naruto could confuse them any further. "In other words, the demonic chakra reminded me how it felt to be a Konoha Nin. With a _team_. I was starting to remember already. Team Taka was becoming something more necessary than a simple tool, but that damn chakra really woke me up."

"So he stopped the process of draining the chakra and attacked Kisame." Naruto was bouncing on his seat by now. "His team saw what he was doing and moved to help." He smirked at Sasuke. "I still say Suigetsu just didn't want you to kill his prey."

Sasuke shrugged. "Anyway, the fight cut Naruto loose from the process. He was nearly unconscious—first time I think anyone managed to stay awake under that much pain—but Kyuubi was wide awake, pissed, and ready to use the weakened seal. He attacked, the cave started crumbling. Zetsu and Kisame were killed by falling rocks. Konan, Pein, and Madara escaped. We hunted them down later."

Their story was met with silence until Sakura spoke. "That still doesn't explain how Naruto is dying."

Naruto winced, clearly hoping they'd be able to avoid that subject. "Remember that statue in the cave from when we rescued Gaara?"

Sakura nodded while the other Jounin remembered the description from that particular mission report.

"Well," Naruto said carefully, "It was containing the chakra of the other eight Bijuu, and when the cave started to collapse, that prison started to weaken. Unless we want the other eight demons wreaking havoc and all that, someone needs to reinforce the statue, and I'm the only one qualified."

"He's the only jinchuuriki left," Sasuke explained. "That fact combined with his sealing abilities means he can hold back the other eight Bijuu. The only problem is, it's giving him an overload of foreign chakra, and it's slowly poisoning him."

"The seals on my arm help filter the chakra a little." Even Konohamaru could see how hard it was for Naruto to grin while he said this. "It's slowing down the process anyway. On the plus side, if I somehow live through this, I'll have plenty of chakra to spare."

Shikamaru barely repressed a snort. "You always had chakra to spare."

Naruto shrugged and grinned.

"Is there a chance you'll live through this?" Hinata's voice was soft.

Naruto met her eyes, and looked away. "Nothing is impossible."

* * *

**End Flashback**

Her tears finally in check, Hinata ran her thoughts over what they were going to tell the Gennin. Chances were Sasuke and Naruto would have to leave before the young ninjas woke up, in which case their sensei would have to know what was permissible to tell them.

Sasuke had said to tell them everything except the whole dying bit. He argued that being kept in the dark rarely had the desired effect, and after a moment's silence the rest agreed. Naruto had double checked that all the Gennin knew how to keep a secret.

Her inner turmoil finally calming down, Hinata was just about to drift into sleep when a hand on her shoulder jolted her back into the world of the living. She opened her eyes and found herself staring into the most vivid pair of blue eyes she had seen since—

Horrified, Hinata discovered that, yes, she was still very much able to blush.

"Time to go, Hinata," Naruto's voice barely broke a whisper. "Someone's coming. He's friendly, but Sasuke and I can't risk being held up of he finds us."

Hinata nodded, and before she could lose her nerve, she flung her arms around her first and only love. As Naruto had been crouched over Hinata's head, he found himself pulled into a very awkward position.

Thankfully, he managed to turn his head before Hinata's cleavage could suffocate him.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Freed, Naruto nodded, then kissed her cheek before sprinting out of the cave.

Sasuke walked by her and stopped. "It goes to say that you shouldn't tell anyone about us. I know you could find allies, but the chances of being overheard by unfriendly sources are too great. You never saw us."

Hinata nodded once more, and Sasuke too sprinted from the cave.

* * *

**Naruto and Sasuke**

"You didn't tell them there was a chance you might survive." It was a testament to his sheer tenacity that the Uchiha managed to keep all traces of accusation from his voice.

Naruto glanced over at him, finally allowing his exhaustion to show through his mask. "It's a one in a million chance. We don't even know if it's possible."

"Hn." They ran in silence for a while until Sasuke broke the silence a second time. "You always did have ridiculously good luck."

Naruto grinned. "They should put it in the bingo book."

"I wouldn't be surprised if they already have."

"Teme…"

"Hn?"

"I'm not saying I want to stop trying to find a way to survive this, but I want to have some fun again. Those Gennin were interesting."

A rare grin fluttered across Sasuke's face. "Juugo always did want students."

Naruto threw back his head and cackled. "The poor things won't know what hit 'em!"

* * *

**The Cave**

Neither Sakura, Shikamaru, nor Konohamaru had been particularly pleased to find out that their old comrades had left without saying goodbye. Hinata had maintained that they were pressed for time, and she had been awake, but it was a disgruntled set of Jounin who shook their Gennin awake.

The resulting wails of displeasure enforced the feeling of gloom that had descended on the cave as soon as Naruto had left.

Said gloom did not lessen once the story of the nuke-nin had been told. Dia even went so far as to say that if their sensei weren't hiding something than the other guys certainly were.

No one tried to correct her.

So it was a decidedly grumpy cavern to which Pakkun led an exhausted Kakashi.

The one-eyed Jounin took one look at the guilty expressions on thirteen faces and sighed. "I'm going to take a nap. When I wake up, you will tell me how the compound you were supposed to be _investigating_ blew up, how you ended up in an invisible cave, and _why_ Pakkun says he can smell Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke."

He stalked to the back of the cave, dramatically collapsed, and began snoring as soon as his head hit the ground.

Hinata and Shikamaru traded apprehensive glances. Sakura and Konohamaru preferred swearing.

* * *

**HATAKE KAKASHI**

_Rank:_ Jounin, former ANBU captain

_Class:_ A/S - rank

_Taijutsu:_ High-Jounin

_Ninjutsu_: Kage

_Genjutsu_: High-Jounin

_Kenjutsu_: High-Jounin

_Senjutsu_: N/A

_Fuuinjustu_: Limited Training

_Specialty_: Is known as the Copy-Nin. Has an implanted Sharingan eye which he has mastered to the point of the Mangekyou. Uses said eye in order to fight a psychological battle. Is nearly as intimidating as Morino Ibiki.

_Other Warnings_: Is very fond of the Icha Icha series. His taijutsu and genjutsu are formidable. There are rumors that he can send an opponent into another dimension if given enough time. Has an original assassination technique known as **chidori** or **raikiri**. Has also mastered the **rasengan**. Holds the summoning contract with the Dogs. It is unknown if he can summon the boss dog.

_Advice_: Don't take his lazy demeanor as a sign of weakness or lack of velocity. Run fast. It is possible that he may take an _Icha Icha _as a bribe, but that is uncertain.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Ah, another chapter finished. How exciting! If you'll excuse me, I need to go study for my tests tomorrow.

Please review!

Oh, and I've been wondering if I should put an overview of the Gennin teams before each chapter so it's easier to keep them straight. What do you think?


	13. Operation Prank Konoha

**Author's Note:** Sorry! I know that technically a week isn't _that_ long to update, but to me it is. Especially since I'm writing a story with OCs. Anyway, I'm back; I rock, and I'm giving you an update sans review acknowledgements.

I appreciate all the reviews, but going past five "thank you's" is a bit much—especially since I tend to ramble. So thank you, all you nice people willing to take the time to review. You all hold a special place in my heart.

**Disclaimer:** Alas…I seem to be making no progress in the eternal quest to own Naruto. I don't own him, and I probably never will. No sue for you.

* * *

**Last Time**

_The one-eyed Jounin took one look at the guilty expressions on thirteen faces and sighed. "I'm going to take a nap. When I wake up, you will tell me how the compound you were supposed to be _investigating_ blew up, how you ended up in an invisible cave, and why Pakkun says he can smell Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke."_

_He stalked to the back of the cave, dramatically collapsed, and began snoring as soon as his head hit the ground._

_Hinata and Shikamaru traded apprehensive glances. Sakura and Konohamaru preferred swearing._

* * *

**One Week Later**

* * *

**Kakashi**

As he stared at the chakra burns caused by hi eighth consecutive chidori, Kakashi wondered if maybe he should take a leaf out of Konohamaru's book and destroy trees with the awesome powers of his fists in order to vent frustrations.

Because, really, splinters were so much easier to heal than chakra burns. And trees tended to explode when overloaded with lightning.

If he were to be honest with himself, Kakashi would admit that he _needed _to feel the pain of chakra burns and boiling sap. It let him know that he was still alive and he could still feel.

He needed to feel that right now. When Sakura had told him that she had seen Naruto and Sasuke, and that the two boys were working together _for_ Konoha's benefit, Kakashi had been filled with a warmth and pride that he hadn't felt for years.

After all, very few Jounin could claim that they had raised a team of formidable shinobi that would all end up in the bongo books under the classification of an S-ranked shinobi. Those who did tended to commit suicide after their extremely strong charges decided they didn't need tied to be happy, only power.

The fact that Sasuke and Naruto had kept their bonds not only to each other, but also to Konoha filled Kakashi with relief and dragged him back from an edge he had not even been aware of approaching.

Then Shikamaru had informed Kakashi that Naruto was dying.

Amid the outraged shouts of the Gennin who had not been informed of this particular detail and Pakkun's own yelp of surprise, Kakashi's eyes met Hinata's, and he realized that he had been suspecting something like this the minute he had seen that the proud, confident lift of Hinata's head had been accompanied by something else.

Guilt.

Sadness.

And Hope.

He supposed that he shouldn't be surprised by the hope. Anyone who had had the opportunity to meet Naruto and be changed by him had a higher-than-normal tendency to hope, but it was that aching hope in Konoha's most composed kunoichi that had Kakashi experimenting with just how much lightning it took to blow an oak tree into the sky to make friend with little birdies.

He did not want to see that hope dashed to pieces. He had the sinking feeling that the minute Hinata's hope died, it was only a matter of time before the hope of Konoha, and its famed Will if Fire, would ebb away into nothing.

And he would know that Naruto was dead.

He would have failed his team for the last—and the most unforgiveable—time.

It was for this reason that Kakashi had agreed not to tell Tsunade of the appearance of her beloved little brother, nor of his interference in Konoha's doings.

It looked like Naruto and Sasuke were helping Konoha in ways that were not particularly ethical or legal, and the less people who knew of their movements, the better.

Besides, he had never once been able to hold a secret over the head of Senju Tsunade, and the look on her face when she found out about Kakashi's knowledge of Naruto would be well worth the concussion that was sure to follow.

So Kakashi flexed his hand and hoped the chakra burns would go away before Shizune-chan saw them. Then he wandered off in search of Gai.

The man might be crazy, but a little bit of lifetime rivalry was just the thing the doctor prescribed.

Or would have prescribed…if Kakashi had been willing to go see a doctor.

On the other hand, if it had been recommended, Kakashi would have done everything in his power to not do it.

Gai could never know just how important his rivalry was to Kakashi.

* * *

**MAITO GAI**

_Rank:_ Jounin

_Class:_ A/S - rank

_Taijutsu:_ Beyond-Kage

_Ninjutsu_: Low-Jounin

_Genjutsu_: High-Chuunin

_Kenjutsu_: High-Jounin

_Fuuinjustu_: Limited Training

_Specialty_: Taijutsu master. Trains relentlessly and never seems to quit. Terrifying speed levels. Observes everything as a youthful competition that he must not lose.

_Other Warnings_: Views normal battles as something of a game. May toy with an opponent while seeming to not even realize he's doing battle. Has a very disturbing sense of fashion. Is usually paired with former student Rock Lee. The two have terrifying taijutsu combinations.

_Advice_: If he is with his former student _do not fall under the genjutsu_. Close your eyes and run. You probably can't outrun them, but you will avoid being scarred for the remainder of your short life. There is speculation that talking about youthfulness may lengthen lifespan. Unsure if this is a welcome outcome.

**Naruto and Sasuke**

"Finally!" Naruto beamed. "Honey, we're ho-ome!"

"Hn," grumbled Sasuke. "Nobody's going to be happy to hear your annoying voice _this_ early in the morning, Dobe."

"Say that to my face, Teme!"

"I just did."

All further arguments were cut off as Suigetsu came flying out from the depths of the cave. Judging by his lack of sword and undignified landing, Naruto was willing to bet that Suigetsu was not coming to greet his beloved—or not-so-beloved—leaders.

His suspicions were confirmed when Karin appeared two seconds later, wielding a frying pan.

"Pervert!" Her face was red, her hands shaking with rage. Sasuke noted with some interest that she also looked very pleased with herself.

"She caught him spying on her while she was changing to go to bed." Juugo always had a way of silently materializing out of nowhere. "She's been beating him up ever since Sui said that he hadn't realized she had such a good body."

"Ah." Sasuke looked over at his feuding team, then looked away. No way in _hell_ was he going to interfere in an argument like this.

"They haven't let anyone get any sleep." Inari of the Wave had materialized alongside his idol. "Hey Naruto-nii-san. Kick anyone's butt lately?"

Naruto grinned and nodded, but then frowned as a new possibility occurred to him. "No, this simply will not do," he murmured.

Sasuke gave him an odd look, but he was unable to warn Naruto against cupping his hand to his mouth and yelling at the arguing couple. "Oi! Can you two wait to kill each other until _after_ we have a quick meeting?"

Karin glared at her blond boss, but refrained from shouting. He had practically given her permission to kill her fishy, perverted friend. And while she probably wouldn't ho all the way, it was nice to know she probably wouldn't stop. She grinned. It was _so_ nice to have a self-proclaimed pervert-hater as a leader. Not that Sasuke-kun wasn't great. Just a bit cold.

Inari ran off to gather the remaining member of the Kitsune-Taka organization while Suigetsu hauled himself off the ground and placed himself firmly behind Sasuke. He knew better than to try to use Naruto to protect him.

* * *

**TEAM KITSUNE-TAKA**

_Leader: _Uzumaki Naruto, _Second:_ Uchiha Sasuke

_Members: _Momochi Suigetsu, Doki Karin, Kure Juugo, Nami no Inari, Nii Yugito, Morino Idate, Uchiha Obito

_Class:_ Existence of said group is still questionable. If ever confirmed it will probably be classified as even more dangerous than the Akatsuki.

_Purpose_: The purpose of said hypothetical group is still unknown. All members enjoys thoroughly humiliating opponents and the occasional prank. They may actually have enemies, or they may just enjoy causing mayhem. Rumors of stolen scrolls—have never been confirmed.

_**Known Attempts Against:**_

_Kirigakure_ - Remaining seven swordsmen frequently found missing underwear or swords. Doesn't seem to matter which. Mizukage found hanging from his office window on numerous occasions. Several dead agents.

_Konohagakure_ – Doesn't seem to be any action against this nation. Perhaps an alliance?

_Otogakure_ – Most spiteful actions taken against this nation. Stolen scrolls, murdered shinobi, traps both pranked and deadly going off in unexpected places. Sound four constantly found in various states of humiliation, usually involving a lot of dye.

_Sunagakure_ – Playful pranks. Eyebrows painted on Kazekage. Itching powder in Kankerou's war-paint. Sand floor turned to glass with a massive lightning jutsu that managed to kill only am Oto spy.

_Amegakure _– Constant flooding and stolen scrolls. Patrol troops found with massive blood loss from apparent nosebleeds. Tell tales of beautiful women seducing them and then beating them up.

_Iwagakure_ – Constant sightings of the ghost of Konoha's yellow flash. Has caused several mental breakdowns among Iwa's older troops.

_Kumogakure_ – Stoll Jinchuuriki Nii Yugito, who was apparently not as dead as Akatsuki allowed to be thought. Constant rumors of replacing Raikage's water with first class sake. Large winds sent through village for days at a time that make all lightning jutsu either useless or uncontrollable.

_Advice_: If you run across any member of this time, try to escape with your life so we can confirm rumors of this group's existence. Of you can't escape with your life, advise the group changes its name to something more 'cool.'

* * *

**Hinata**

She didn't think Naruto was aware of how much of a burden he'd put on her when he asked her not to tell anyone of his whereabouts. She knew Sakura would be dying of guilt whenever she was around Tsunade-sama, but Hinata really had no idea how she was supposed to not tell Iruka.

Not only was the man her probable best friend—they had worked together for seven years and had shared a warm affection for a certain blond nuke-nin for even longer than that—but he was also taking her out for dinner right now.

He had missed not working with her, and he wanted to know how his old students were doing.

They had had a lovely time eating Ramen, joking with Teuchi, and swapping tales of tricky student, but they had now reached an awkward silence.

Iruka knew Hinata was hiding something. Hinata didn't want to be hiding it.

"I saw him," she blurted, and then clapped her hands over her mouth in horror.

"Who?" Iruka's brow furrowed as he thought. Hinata had just been out on a mission, so it wouldn't be a Konoha Nin. Unless…

His tanned skin turned pale. "Naruto?"

She nodded slowly, eyed filling up with tears.

Iruka closed his own eyes, trying to hold back the tears he felt at the thought of the one boy he thought of as a son. He had not come back to Konoha in over five years. That made him a nuke-nin.

_But he was Alive_.

"Is he okay?"

"Sort of." They both pretended they couldn't see Teuchi's investment in this conversation. He missed Naruto too.

"What does sort of mean?"

Grief-stricken eyes met his, and Iruka's stomach plummeted. No.

"We're going for a walk tomorrow," he said firmly. "And you're going to tell me everything you can't tell me here."

A watery smile met his gaze. "Anko will get jealous."

"Anko-chan knows that you and I are close friends. She can deal." Iruka may have been flinching on the inside as he said these words, but as Hinata's watery smile turned genuine, he knew it had been worth it.

* * *

_**UMINO IRUKA**_

_Rank:_ Chuunin, teacher. Could be Jounin.

_Class:_ A - rank

_Taijutsu:_ High-Jounin

_Ninjutsu_: Mid-Jounin

_Genjutsu_: High-Chuunin

_Kenjutsu_: Low-Chuunin

_Fuuinjustu_: Limited Training

_Specialty_: Is an excellent teacher. Prefers talking to combat, but can and will raise hell if he ever thinks someone important to him is being threatened. Implements Earth and Fire Ninjutsu with strong taijutsu.

_Other Warnings_: Is close friends with Hyuuga Hinata and Uzumaki Naruto. Dating Mitarashi Anko. Has a disturbing ability to make even enemies look up to him as a mentor.

_Advice_: Even if you can kill him, don't. Run. If you hurt him, a sadistic, snake-summoning kunoichi will very happily torture and kill you.

* * *

**Team Taka-Kitsune**

"All right," Naruto bellowed. "Quiet!"

His attempts at some semblance of a formal meeting were met with snorts of derision. He glared at the snorters (mainly Suigetsu, Obito, and Inari), and then began talking once he was sure he could be heard.

"Doubtless you've heard about my little excursion into our unknown compound, and said compounds, er, untimely explosion."

More hoots greeted this statement, but they were a bit more appreciative.

Naruto grinned. "Have you also heard about our overly-friendly encounter with some old comrades?"

A dead, worried silence met his ears, and he nodded grimly. "I thought so. Anyway, we're going to need to pull suspicion away from our actions. I don't want other villages thinking we're helping Konoha."

Inari raised his hand. "Why does it matter? It's not like we're aligned to them."

Naruto sighed. "No, but other villages may think we are. Especially if they think Sasuke and I are working together. They might use our actions as an excuse to start war with Konoha."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. He knew all this. "What are you getting at, Dobe?"

Naruto glared at him. "As I was about to explain before a Teme farted, operation Prank Konoha is now under way. Three of us will be going to Konoha at a time and making some people's lives a living hell. The other six of you will split up. Leave two people at the base to make sure it stays undetected. Send another two out to check our smaller bases and see what needs restocking. The other two get to raise hell in any other hidden country while still gathering information on the old Akatsuki and any new political movements. We meet back here every three weeks to switch out. Got it?"

A resounding "Hai!" met his ears, and Naruto grinned. He quickly split the groups. He, Inari, and Obito would go to Konoha while Juugo and Sasuke opted to stay at home. Idate and Yugito chose to check out the other bases, and Karin and Suigetsu, after promising not to kill each other, agreed to harass the other hidden villages.

"Okay!" Naruto bellowed. "We just have one more thing left to settle. Inari needs a new name."

"What?" Inari looked confused. "Why?"

"Hinata-chan's Gennin team has an Inari on their team. I can't notify everyone of _his_ name change."

As Inari gaped, choked, and spluttered at the infuriating, simplistic _logic_ that seemed to accompany Naruto, he remembered flashes of his very first father figure. He became silent as he contemplated what it would be like to share the same name with such a string man.

He met Naruto's laughing eyes, and smiled. "Kaiza," he said, as if it explained everything. It did.

Naruto grinned, "Well Nami no Kaiza," he said, slapping his little brother on the back, "let's go raise hell in Konoha."

* * *

**NAMI NO KAIZA**

_Rank:_ None

_Class:_ A - rank

_Taijutsu:_ High-Jounin

_Ninjutsu_: Low-Jounin

_Genjutsu_: High-Jounin

_Kenjutsu_: N/A

_Fuuinjustu_: Mediocre

_Specialty_: Has not yet been observed in a fight. Suspect to be a subtle brawler.

_Other Warnings_: Excellent recruiter. Began at age nine when he rallied the villagers of Wave against crime lord Gatou. Friends with very strong nuke-nin and grandson to influential carpenter.

_Advice_: You might be able to kill him if you fight. Don't bet on it. He's the baby of Kitsune-Taka, and none of the members will hesitate to come to his aid, whether he want it or not.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I contemplated bringing Haku back to life instead of dragging in Idate, but I think I'll be stretching it with letting Obito take over Madara. You'll get more of that story in the next chapter.

Anyway, the stakes have been set; we know who's who, and I've set myself up with scenes that don't involve too many people. Yay me!

Next chapter should be funnier.


	14. Tangos and Hyuuga Protocol

**Author's Note:** Hello! I am feeling very cheerful today, so I thought it would be a wonderful time to start making life hell in Konoha. Erm…yeah! Thank you for the reviews. I'm sure I would have liked some more, but we can't have everything in life.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto! I do own the Gennin, though, and I think I owe you a quick overview of my delightful little ankle-biters.

* * *

**Team Four – Team Kansei (Trap)**

_Nara Shikamaru:_ Jounin-Sensei

_Hijiikata Sougo:_ For all you Gintama fans, yes, I was running out of creativity. Sougo is a sadistic cutie who enjoys swordplay, and is therefore getting supplementary training from Hatake Kakashi. He doesn't quite understand how to interact with other people, but he is fiercely loyal to his team.

_Shishi Ryuu_: Translates to Lion Dragon. I like both of the words, and it shows the leadership, potential wisdom, and fierce protectiveness that are the major traits of this guy. He's an orphan, and was one of the major pranksters of the school. Placed last in the Academy so he could be sure to be with Zii Dia. Ryuu is also very fond of creating his own explosive seals. He's learning Taijutsu from Mitarashi Anko—they scare people.

_Zii Dia:_ There isn't really an explanation for her name; I just liked the way it sounded. Dia was the other prankster of the academy, but she takes her life as a prankster much more seriously. She has made it her personal goal to get Abino Triyuu to loosen up and to take the name of Number One Prankster from Uzumaki Naruto. Dia comes from a family that forges its own ninja wire. This wire reacts only to the chakra of its forger and is nearly impossible to break. Tenten is teaching her all about weapons and integrating them with her wire.

**Team Eight – Team Hanto (Hunt)**

_Hyuuga Hinata:_ Jounin-Sensei

_Aburame Azelle: _The byproduct of having Shino and Kiba on the same team. Azelle is a cheerful Aburame who loves Tobasco sauce. Her flexible attitude allows her to temporarily integrate any type of insect into her kikkais, which makes her a very scary fighter. Shino is teaching her more about using the Aburame fighting style.

_Hyuuga Inari:_ The cross-dressing Hyuuga. He is unbearable cute, hero worships Hinata for saving him from the Caged-Bird Seal. He also likes playing dress-up with Hanabi. We think she dropped him on his head a few times as a child. Very bouncy and bubbly. Learning how yo create his own Jyuuken style with Neji and Hinata.

_Uzu Denkou:_ Naruto's cousin (although neither of them are completely sure of it. His mother's maiden name was Uzumaki until she married and Uzu. Denkou (means lightning) is from the Tribe of Flowing Waters, a tribe made up of clans leftover from the ruined Uzugakure. Denkou is considered nobility because he is descended from the two founding clans of the Hidden Village. He came to Konoha with the express purpose to find his older cousin, but he doesn't know exactly who he is. Genma and Shizune are teaching him how to use senbon with his taijutsu style.

**Team Nine – Team Shikekiri (End)**

_Sarutobi Konohamaru:_ Jounin-Sensei

_Abino Triyuu_: Very shy, used to be considered snobby until Hikari realized he could barely hold a conversation. He has no problem talking when he knows the answer, and his teammates are getting him to lighten up. His father died in a shinobi-related accident. Triyuu is learning Taijutsu from Rock Lee.

_Inuzuka Hikari:_ The other result of Shino and Kiba's friendship: an intelligent Inuzuka with excellent chakra control. Her canine partner is known as Kitsinu, and they both have a warped sense of humor. Hikari is learning how to implement the already devastating Inuzuka attacks with Sakura's monstrous strength. She is also learning how to heal since her team is the most combat heavy, and she has the best chakra control.

_Yuuhi Asuma:_ Asuma and Kurenai's kid. He serves the purpose of grounding my story in a definite time and also being the level head of a combat heavy team. Asuma is probably better at looking all the angles of a problem that his sensei, probably because he's been playing shougi with Shikamaru since he could understand the concept of winning or losing. Konohamaru is teaching him the Sarutobi family taijutsu style.

* * *

Okay, now that I've given you a ridiculously long description…on with the real story!

* * *

**Last Time**

"_Hinata-chan's Gennin team has an Inari on their team. I can't notify everyone of _his_ name change."_

_As Inari gaped, choked, and spluttered at the infuriating, simplistic logic that seemed to accompany Naruto, he remembered flashes of his very first father figure. He became silent as he contemplated what it would be like to share the same name with such a string man._

_He met Naruto's laughing eyes, and smiled. "Kaiza," he said, as if it explained everything. It did._

_Naruto grinned, "Well Nami no Kaiza," he said, slapping his little brother on the back, "let's go raise hell in Konoha."_

Convincing Naruto and Kaiza to dance and sing all the way to Konoha had made him even more cheerful that usual. Maybe it was the carefree, happy feeling he got whenever someone took his most idiotic suggestions as brilliant ideas.

Maybe it was getting to hear Madara scream his frustration from behind the sealed gates Naruto had helped him construct.

After all, torturing Madara had to be one of Obito's favorite pastimes.

He had been very lucky to be with another Uchiha and a jinchuuriki for those precious few moments he had managed to break Madara's hold on his mind. Really the Uchiha founder shouldn't have trusted his host not to kick up a fuss at the attempted torture and assassination of a kid who looked a lot like his old sensei.

He had gained a brief control over Madara just as Sasuke rebelled, and the two had agreed to put a sleep jutsu over Madara until Sasuke and Naruto would be able to figure out a way to suppress Madara in a similar fashion to the sealing of Kyuubi.

Obito still used some of the words he had heard coming from Madara's mouth when the evil Uchiha had first realized what was going on.

Now, he was going back to Konoha to wreak havoc and mayhem with one of the top pranksters the shinobi world had ever seen. Naruto had even suggested they kidnap a few Gennin and torture…err… _train_…them.

Much as Obito looked forward to tormenting his very own stolen Gennin team, the thing he was most excited about was seeing Kakashi again.

He hadn't really been aware of the silver-haired bastard the last couple of times they'd run into each other due to Madara fiercely stomping out any signs of possible recognition. Now though, he would be able to pick on his old teammate to his heart's content.

As Naruto poofed into a clothed version of his **Orioke no Jutsu**and broke into a tango with the enthusiastically humming Kaiza, Obito idly wondered if he could figure out a way to communicate with Kakashi through their shared **Sharingan**. He would bring it up with Naruto after they convinced the quickly approaching Konoha team that they were seeing and hearing ghosts.

That or they could 'convince' the team of green-looking Chuunin that seriously professional interference was needed in this particular area.

Six Chuunin just wouldn't cut it.

* * *

When Tsunade had given them a mission to find out who had been disturbing the edges of outer with a Konoha with truly horrendous version of "Kokomo," "Bohemian Rhapsody," and some tango tune that didn't quite sound like it had actually been composed by a professional, Tenten had informed the Hokage that April Fool's day was last week.

Neji had activated his **Byakugan** and realized, with some trepidation, that the Hokage had not been kidnapped. She was not drunk…much. And she was definitely not lying.

Which left only one option: someone actually was crazy enough to combine these three songs and sing them at the top of his…or their…voice.

Oh.

_Shit_.

Gai and Lee were less horrified at the mission and more worried that, for once in their lives, they had reached a disagreement that could not be solved by a simple hug to the inaudible music of a setting sun.

Lee wanted to sing the Beach Boys on the way to meet their newest challenge.

Gai thought that his voice would be much better suited to Queen.

Tenten and Neji wondered again why they hadn't transferred to a new team when they had the chance, especially when Lee and Gai came to the agreement that they could do both the Beach Boys and Queen.

As long as Neji and Tenten would do a tango so as not to make that song left out.

By then, the team was past the village gaits, and the two sane members of Team Gai could not run away.

The Green Imbeciles would only catch them and drag them back.

So it was with extreme misery that Tenten and Neji finally made it to the area from where the original singing had come. Lee had somehow managed to find a rose and was dancing cheek-to-cheek with an increasingly reddening Hyuuga.

Tenten had managed to hold Gai off only through the use of her new **Harinezumi no Jutsu**, an extreme summoning technique that surrounded Tenten with a long trench coat of her favorite pointy objects.

Naruto and his **Kage Bunshin **took one look and them and promptly choked on their tongues. The Bunshin dispelled. Naruto did not.

He managed a quick **Henge** before Team Gai found him amongst the copious smoke caused by multiple released **Kage Bunshin**.

"Who are you, and how the hell did you make all those **Kage Bunshin**?"

Naruto looked up at Neji and decided he needed to lighten up.

The shinobi disguised as an innocent six-year old girl smiled. What were friends for?

Neji's famed **Byakugan** never succeeded in telling his brain what the hell happened next.

* * *

She twitched.

Team Gai shuffled back a few feet.

She twitched again.

Neji scowled and looked at his feet.

He was a sight to behold. The pretty little six-year old that had been surrounded by the dispelled remnants of clones had been very creative.

His hair had been died a blinding shade of neon green, far worse than the spandex of Gai and Lee's chakra. Orange-colored contacts had been forced into his eyes and glued there with chakra. Neji was fairly sure that if he tried to activate his **Byakugan** with these things in his eyes, he would quickly blind himself.

The little sadist hadn't stopped there. She had artfully shredded Neji's Jounin outfit until the damn thing resembled a tutu. Combine that and the beautifully applied Geisha make-up, Neji resembled a fashion-don't in the world of female dancers.

And hookers.

To top this outrage off, the little demon of a girl had managed all this in the grand timeframe of approximately five point three seconds. Then she had _pouted_ and said she'd wanted to manage in three!

The very audible sound of Neji's grinding teeth warned all but Lee very far away from the outraged Hyuuga.

Unfortunately, Lee's education in the subtleties of human body language was, as of yet, sadly lacking. He ended up with a black eye the minute he enthusiastically complemented how well Neji's face took make-up.

Finally Tsunade lost her not-so-tight grip on her sense of humor. Loud guffaws followed the humiliated Hyuuga as he flounced out of the Hokage tower, right into the astonished Hinata and her Gennin team.

Hinata took one look at her enraged cousin and said, very calmly, "Neji-nii-san, was there something you wanted to tell me?'

By this point, a crowd had gathered, and Neji felt so humiliated that he wished he knew a jutsu that would let him sink into the ground and die.

He missed the barely controlled twitching around Hinata's very amused mouth.

Just as he decided to stop gracing Konoha with his not-so-regal appearance, Azelle remarked, "you know, if you're doing an undercover mission or something, you might want to ask Inari-kun here for advice. He has really excellent fashion sense."

Neji blinked at his cross-dressing little cousin, who smiled and gave him the thumbs up.

A pained cry ripped its way out of his throat as the beleaguered Hyuuga finally turned tail and fled to his nice, safe Home, where he would find that he was allergic to the make-up and that the Hair dye was permanent.

For once, he considered straying from Hyuuga protocol and shaving his head.

Hyuuga protocol prevailed, and Neji wondered just how he was going to hide his hair when he went to go buy black hair dye.

* * *

Kaiza grinned as he watched the purple-haired kunoichi and the guy with the scarred nose tried to discretely scratch various body parts without the other noticing.

Their evening had started as what Kaiza would define as "cute, but way too tame."

Surprising, considering that according to the Kitsune-Taka Bingo Book, Mitarashi Anko was as far from tame as Pluto was from the Sun.

So really, he didn't feel too bad about putting itching powder on their clothes while they ate their meal of ramen, dango, and sake.

Really, if their relationship was going to be messed-up by a little bit of embarrassing scratching the two shouldn't be together in the first place. He was doing them a favor, really.

Kaiza's attention snapped towards the couple when Anko noticed Iruka trying to reach a particular difficult section of his back.

She huffed, plopped herself into his lap, and gave Iruka a look that clearly stated, "Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours."

Iruka promptly complied.

Soon after, a grinning Kaiza slipped from his lovely perch. Unless he was much mistaken, Konoha's new exhibitionist couple had just been born.

Kaiza was so proud he could almost squeal.

* * *

Karin and Suigetsu had never realized that destruction was fun even when it wasn't directed towards each other.

They had quite happily flooded Suna and damned the rivers in Kiri.

Suigetsu had had to stuff a fist in his mouth after he and Karin had successfully electrocuted the Raikage with his own jutsu.

Blowing up the cliffs in Iwa had been challenging, but angry punch from Karin succeeded in burying a local group of nuke-nin in rubble.

By the time the local authorities dug up the headless bodies, Karin and Suigetsu would be long gone with the bounty, the weapons, and the cute little kid that some cannibal had been trying to baste.

Ew.

As they walked down the road to Ame, their last victim before they started terrorizing Oto, Suigetsu discreetly eyed Karin as she walked hand in hand with the rescued meal.

"Hey, Karin," He called. "Has anyone ever told you that your ass kind of looks like a bubble?"

The kid looked nervous as steam began to emerge from Karin's head.

"What?" He voice was so quiet that even Suigetsu knew that he had pushed the volatile redhead a little too far.

"Erm… you know that was supposed to be a compliment? I _love_ bubbles. They're probably my favorite thing in the world. Aside from your ass, I mean. Um—"

"Argh!"

Suigetsu yelped and fled as an enraged Karin whirled around and charged, leaving the petrified kid in the middle of the road.

* * *

**TEAM STEAM**

_Rank:_ Unknown

_Class:_ S – rank

_Group:_ Kitsune-Taka

_Members_: Karin and Suigetsu

_Taijutsu:_ **Suigetsu** – High-Jounin, **Karin** – Low-Jounin

_Ninjutsu_: **Suigetsu** – Mid-Jounin, **Karin** – Mid-Jounin

_Genjutsu_: **Suigetsu** – Low-Jounin, **Karin** – High-Jounin

_Kenjutsu_: **Suigetsu** – High-Jounin, **Karin** – Mid-Jounin

_Fuuinjustu_: **Suigetsu** – Mediocre, **Karin** – Advanced, not quite considered a master

_Special Abilities_: **Suigetsu** – Can turn into water, **Karin** – Covered with tattoos that will heal whoever bites them.

_Specialty_: Known as Team Steam for their tendencies to communicate in English while they fight. Suigetsu uses water based Ninjutsu while Karin is more inclined towards fire. While this would normally create a horrible partnership, the two have figured out how to coordinate their attacks to the point that their jutsu will release a scalding, blinding steam about their victim. This makes them ideal bounty hunters because they can either capture or kill once their prey has been incapacitated by the steam

_Other Warnings_: Another possibility for the name of this partnership is the volatile relationship between the two nin. They seem more eager to kill each other than to kill their opponents. This can lead to a false sense of security until said opponent is suddenly blindsided and killed. It's frighteningly efficient.

_Advice_: If you want to live, try to avoid getting between one of their fights. If a fight begins, take the opportunity to run, not to try a sneak attack. Chances are neither will work, but you'll have a better chance running than fighting.

**Author's Note: **Yeah, it's short. And a bit fluffy. The torture of the Gennin teams and Kakashi will start tommorrow and Karin, Suigetsu, Idate, and Yugito will un into a little trouble. The rescued kid may or may not become an OC. It might be interesting to see Kitsune-Taka deal with a kid.

Please Review. It really does mean a lot to any author, and it makes me sad when I think that my writing might be mediocre to the point that's it's not memorable enough to flame or compliment.


	15. The Shit Hits the Fan

**Author's Note: **Waugh! I'm a horrible person! I suck! I'm a mean, mean, mean not-writing machine! Actually, I have been writing a lot…I just didn't manage to write anything remotely creative. I have, however, managed to write analytical essays in three different languages. Yay me?

Anyway, thanks for the reviews: they equal very much appreciation. I shall now dazzle you with the awesomeness of my delayed writing. At least, I hope I will.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or any of the characters therein. Shoot.

* * *

**Last Time**

"_Hey, Karin," He called. "Has anyone ever told you that your ass kind of looks like a bubble?"_

_The kid looked nervous as steam began to emerge from Karin's head. _

"_What?" He voice was so quiet that even Suigetsu knew that he had pushed the volatile redhead a little too far._

"_Erm… you know that was supposed to be a compliment? I _love_ bubbles. They're probably my favorite thing in the world. Aside from your ass, I mean. Um—"_

"_Argh!"_

_Suigetsu yelped and fled as an enraged Karin whirled around and charged, leaving the petrified kid in the middle of the road._

* * *

Kokoro Bosoi was having a really bad week. First, his entire town was slaughtered by a group of Iwa nin after some kicks. Then the same Iwa nin had decided that they could keep Bosoi alive and train him as their apprentice. Or just kill him later. _Then_ one of the nin had decided he was hungry and a seven-year old would fill hi up nicely.

He had thought that when the weird pair of nin had rescued him, everything would be okay, but the boy with sharp teeth seemed to thrive on provoking the pretty redhead lady, and now Bosoi was being dragged along by the hand by an incensed kunoichi who seemed ready to commit murder.

Suigetsu himself wondered why he enjoyed annoying Karin so much. It could have had something to do with the way her voice sounded much more natural when she shrieked at him than when she purred at Sasuke. Maybe it was because he thought the look on her enraged face was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

On the other hand, it could also be because he just liked to heckle people, and Karin reacted so _beautifully_.

Karin was taken by surprise when Suigetsu suddenly stopped. She managed to stop in time, but Bosoi was not so lucky. He hit the back of the man's sword and tumbled to the ground. The only thing that stopped him from yelping was Suigetsu's rather damp hand wrapping around his mouth.

One look at her partner told Karin that the time for trying to hurt Suigetsu was over for the moment. Carefully, she made her way over to the same branch supporting Suigetsu and stared in the same direction.

A large group of Oto nin were clustered around a glowing…_something_. They were laughing. One was kicking whatever they had on the ground.

"Well," he said, "looks like Orochimaru-sama's new seal works the way he wants it to."

"What do we do with it?" Another asked.

"Special delivery to Kabuto," the first nin leered. "We want to make sure that it works the way it's supposed to. Then maybe we'll get to play with it a little."

His callous suggestion prompted another round of hoots and hollers from what Karin soon realized were some of the best Oto nin Orochimaru had. Wondering what prize could get group of Nin that could probably defeat Team Steam so excited, Karin carefully moved a little closer.

Her face went white. "_Shit_."

A large hand clamped over her mouth, and a breathless voice whispered, "Quiet."

* * *

Iruka stared at the Hokage monument, shook his head, and stared again. Was it just him, or had the stone faces shifted a little?

He was broken from his contemplation when a pair of arms snaked around him and a sultry voice purred a greeting in his ear.

Iruka smiled and turned to Mitarashi Anko, bending his head to hers for a very thorough hello kiss. She smirked at him when he pulled away, and was about to pull away when Genma's bored voice brought her back down to earth.

"Anko, we have a mission. You can't just go haring off when you see your boy-toy and forget about the job. This one actually sounds like fun."

Anko snorted and rolled her eyes. "You're just hoping Kakashi will let you borrow _Icha Icha Vacations_ in return for a shortened reprimand."

Genma shrugged. "So what if I am?"

Anko grinned and skipped over to her mission partner. "Well, at least you're honest about being a pervert. Maybe I'll refrain from yelling at the pervert about tardiness until after you get the book."

"Thank you, Anko." Genma inclined his head to her, and the two started heading the direction of the residency of Konoha's legendary copy-cat nin. Suddenly, Genma halted and rolled his head back in Iruka's direction. "Iruka, you were the best at catching Uzumaki-san when he was on one of those pranking binges, right?"

Confused, Iruka replied in the affirmative.

"Oh, _good_," the senbon chewing Jounin chirped. "Tsunade-sama would like to see you. Something about finding the new prankster and giving him a medal. Or a cuddle. Or maybe drowning him in a puddle. Meh. Anyway, she wants to see you."

And with that, Genma and Anko sauntered away in search of Konoha's resident pervert. Iruka could only blink before he turned back towards the Hokage monument. Was the Shodaime's nose _growing_?'

* * *

Tsunade glared at the council of elders.

They beamed back.

Growling in the back of her throat, Konoha's Godaime Hokage threw herself into the back of her chair and entertained thoughts of a good sulk.

"Hokage-sama, really." Koharu, the elected speaker of the council, narrowed her eyes at the blonde Hokage. "Such behavior is unbecoming of a Hokage. Even one such as yourself."

Tsunade's own eyes narrowed at the implied insult. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Hokage-sama," Koharu hummed. "I was just saying that you really shouldn't sulk. Even if it has worked for kunoichi in the past, you should not have to resort to such tricks now that you are Hokage."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Slurs on my reputation aside, I see no reason for a delay in arresting Danzou. With this new evidence—"

"Sketchy evidence," interrupted Koharu.

"Excuse me?"

"The evidence is sketchy at best. We do not know if it has been tampered with in order to destroy one of Konoha's esteemed ninja."

"Are you questioning the loyalty of some of my most trusted Jounin?" Tsunade could feel her control over her temper slipping.

"No, no. Only their priorities."

"Explain."

"It's quite simple, really" Koharu's face hardened. "Konohamaru-kun, although he is the grandson of the esteemed Sandaime, has a strange determination to find and protect the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki. Hyuuga Hinata may be the Hyuuga heir, but her infatuation with the aforementioned Jinchuuriki does make us wonder what she would do when faced with a choice between Konoha and Uzumaki. And the Nara has already made it clear that he does not approve of the way the Uzumaki situation was handled."

"I don't see what Naruto-kun—"

"Uzumaki."

"Excuse me?"

"The boy is obviously not a Konoha shinobi, if he is still alive anyway. Therefore you should not refer to him in such endearing terms. Whether you refer to a dead man who was not even worthy of our memorial stone or a nuke-nin, the Hokage should _not_ refer to the Kyuubi br-Jinchuuriki, in such endearing terms."

Tsunade glared at the council. "If I had had my way, we would have had search parties. And then if we still hadn't found him, a hero, yes _hero_, of Konoha would have been placed on our memorial stone."

The council members looked distinctly uncomfortable at the mention of the search parties, and Tsunade's gaze sharpened. Something was very fishy where the council and Naruto were concerned.

"In the meantime," she continued, "I will consider what to do about the information three _loyal_ shinobi of Konoha brought home with their three teams of _loyal_ Gennin. I will discuss it with you at a later date. Now get out of my office. I have an appointment with one of our shinobi in respect to the latest hash of pranks in Konoha."

* * *

Karin forcefully locked all the muscles in her body, hoping that her unseen assailant would take her feigned freezing as a sign of inexperience, and she could catch him off guard.

"Cute, Karin." Suigetsu's voice held some annoyance. "But it's just your invisible partner trying to keep you from giving our position away. We would be in even deeper shit if you got caught to."

Karin made a miserable noise in the back of her throat at the thought of her annoying partner out-thinking her for once.

"Oh, _shut up_. Go get the kid. We need to wait a little and make a plan."

Karin rolled her eyes as she turned to face Suigetsu. "I think an even better idea would be to get ourselves into hiding and then figure out _how the hell_ this happened!"

Bosoi's voice cut across the impending argument, his voice sounding ridiculously mature for such a young age. "Perhaps we should hide first and argue later? You two might be able to escape those men, but I know _I _can't."

Suigetsu and Karin turned to look at the young boy, the only person who had ever been able to put a stop to their arguments without threatening bodily harm.

Bosoi raised an eyebrow. "I've been having a _really_ bad week. I don't need it to get worse. Can we please hide now?"

Suigetsu turned towards Karin and cocked his head to one side. She shrugged.

Without a word, the two nin dissolved into the trees, much like the steam their team was named for. Somehow, they managed to take Bosoi with them without making a sound.

* * *

Iruka stumbled from the Hokage tower, his face grey. In his trembling hands, he held two mission folders. One—very thick—for himself. The other for Anko.

Shaking, he turned his face once more towards the Hokage monuments. The changes were clearer than ever, now, and now that he thought to look at it, Iruka could see the _very _subtle changes that had occurred on the face of the Yondaime.

While the changes on the Godaime' Sandaime, Nidaime, and Shodaime were made to match techniques the Hokage's were known for, Yondaime was made to bring to mind another person.

Tsunade had thin wrinkles covering her face, and the Sandaime's features had become even more monkey-like. Nidaime had been made to look soaking wet to remind everyone of his famed water techniques, and everyone was reminded of Mokuton with one look at the vines and flowers now covering Shodaime's face and hair.

Yondaime, however, was simply shown with an easy smile and a faintly rounder face. His hair was made to look a little softer, and if he looked really closely, Iruka could see six very faint lines etched across the cheeks.

"_Someday, you'll see my face up there with all the rest!"_

Iruka shuddered as he remembered what Naruto had said to him, just days before the young shinobi had disappeared.

Seeing how few changed had really needed to be made to the Yondaime's monument reminded Iruka of something Tsunade had told him in relation to his newest mission.

"_Your cover is to find whoever has been pulling these infuriating tricks. If you do find him, do not intercept, just bring the name to me. And only to me. Your real mission, though, will be to investigate _all_ of the council's relations to Uzumaki Naruto: their opinions, actions, and information. See if you can find out how they would react of someone were to tell them that Naruto is the son of our Yondaime."_

Soon after, Iruka had stumbled out of the Hokage's office, shocked with the revelations of both Naruto's parentage and the levels of Tsunade's trust in him. He carried with him a sister assignment to his own, meant for Anko's eyes alone.

Iruka was studiously ignoring the idea that Tsunade hadn't told Iruka how Anko would be helping him because if he was caught, no amount of torture would be able to prove the nature of the second assignment.

It was not a comforting thought.

'_Oh well,_' he thought. _'At least the new addition to the Yondaime's monument will give me openings to Naruto's connection to our old Hokage._'

* * *

Kaiza was out of ideas.

Normally, it wouldn't bother him too much. Out of the entirety of the entire Kitsune-Taka organization, he was only less creative than two of its members.

Unfortunately, those two were the ones accompanying him on this particular mission, and those two were thoroughly enjoying the fruits of their very productive mischief-making minds.

Obito was torturing Kakashi and, through him, any shinobi caring enough to ask the copy-nin what was bothering him. Naruto was driving everybody crazy with his ever subtle changes to the Hokage monument.

Kaiza idly wondered if the changes his boss had made to the Hokage monument were possible to remove. Knowing Naruto, probably not. Or the changes were probably impossible to remove if you were blond-haired, blue-eyed, and the container for the most feared demon of the hidden villages.

Naruto probably only needed a single jutsu.

Grumbling to himself about stupid blonds and their stupid creative mischief patterns, Kaiza wandered on until he stumbled upon a group of Gennins practicing their aim.

One of them had the wide, pale eyes that were a definite characteristic of the Hyuuga clan.

One of them had reddish-blond hair and the wide blue eyes that looked like they belonged on an Uzumaki's face.

The other looked very cheerful and personable, despite the sunglasses that were a characteristic of all Aburame's.

Kaiza cocked his head to one side and stared at the boy who had made him change his name, however unknowingly. A grin broke out on his face.

Run out of ideas? Him?

Neither Inari, Azelle, nor Uzu had any idea what or who had taken them by surprise. All they knew was that one second they had been practicing their kunai and shuriken throwing, and the next, they were shooting up the face of their Shodaime Hokage and into a cave they had no idea even existed.

Uzu had the perfect words for the situation: "What _is it_ with weird nin and caves?"

* * *

Kakashi was having a really bad day.

"**Are you sure it hasn't jut been a bad couple of decades, Kaka-kun?"**

'_Go away,'_ he thought frantically. _'You can't be talking to me. You're dead!'_

"**I got bored. Anyway, you talk to me all the time. At the memorial stone."**

'_That's to honor your _memory_! Not your ghost!'_

"**Well, now you can talk to me whenever you want. Ooh! You can even stop being late because of visiting my stone! Cause honestly, Kaka-kun, I'm the only guy who make the whole late thing look cool."**

'_Hey! My excuses are way better than yours!'_

"**Pfssh. They suck."**

'_Do not!'_

"**Yeah, they do."**

'_Who asked you?'_

"**Nobody. It's one of the perks that come from living in your head."**

'_Well, please refrain from commenting next time."_

"**Kaka-kun learned a magic word! I'm so proud of little Jounin! He's aaaall grown up now!"**

"Hatake-san?"

"SHUT UP!!!"

Hinata blinked. "I'd rather not."

Kakashi stared at the petite kunoichi in horror as he realized that he'd just yelled at one of the sweetest shinobi of Konoha to shut up. Closing his visible eye, he smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "Mah, Hinata-chan, you really can call me Kakashi. We're both Jounin, you know."

"**Smooth, scarecrow,"** Obito chortled.

'_You stay out of this!'_

Hinata cocked her head to one side as she watched Kakashi's eye slide in an out of focus. She wondered if perhaps she should fetch a medic nin.

But with a vigorous headshake, Kakashi once more turned his attention to Hinata. "Did you want something, Hinata-chan?"

"Hmm? Oh! Yes." Hinata tipped her head back to its usual upright position and tugged on her braid, carefully avoiding the spikes woven within. She may have developed an immunity to their poison, but it still stung when she pricked a finger. "My Gennin team is missing. Could you help me find them?"

Kakashi raised one eyebrow. "Missing?"

"**Eh, isn't that the team we saw running up the …Shodaime's …face? Oh, **_**shit**_**."**

Obito's presence faded entirely from Kakashi's mind, and he staggered slightly as he informed Hinata of her team's location.

"Thank you Kakashi-san." Hinata smiled and bowed. "I'll see you later."

* * *

Naruto's eyebrow twitched.

"—just for a couple weeks. They disappear; everyone's frantic; they come back stronger; everyone's _more _frantic."

Obito's head cocked to one side as he considered Kaiza's idea.

"_And_ we get to completely traumatize them while we train them!"

Naruto reconsidered his initial reluctance. It actually sounded fun. Until a whirlwind of infuriated Hyuuga burst into the cave.

"Na_ru_to! What the hell are you trying to do? What's wrong with you? You can't just kidnap my Gennin! I won't allow it!"

Naruto's eyebrow twitched again.

"Hinata-chan."

"And if you try to leave anyway, I'll fight you! You may not have my Gennin! I don't care if Uzu's related to you: He's _mine_!"

Uzu's head snapped around to regard Naruto.

"Hinata-chan?"

"And I don't care if you could rip me to pieces with your bare hands! I will protect my precious people!"

"Hinata-chan!"

Hinata's tirade shuddered to a halt as she stared at the half serious, half amused look on her one-time crush's face. Considering how easily he had stopped her scolding, she supposed she probably still liked him. How inconvenient.

Naruto quirked an eyebrow at the slightly blushing Hyuuga heir and opened his mouth in order to explain Kaiza's impetuous decision, but he was interrupted by a gasping, exhausted, Idate.

"Yugito-chan," he gasped. "The Sound has captured Yugito Nii."

* * *

**MORINO IDATE**

_Rank:_ Unknown

_Class:_ S – rank

_Group:_ Kitsune-Taka

_Taijutsu:_ High-Jounin

_Ninjutsu_: Low-Jounin

_Genjutsu_: Low-Jounin

_Kenjutsu_: High-Jounin

_Speed_: On par with that of Konoha's Yellow Flash.

_Specialty_: Uses his insane speed to compliment his Taijutsu and Kenjutsu. Also acts as runner and messenger for the Kitsune-Taka group.

_Other Warnings_: Younger brother of Konoha's head interrogator—it is uncertain how violently sad man might react to the news of his brother's death. There is also a rumor that this man wields the true Raijiin of the Nidaime Hokage.

_Advice_: Don't even bother with running unless you want to see how long you can keep him interested in the hunt.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Okay, so sorry this took so long to update. Maybe if you review soon I'll try not to have a repeat. In my defense, I had a lot of work to do last month. Still, I'm really sorry.

On the other hand, I do have finals coming up. Wah!


	16. Hello!

**Author's note, guys, sorry. Sort of. Well, not really...**

Okay! So here's the thing: I've been really tired/busy/depressed for the past year, thus the complete lack of update. However, as one of my pet peeves is people not finishing their stories, I took a look at this story so I could finish it. What I saw was not bad, but not great either. Actually, it combine nearly all the aspects of fanfiction that grabs my attention and then loses me halfway through. Not cool.

Plus, the title really doesn't go with the story. Like, at all.

So, I have written the first chapter to this delightful new/old rewrite thingy, and I'm apologizing to those of you who do not wnat to go through the whole plot again. For what it's worth, it really is a rewrite. The plot remains; the words are radically different. And more funny in my opinion.

So The new fic can be found under the title **Splinter and Reforge**

Enjoy! That or kill me, but I'd be happier if you enjoyed.


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